“Boned” (*1/2 out of four) was a heavy-handed “comedy” about a struggling actress (Angela Landis) trying to save a valuable Maltese puppy from a group of murderous thugs, a lurid dominatrix (Bai Ling), and a conniving and manipulative doctor (Josh Randall). Fittingly enough- the movie that all of these weirdos are stuck in is a real dog itself. All of them should have said “woof” to this dumb and unfunny script. Comic book fans will remember Bai Ling from the 1994 masterpiece “The Crow” but she was more convincing cutting people’s eyes out and foretelling the future than as a dominatrix.