May 15, 2016 “Kill Command” (*1/2 out of four) was an empty, derivative thriller set in the future in a technology-reliant society in which an army squadron is pitted against a series of killing robots out to (yawn) exterminate mankind. Yet another “Bladeruner”/”Alien”/”Robocop” wannabe that doesn’t make the grade. Kill this one from your Redbox list and re-watch those three classics again instead Continue reading →
May 15, 2016 “Field Freak” (* out of four) was an amateurish Redbox horror thriller about a writer (Dave Juehring) who moves him and his family into an abandoned cabin in the middle of the woods but unbeknownst to them- they’re being stalked by rabid beavers. Rabidly bad acting and filmmaking turns this into an unintentional comedy. It’s movies like these that destroyed the horror genre in the ’80’s before “Scream” resurrected it 20 years ago. Continue reading →
May 15, 2016 “The Asian Connection” (*1/2 out of four) was a disconnected, derivative action thriller starring a tired and mumbling Steven Seagal as a crime lord in Southeast Asia who is set off when two American expatriates steal his money and rob his banks in an effort to stage all-out war. Confusing, tedious thriller features little of Seagal and even less action or tension. It’s movies like these that subjected Seagal to straight-to-Redbox and bottom-of-the-DVD dreck. Continue reading →
May 15, 2016 “Well Wishes” (*1/2 out of four) was an artificial comedy about a young slacker (Shane Callahan) who loses his job due to a coin-toss and then implements a nonsensical plan to build an enterprise of harvesting coins from wishing fountains with none-too-funny results. Viewers can save their coins by avoiding this pointless and contrived comedy which is in sore need of some vigor and bite. Callahan’s likeable performance is wasted. Continue reading →
May 15, 2016 “Most Likely To Die” (** out of four) was a tired slasher thriller about a group of whiny former classmates who gather for a party the night before their 10-year high school reunion and they are stalked and slain by a mysterious killer in accords to their senior yearbook predictions. Far from the worst of its ilk but illogical and dumb. “Halloween” and “Friday The 13th” did this kind of thing better nearly 40 years ago. Very similar in some ways to the plot of 1986’s “Slaughter High.” Continue reading →
May 15, 2016 “The Haunting Of Alice D” (* out of four) was a worthless Redbox horror thriller about the ghost of a dead brothel worker who haunts an old mansion. When evil new owners take it over a century later, (yawn) all hell breaks loose. Both visually and dramatically ugly and moves at a snail’s pace. One-time Jason actor Kane Hodder has a small but key role as a villain but this fiasco is unlikely to lead to a career revival for him. Continue reading →
May 15, 2016 “Man Up” (*** out of four) was a snappy, breezy romantic comedy starring Simon Pegg and Lake Bell as two London singles who mistakenly meet for a blind date that goes from bad to worse but eventually end up falling for one another. Both Bell and especially Pegg are at the top of their game and their funny chemistry helps you overlook the script’s many improbabilities. Very similar to the 2010 Tina Fey-Steve Carrell comedy “Date Night” but much funnier and less ridiculous than that misfire. Continue reading →
May 15, 2016 “Sharkansas Women’s Prison Massacre” (*1/2 out of four) was a toothless horror thriller about a group of sexy and promiscuous female prisoners (Dominique Swain and Traci Lords among others) who are assigned to prison field work and are then besieged by a giant blood-thirsty shark. Not as awful as the hilarious title implies but not funny enough, sexy enough, scary enough, or – frankly- bad enough to make it entertaining. Not the cult horror movie one would like it to be. Watch “Jaws” again instead. Continue reading →
May 15, 2016 “The Horde” (*1/2 out of four) was a bloody, derivative Redbox horror thriller about a group of young folks and bad actors who go on a trip to the woods and are menaced by hillbilly mutants. Costas Mandylor from “Saw” and Bill Moseley from “The Devil’s Rejects” are onhand as the main villains but this movie liberally rips off both “The Hills Have Eyes” and “Wrong Turn”. Watch either one of those again instead of this by-the-numbers dreck. Continue reading →
May 15, 2016 “Bite” (** out of four) was a creepy Redbox horror thriller about a young girl (Elma Begovic) on her bachelorette party in Costa Rica and gets bit by an insect and gradually begins to turn into an insect herself! Too gross and unpleasant and hard-to-take after a while yet seedy production design and stylish cinematography are impressive. Begovic’s fierce and committed performance makes this worth watching for a little while but that still doesn’t mean you shouldn’t watch “The Fly” again instead. Continue reading →
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