August 6, 2017August 6, 2017 “Brave New Jersey” (*1/2 out of four) was an artificial and drab retelling of Orson Welles’ classic 1938 broadcast of “The War Of The Worlds” and how it sent a small nowhere town in New Jersey into a frenzy and led many of the town’s residents to question their identity and question their place in life. By the end, viewers will probably question why they wasted an hour-and-a-half of their life on this timewaster. Supposedly a comedy although it’s about as funny as an episode of “Lost In Space.” Same story was told in a much different context in 2005’s “War Of The Worlds” but maybe it’s time we let Orson Welles rest in peace. Continue reading →
August 6, 2017August 6, 2017 “Lavender” (*1/2 out of four) was a dreary horror melodrama about a young woman (Abby Cornish) who loses her memory after a sudden car accident; her psychiatrist (Justin Long) then suggests she visit her childhood home for mental clarity but naturally this turns out to be a very bad idea as she starts having hallucinations and paranoia. Director Ed Gass-Donnelly shows a flair for mood and atmosphere but unfortunately it’s wasted on a story that plays like yet another dull remake of “The Shining” and “Paranormal Activity”. Cornish is good in the lead role but Long is miscast as her psychiatrist. Beautifully shot by Brendan Steacy Continue reading →
August 6, 2017August 6, 2017 “Detroit” (*** out of four) was a searing recreation of the 1967 Detroit riots in which the National Guard and police had their hands full with a city under siege and how this led to three innocent African-Americans to be murdered and a police force in shambles. Director Kathryn Bigelow once again masterfully recreates time and place and grabs your collar with many raw, powerful moments although story lacks a dramatic center and becomes shapeless after a while. John Boyega and Anthony Mackie stand out in uniformly strong cast. Not the great film it could have been but timely and engrossing. Continue reading →
August 6, 2017 “The Dark Tower” (** out of four) was a lumbering adaptation of the Stephen King series about an eternal battle between the heroic Gunslinger (Idris Elba) and the villainous “Man In Black” (Matthew McConaughey) and how a young boy (Tom Taylor) becomes caught between them and caught in the fate of the world in the balance. Too much mumbo and too much jumbo and not enough fun although McConaughey’s entertaining performance makes this worth watching for at least a few minutes. Final showdown is exciting but takes far too long to get there. Continue reading →
August 4, 2017 “Message From The King” (*1/2 out of four) was a half-hearted revenge story that can’t decide whether to be a pulp-action thriller or a volatile melodrama and thus amounts to hardly anything. In run-down Los Angeles, a tough South African (Chadwick Boseman) arrives to discover what happened with his younger sister and then subsequently tries to avenge her death. Even Boseman (who was so good in “42” and “Get On Up”) is dull in this by-the-numbers and muddled story. Film works best in its final third which features a few good fight scenes but the message is long gone by that time. Continue reading →
August 4, 2017 “Armed Response” (*1/2 out of four) was an utterly generic action thriller starring Wesley Snipes as the leader of a team of highly trained government operatives (Anne Heche, Dave Annable and others) who are trapped inside an isolated military compound when their system shuts down and they have to fight to stay alive and gradually uncover what killed the previous team who was there. Story gradually gets duller and talkier as it goes along and is deficient in thrills or scares. It’s routine duds like this that gradually killed Snipes’ career and I don’t know what the hell Anne Heche is doing in this. Bizarrely, Gene Simmons has a minor throwaway role as a prisoner at the beginning but he should probably kiss his acting career goodbye by this point. Continue reading →
August 4, 2017 “Sleeping Beauties” (*1/2 out of four) was a dreadful adult-oriented soft-core version of the classic story about the title character Sleeping Beauty (Pristine Edge) who awakens from a curse and marvels at the wonders of the new century and discovers the joys of repeated sex but complications arise when she begins to fall in love with an architect who is trying to restore the castle she once lived in! Abjectly painful acting and filmmaking make this an unintentional laugh riot. Even the frequent sex scenes soon become monotonous and repetitive. What’s next? An adult sex version of “The Lion King”? Continue reading →
August 3, 2017 “Go North” (*1/2 out of four) was an incomprehensible futuristic melodrama set in the distant future in which an unspecified event has caused global pandemonium resulting in chaos in which there are no adults left in the world and kids are left to fend for themselves; two such kids (Patrick Schwarzenegger and Sophie Kennedy Clark) try to stay alive and avoid being detected and killed. Movie fans should “go” rent “Lord Of The Flies” (the original or its remakes) instead of watching this pallid retread. Some nice directorial touches are lost in film’s overall tedium. Schwarzenegger is Arnold’s son but doesn’t seem to have his dad’s charisma or expansive personality. Continue reading →
August 3, 2017 “It Stains The Sands Red” (*1/2 out of four) was a lackluster zombie retread about a troubled Las Vegas girl (Brittany Allen) who finds herself stranded in the desert in the midst of a zombie apocalypse with a lone and ravenous zombie on her trail (Juan Riedinger) but is he there to hunt or help her? Yet another rip-off of both “The Walking Dead” and “Night Of The Living Dead” is alternately bizarre and boring and eventually turns into a laughable and loony love story. Vibrant cinematography by Clayton Moore is the only virtue. Continue reading →
August 3, 2017 “Clown Kill” (*1/2 out of four) was a junky horror thriller that only succeeds in killing time about a staff (Roy Basnett, Jessica Cunningham, Stephen Greenhalgh and others) locked in an office building with a sadistic clown on the loose at whom no one will be laughing. Barnum and Bailey Circus (and also “Killer Klowns From Outer Space”) had far more entertaining clowns; cheap-looking photography and some terrible dialogue provide the only scare factors here. Even at barely 80 minutes, there is still hardly enough thrills or story to sustain a feature-length movie. Continue reading →
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