March 26, 2016 “They’re Watching” (*1/2 out of four) was an umpteenth found-footage horror movie that is not worth watching. In Eastern Europe, an American home improvement tv show visits a village but things naturally go haywire when they accidentally disrupt the village’s superstitious religious ritual. Disappointing directing debut for noted graphic novelists Jay Lender and Micah Wright who fail to inject their story with much thrills or scares. “No One Is Watching” would have been a better title for this dud Continue reading →
March 26, 2016 “My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2” (**1/2 out of four) was a pleasant sequel to the 2002 smash hit about the Portokalos family reuniting for another big Greek family wedding. Nice to see all the original cast members back together and there are some laughs but this lacks the freshness and bite that the original had. Worth checking out for fans of the original but others would do better watching the first one. Still, this is far better than most comedy sequels and is far better than Nia Vardalos and John Corbett’s last collaboration “I Hate Valentines Day.” Continue reading →
March 26, 2016 “Batman vs Superman: Dawn Of Justice” (** out of four) was a hugely disappointing action comic book movie about the Dark Knight (Ben Affleck) and Superman (Henry Cavill) who are pitted against each other by the evil Lex Luther (Jesse Eisenberg). Cavill is still bland as Clark Kent/Superman, Affleck is miscast as Batman, and let’s just say the annoying Jesse Eisenberg won’t make anyone forget Gene Hackman or Kevin Spacey anytime soon. Film is jammed with visual effects but never develops a sense of awe or wonder as the original “Batman” or “Superman” did. Fight scenes between Batman and Superman are disappointingly brief but film still manages to go on too long. Hardcore comic fans should still probably take a look but this comes up empty Continue reading →
March 26, 2016 “Smothered” (* out of four) was a dreadful horror comedy without any horror or comedy in which five horror movie icons (Kane Hodder, Donald Shanks, R.A. Milhailoff, Bill Moseley, Dane Rhodes) play themselves as washed-up actors going to an unsuccessful autograph signing who then decide to haunt a trailer park instead but they end up the ones being both haunted and hunted. It’s hard to imagine anyone besides lifetime subscribers to Fangoria Magazine getting worked up about the prospect of seeing these people play themselves but even still, the movie is inept and dumb Continue reading →
March 26, 2016 “Countdown” (** out of four) was a by-the-numbers action thriller starring WWE star Dolph Zieggler as Bruce Willis…..I mean as a renegade cop still reeling from the death of his young son, who tries to locate a bomb in the city and thwart the plans of a psychotic madman. Showcase for wrestling star Zieggler and also Kane isn’t bad but isn’t anything spectacular either. Neither Zieggler nor Kane should quit their day jobs anytime soon. One great breakout sequence in which Zieggler escapes from custody makes this worth watching on a very draggy night. Continue reading →
March 23, 2016 “Roboshark” (*1/2 out of four) was a toothless Redbox horror thriller about a great white in the Pacific who swallows a UFO aircraft and is turned into a deadly robot//shark hybrid and soon there’s blood in the waters. Potentially fun thriller is sunk by a silly plot that becomes increasingly cornball and dumb and some horrendous acting that really has to be seen to be believed. The shark does look cool though. Watch “Jaws” (or even “Jaws 4”) again instead. Continue reading →
March 20, 2016 “Trakked” (* out of four) was an awful thriller not worth tracking or watching except for those who will watch anything in the Redbox machine. When a scheming loser (Eric Annunziato) is found to be cheating on his girlfriend (Pamela Sutch), she then inserts a camera in his head to track his every move and plot revenge! Sutch also directed this mess so perhaps she should have learned more on how to use a film camera first before proceeding. Dreadful acting and writing stop this dead in its trakks. Continue reading →
March 20, 2016 “Pee Wee’s Big Holiday” (** out of four) was a tiresome return for Pee Wee Herman (Paul Reubens) who takes his first-ever holiday and decides to go on a cross-country trip with not-so-hilarious encounters. Nice to see that Reubens looks eerily the same almost 30 years later at 61 years old but lack of story and laughs make this one for his die-hard fans only. Not bad, especially since I was never a huge Pee Wee fan to begin with, but unlikely to win him any new converts. Continue reading →
March 20, 2016 “Zoombies” (*1/2 out of four) was a mindless, silly rip-off of “Jurassic Park” about a virus that spreads through a safari theme park and turns all the zoo animals undead as several park workers and attendants must stop them before they escape. Steven Spielberg should probably sue but even he probably can’t be bothered to watch this timewaster. Kim Nielsen is good as the doctor who runs the park but other actors are easily outacted by the zoo animals. Continue reading →
March 20, 2016 “The Throwaways” (** out of four) was a murky Redbox spy thriller about a computer hacker (Peter Brooke) who is captured by the C.I.A. (led by James Caan) and forced to work for them to combat international terrorism. Both predictable and confusing although it moves fairly fast and Caan adds some style as always as the tough C.I.A. boss. Still, throw this one away and watch “Three Days Of The Condors”, “Sneakers”, or “Hackers” instead. Continue reading →
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