July 30, 2018 “Hello I Love You” (*1/2 out of four) was a sorry romantic comedy about a smug reality television yuppie (Ben Jarvis) who meets a beautiful veterinary student (Kabrina Miller) and starts to date her as part of a new reality show which he has pitched but complications (and contrivances) begin when he actually begins to fall for her. Artificial and overlong comedy is in dire need of some snap and drive, not to mention laughs. Say “goodbye” to this clunker and watch “Notting Hill” again instead. Continue reading →
July 30, 2018 “Love After Love” (** out of four) was a moody but meandering melodrama about two very different sons (Chris O’Dowd and James Adomian) and the different paths of grief and survival they encounter when their father recently dies and their mother (Andie Macdowell) attempts to move on with her life. Hazy and aloof movie is given a boost by Macdowell who is ageless and engaging as usual but neither son is likeable and thus neither is worth following or caring about. Writer-director Russell Harbaugh shows some promise in his debut and harks back to early Woody Allen and Robert Altman but this stops short of hitting the mark. Continue reading →
July 29, 2018 “Return Of The Scarecrow” (* out of four) was a scareless bore about a group of young misfits and bad actors (Jason Brenner, Scott Baisden, Rebecca Bettig, and others) on a camping trip in the middle-of-nowhere in which a group of redneck hillbillies play a prank that goes wrong and results in the awakening of the legendary scarecrow who enacts bloodthirsty revenge. Throwback to ’80’s teen horror pics is a complete throwaway and makes you remember why horror movies died in the first place when the ’80’s were over. Pretty grueling, even at only about 75 minutes. Continue reading →
July 29, 2018 “No Good Heroes” (*1/2 out of four) was no good movie about a stranded group of aliens who exist in a peaceful Midwestern town and come out of hiding after nearly 30 years and the local police chief (Tim O’Leary) who has protected them has to take action and protect his family and protect his town. Both “The X Files” and “The Twilight Zone” used to tell almost the same story in about a half-hour but it takes this aimless dud about an hour-and-a-half and it still goes nowhere. Even the final climax is a fizzle. Continue reading →
July 29, 2018July 29, 2018 “Sunset Society” (* out of four) was an anemic vampire horror thriller without any horror or thrills about a secret cult of vampires (led by Lemmy Von Kilmeister filmed before his death) who prey upon the swell folks on the sunset strip in Los Angeles. G’N’R keyboardist Dizzy Reed and porn star Ron Jeremy play supporting players who figure in the action and gore. Too bad none of them can act. This marked Kilmeister’s farewell screen appearance but his cameo in “Airheads” served him much better. Motorhead song titles “No Class”, “Overkill”, and (especially) “Don’t Waste Your Time” suggest one’s reaction to this mess. Continue reading →
July 29, 2018 “The Devil And Father Amorth” (** out of four) was a pointless documentary starring and directed by William Friedkin about a real-life exorcism performed by Father Gabriele Amorth on an Italian woman who has supposedly been overtaken by the devil. Director Friedkin attempts to rekindle memories of his early masterwork “The Exorcist” and offers some intelligent commentary and some interesting views and questions on religion and medical prowess. At its heart, though, the film is a standard-issue exorcism story that’s unfortunately not as scary or compelling as it would have been in 1973. Thank the heavens though that film is only a little over an hour long. Continue reading →
July 28, 2018 “Extinction” (** out of four) was a well-made but obvious, derivative Netflix sci/fi thriller about a father (Michael Pena) who has frightening visions of the future which soon become a reality as Earth is under attack and it’s apocalypse now and him and his wife and daughter (Lizzy Kaplan and Lilly Aspell) have to fight for safety against aliens and (naturally) a military government coverup. Pena and Kaplan do what they can with a predictable script which reheats old plot points from “Skyline”, “Cloverfield”, “Independence Day”, and just about every other sci/fi movie over the last two decades. Striking cinematography by Pedro Luque is a definite plus. Continue reading →
July 28, 2018 “Narco Hitman” (* out of four) was a lethally dull action thriller about a contract killer (David S. Hogan) out for revenge against a ruthless drug cartel and a determined small-town sherriff (Angela DiMarco) attempts to sort out a mystery involving all of them before it’s too late. Promising opening scene involving a shootout in a bar soon goes nowhere as film becomes talky and boring and eventually slows to a halt. Hogan is terrible in the lead role and makes one yearn for the complex cinematic interpretations of Steven Seagal or Luke Goss by comparison. Continue reading →
July 28, 2018 “Silencer” (*1/2 out of four) was a boring action thriller that fires all blanks about a retired hitman (Johnny Messner) who is called back into action when his former employer (Danny Trejo and Robert Lasardo) threaten him and his family which leads to an all-out war along the Mexican border. Molasses-moving movie just about cries out for Sam Peckinpah in his prime. Trejo can play this role in his sleep by now (and often does) and Messner practically seems asleep in his lifeless performance. Continue reading →
July 28, 2018 “The Row” (*1/2 out of four) was a lame horror thriller about a young freshman (Lexi Atkins) trying to get into a sorority but discovers numerous not-so-terrifying secrets about the house for which she’s pledging after a series of gruesome murders occur on campus. Lots of booze and party scenes but little else to recommend this by-the-numbers timewaster. Former UFC champion and wrestler Randy Couture has a key role as Atkins’ dad but he should have fought and kicked the writer and director of this instead. Watch “Sorority Row” again instead. Continue reading →
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