December 25, 2017 “A Christmas Cruise” (*1/2 out of four) was an aimless romantic comedy badly in need of the compass of a better writer and director about an aspiring writer (Vivica A. Fox) who is spurred along by her single friend (Jessica Morris) to take a holiday-themed sail full of singles guys. Guess what happens next. Fox is beautiful and charismatic as usual but this predictable story leaves her high-and-dry. You wish she would celebrate independence day from these made-for-television movies and return to the grittier work (“Set It Off”, “Why Do Fools Fall In Love?”) that made her famous. Continue reading →
December 25, 2017 “Downsizing” (**1/2 out of four) was a pleasant but pointless social satire about a stressed-out middle class husband (Matt Damon) who realizes he would have a better financial life if and him and his wife (Kristen Wiig) shrunk themselves in a process called “downsizing” but his wife changes her mind at the last minute, leaving him abandoned and to begin exploring his new life. Director Alexander Payne tries to make many socio-economic and social points and Damon is engaging as always but the problem is there isn’t much of a point to the story as a whole. After it’s premise is established and once Damon is shrunk it really doesn’t have anywhere to go and it’s fatally overlong at over two hours. Watchable but inferior to a lot of director Payne’s previous works (“Election”, “Nebraska”). Continue reading →
December 25, 2017 “Bloody Drama” (*1/2 out of four) was a bloody mess about five former college sorority sisters (Sky Hawkes, Makayla Keck, Billonna Olivia Reyes, Katusha Robert, Cristina Cruz Rodriguez) who reunite for a weekend blowout of sex and booze but a psychotic killer is on the prowl who stalks them all one by one. Not much drama but plenty of blood in this derivative slasher flick which is a throwback to horror movies of the ’80’s when these were a lot more original and fun. Hilariously bad acting turns this into a real horror show. Continue reading →
December 25, 2017 “5 Headed Shark Attack” (**1/2 out of four) was a serviceable action thriller about the title monster who invades the calm and beautiful waters of Puerto Rico and a group of townsfolk (Chris Bruno, Nikki Howard, Lindsay Sawyer) who attempt to stop it but find this is one tough shark to destroy. As shark thrillers go, this is no “Jaws” but is one of the better of the lot over the past few years and gets better as it goes long leading to a suspenseful and entertaining climax. Superior visual effects by Steve Clarke as the 5-headed shark really does look terrifying! Continue reading →
December 25, 2017 “Kickboxer: Retaliation” (*** out of four) was a proficient sequel to the “Kickboxer” reboot about the continuing adventures of Kurt Sloane (Alan Moussi) who is forced to return to Thailand by a corrupt millionaire businessman (Christopher Lambert) and face a death-defying MMA match and has to once again turn to his former mentor (Jean Claude Van Damme) for training in what may be the fight of his life. Packed with the expected fistfights and hand-to-hand combat and makes good use of its supporting cast (including Mike Tyson in a key role) and is very well-shot on Thailand locations. No classic but is far better than any of the original “Kickboxer” movies from the ’80’s. Continue reading →
December 24, 2017 “The Wicked One” (*1/2 out of four) was a gory, one-note horror melodrama about a group of friends (Katie Stewart, Dale Miller, Jack Norman, and others) who travel on a weekend getaway and their plans are suddenly interrupted by a gruesome serial killer with an axe to grind. Plenty of gore and violence and also plenty of bad acting and dumb dialogue, and the killer’s terrible makeup and costume is no help. It’s movies like these that make the original “Friday The 13th” look more like a classic every year. Continue reading →
December 24, 2017 “Can’t Take It Back” (** out of four) was a mean-spirited and unpleasant horror story which runs nearly two hours you won’t be able to ever take back about a group of high-school students (Logan Paul, Noah Centineo, and Marnie Alexenburg) who leave hateful comments on the page of a fellow student who recently committed suicide. Or did they? Or have they come back? Reasonably well-directed and well-acted but story and characters are hard to care about and thus so is the movie. Similar in some ways to “Sorority Row” which was scarier- and better. Continue reading →
December 24, 2017December 24, 2017 “The 5th Kind” (* out of four) was the worst kind of horror movie, an umpteenth found-footage claptrap about three friends (Sean Taylor, Randall Cropp, Zech Johnson) who try to become internet-famous by filming a survival show out in the woods but a deranged redneck shows up and crashes the party. Unfortunately, neither him nor anyone else in the movie seems to have ever seen “Deliverance” or even “The Cabin In The Woods” for that matter. Practically worthless movie could have been made by anyone who had 5 bucks and a camcorder. Continue reading →
December 24, 2017 “Antihuman” (*1/2 out of four) was an anti-entertaining horror thriller about a young woman (Anya Korzun) who returns with three friends to the secluded psychological research facility where her deceased mother used to work but they all soon realize that various ghosts of the past from the facility have returned to the present which tear away at all known bounds of time, memory, and space. Or something like that. Mumbo-jumbo thriller is confusing, weird, and boring. Korzun’s sincere performance is wasted. Some laughable scenes really need to be seen to be believed but in no way is that a recommendation. Continue reading →
December 24, 2017December 24, 2017 “Mark Felt: The Man Who Brought Down The White House” (** out of four) was a curiously cool and aloof biographical drama about Mark Felt (Liam Neeson) who in 1972 went under the code-name of Deep Throat to help journalists Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein uncover the Watergate scandal that ultimately led to President Nixon leaving the White House. Fascinating story of how one man ultimately led to the toppling of power and corruption is never as compelling or crackling as it should have been and never cuts loose. Neeson, however, is outstanding as usual and is surrounded by a first-rate supporting cast including Diane Lane and Josh Lucas. Same story was told much mesmerically in 1978’s “All The President’s Men.” Continue reading →
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