August 20, 2017 “The Ice Cream Truck” (** out of four) was an odd dark-side-of-suburbia thriller in which a repressed middle-aged housewife (Deanna Russo- who is a dead-ringer for Olivia Wilde) moves back to her suburban hometown but finds that the suburbs are a lot scarier than the big city. Oh yeah- I almost forgot to mention that the local ice-cream truck driver is a brutal serial killer. Best thing about the movie is Russo who is sincere and charismatic but otherwise this is alternately bizarre, tedious, and predictable. Subplot about the ice-cream truck driver has almost nothing to do with the main story! David Lynch satirized and vivified everything there is about suburbia in “Blue Velvet” over 30 years ago anyway! Continue reading →
August 19, 2017August 19, 2017 “Delinquent” (** out of four) was a lukewarm teenage melodrama about a young delinquent (Alex Shaffer) from the wrong side of the tracks who is forced to improvise and manage the fall-out of a robbery gone wrong involving his family (Bill Sage and Kevin Bigley) when a hard-nosed local cop (Kim Director) begins to investigate. Tired and predictable story is well-intentioned but covers all-too-familiar territory. Crisply shot by Daniel Marks on beautiful locations in Woodbury, Connecticut. Continue reading →
August 18, 2017 “Ripper” (* out of four) was a bottom-of-the-barrel horror mess set in London 1888 around the time Jack the Ripper was gripping the country; numerous local citizens and terrible actors come together to combat the situation and find Jack but find he’s one tough psychopath to crack. Insulting and incoherent look at a historical story makes previous Jack movies “Jack’s Back” and “From Hell” look like HItchcock by comparison. Over a hundred years later, perhaps it’s time to let Jack rest in peace and put these umpteenth rip-offs to bed. Continue reading →
August 18, 2017 “Fatal Defense” (*1/2 out of four) was a fatally dumb thriller about a single mother (Ashley Scott) who signs up for self-defense classes from a young instructor (David Cade) after a break-in at her house but he subsequently develops a frightening obsession with her that soon goes off the rails. Illogical and predictable and often laughably silly. Sherilyn Fenn has a key role as a detective on the case but she would have fared better taking part in the “Twin Peaks” reunion instead of this dreck. Continue reading →
August 15, 2017 “The Book Of Henry” (*1/2 out of four) was an unbearably hokey children’s drama/adventure/family unity story about a young kid (Jaeden Lieberher) who is dying of a rare brain disorder and leaves behind a book for his determined single mother (Naomi Watts) to help save the girl next door from her abusive father (Dean Norris) but this proves difficult for all of them. A well-meaning but almost complete misfire that tries to incorporate about 5 movies into one! Sincere performance from Watts and nice music score by Michael Giacchino are unable to enrich this corn. Disappointing directorial change-of-pace for Colin Trevorrow who directed the much more exciting “Jurassic World.” Continue reading →
August 15, 2017 “Batman And Harley Quinn” (** out of four) was a crude and silly animated feature about Batman (voice of Kevin Conroy) and Nightwing (voice of Loren Lester) who are forced to team up with the Joker’s girlfriend Harley Quinn (Melissa Rauch) when a deadly threat is presented to Gotham City from Poison Ivy (voice of Paget Brewster) and Floronic Man (Kevin Michael Richardson). Harley comes off as screechy and annoying and Batman is one-note and stiff leading to an absence of fun; where are Margot Robie and George Clooney when you need them? Even though the proceedings are forgettable, the scene where Quinn gets up and sings Blondie’s “Hanging From A Telephone” and an entertaining action climax makes this almost worth a look for Batman completists. Continue reading →
August 12, 2017 “Toxic Shark” (** out of four) was a trifling shark thriller about a group of annoying young singles (Kabby Borders, Christina Masterson, Bryce Durfee and others) who go to a tropical retreat which is invaded by a poisonous shark whose victims soon turn into zombies! Sounds a lot more fun than it plays out although it remains watchable. The shark scenes deliver the goods but in between- the movie is often dumb and dull. When you’re rooting for the shark to devour and kill his victims, that should be the first sign that something is wrong. Continue reading →
August 12, 2017 “Open Water 3: Cage Dive” (*1/2 out of four) was a virtual remake of the original with some found-footage and reality television nonsense thrown in to attempt to bring the series up to date. Three friends (Joel Hogan, Josh Pothoff, and Megan Peta Hill) begin filming an audition tape for a reality television series as they go cage-diving but soon find that they are in dangerous shark waters who are hungry and bloodthirsty. I wasn’t a huge fan of the original but it looks like “Jaws” next to this time-waster. Speaking of “Jaws”, the cage scene with Richard Dreyfuss (which is liberally ripped off here) is far scarier than any scene here. Continue reading →
August 12, 2017 “68 Kill” (** out of four) was a twisted black comedy about an idiot (Matthew Gray Gubler) who hatches a plan with his vindictive girlfriend (AnnaLynne McCord) to rip off her rich father but naturally the plans go haywire and things go horribly wrong which leads to a nightmare of consequences. Starts off fun with its embracingly offbeat attitude and some nasty laughs but gradually becomes ugly and stupid especially in its second half when it gets excessive and violent. Yet another movie obviously inspired by The Coen Bros. and Tarantino but falls short in the stretch. Stylish cinematography by Needham B. Smith. Continue reading →
August 12, 2017 “Chokeslam” (*1/2 out of four) was a gaspingly unfunny comedy about a meek deli clerk (Chris Marquette) who tries to rekindle a romance with his high-school sweetheart (Amanda Crew) at their 10-year reunion but he finds out she has gone to become a successful and brutal professional wrestler. Utterly dumb and contrived story means to be a touching and zany story about longing for one’s youthful love but may make you feel as if you’ve been put in a permanent headlock by the end. Some cute lines here and there but film goes on forever at nearly two hours. Continue reading →
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