October 25, 2016 “I Know You’re In There” (*1/2 out of four) was a gloomy, boring horror thriller about (what else?) a possessed child, a haunted house, and (yawn) family exorcisms. A young man (Will Hurst) discovers he has a long-lost sister after their mother commits suicide and they move into her isolated home but are suddenly overtaken by paranormal activity. “The Shining”, “Poltergeist”, and “The Amityville Horror” should all be receiving royalty checks for the amount of horror movies that have ripped them off over the last year. Movies like these make you wonder if filmmakers “know” how to make anything else anymore. Continue reading →
October 25, 2016 “Halloweed” (* out of four) was a disastrously lame stoner comedy no matter how much you smoke that makes “Half Baked” or “Pineapple Express” look like Noel Coward by comparison. In a Midwestern nowheresville town called Mooseheart, two pothead losers (Simon Rex and Shannon Brown) show up and get swept up in a murder investigation involving weed and other assorted mayhem that neither Cheech nor Chong could make heads or tails out of. Incoherent comedy/adventure/horror movie changes moods and style with each scene and is done in by annoying characters and a stupid script. Great title, though. Watch “Halloween” again instead. Continue reading →
October 25, 2016 “Ordinary World” (**1/2 out of four) was a sincere but unexceptional melodrama about a former punk rocker (Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day) coping with life after rock and settling into middle age and being a dad but has a mid-life crisis on his 40th birthday when he reunites with his old friends and bandmembers. Best thing about the movie is Armstrong who is endearing and funny in his first starring role that easily could reflect his own life; otherwise this treads on overly familiar territory involving middle age, leaving one’s youth behind them, and growing up. Worth watching but worth also re-watching “American Beauty”, “City Slickers”, and “The Young Adult” for movies that already covered similar ground. Continue reading →
October 19, 2016 “We Still Steal The Old Way” (**1/2 out of four) was a brutal, stylish underworld London melodrama about a British crime family (led by Julian Glover and Ian Ogilvy) who try to commit a bank heist and simultaneously break out their old partner in crime (Patrick Bergin). Unexpectedly missing are Jason Statham and Vinnie Jones who would have made this cockney British crime family really complete. Film’s title is ironic since it steals from multiple Guy Ritchie and Martin Scorcese films but it’s so engagingly acted by a charismatic cast and told with conviction, style, and violence that it’s worth watching all the same. Dynamite music score by Robert Geoffrey Hughes and Chris Hurst. Continue reading →
October 19, 2016 “Bus Driver” (*1/2 out of four) was a dumb-and-dumber horror thriller about a bus driver (Steve Daron) who is a former military soldier whose former skills come in handy when him and his students are stalked and terrorized by backwoods lowlifes when their bus breaks down and they stumble upon a not-so-concealed drug operation. Potentially fun horror show is hindered by cheapjack production and stupid script but at least it moves fast. Robert Forster picks up a few bucks and must have been cast only for his name value because he shows up only in the last two minutes. Continue reading →
October 19, 2016 “Hillary’s America: The Secret History Of The Democratic Party” (*1/2 out of four) was ludicrous propaganda which is exactly what you would expect from Dinesh D’Souza who brought us “2016: Obama’s America”. This time around, he focuses on the history of the Democrats and how the corrupt Democratic party led to the political reigning of the Clintons in office. Film manages to be anti-Clinton, anti-Trump, anti-America at times, and pretty much anti-watchable. Watching Trump and Clinton in one of their heated debates was more incisive and more entertaining. Continue reading →
October 19, 2016 “The Girl On The Train” (*1/2 out of four) was a muddled, obtuse adaptation of Paula Hawkins’ smash novel about an alcoholic train commuter (Emily Blunt) who becomes involved in a missing persons investigation after she becomes entangled in a murder involving a couple she knows. Or does she? Or is it real? Or do we care? Film has so many flashbacks and unpleasant recollections that it’s hard to know what’s real and what’s not and subsequently- it’s hard to care about anything. By the “revelation ending”, even the central mystery isn’t all that interesting. Many critics and fans of Hawkins’ novel praised this movie so you may want to judge for yourself. Good performances and moody cinematography by Charlotte Bruus Christensen are film’s few virtues. Continue reading →
October 19, 2016 “London Town” (**1/2 out of four) was an endearing coming-of-age drama about a troubled 14-year old boy (Tom Hughes) who is introduced to the music of The Clash and is subsequently befriended by its legendary lead singer Joe Strummer (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) which changes his life forever. One of the rare movies that conveys one’s love of music and shows the raw power of The Clash’s music but the story is earthbound and never really takes off. Incidentally, this was based on the screenplay that was going to be a biography of Strummer that was never made and Rhys Meyers sounds eerily exactly like Strummer when singing. Not the great film it could have been but a nice try. Continue reading →
October 19, 2016 “Ditch Day Massacre” (*1/2 out of four) was a lame horror movie about a high-school student (Katy Foley) and her four promiscuous friends who decide to ditch school but as luck would have it, this happens to be the day that a psychopath from her past (Bill Oberst, Jr.) tracks her down and starts murdering her friends one by one. Sex, screams, and gore by-the-numbers in this timewaster, and the bad performances are no help. Horror fans should ditch this and watch the Halloween horror marathon instead. Continue reading →
October 19, 2016 “The Accountant” (** out of four) was a lackluster action thriller about a mathematical genius (Ben Affleck) who turns out to be a vigilante who is up to his neck in underworld ties and begins to be investigated by the Justice Department (led by J.K. Simmons). Story is jumbled and aloof, just like Affleck’s character, so it’s hard to get involved or care about anything. Affleck is miscast and most of the supporting cast (including Anna Kendrick and John Lithgow) are wasted. A disappointment from director Gavin O’Connor (“Pride And Glory”, “Warrior”) who attempts to cross over into Jason Bourne territory but this comes up empty. Continue reading →
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