August 17, 2018 “Babysitter’s Nightmare” (** out of four) was a glossy but generic thriller about a registered nurse (Brittany Underwood) who is let go from her job due to negligence and takes a new job as a babysitter at a wealthy estate but soon find herself in danger when a murderer is on the prowl. Well-shot and reasonably well-acted but plot twists and complications are predicatable and thus film has few surprises. Watch “When A Stranger Calls” (either the original or the remake) for virtually the same story with a lot more scares and conviction. Continue reading →
August 16, 2018 “Boar” (* out of four) was an utterly stupid time-waster set in the Australian outback about a wild boar who roams the countryside and kills anything in its path and various tourists and countrymen (Nathan Jones, Bill Moseley, John Jarratt, and others) who have the misfortune of getting in its way. Even the beautiful Australian scenery is drably shot and horror B-stars Mosely and Jarratt are wasted. “Bore” would have been a better title for this turkey. Continue reading →
August 15, 2018 “Poor Boy” (*1/2 out of four) was a poor excuse for a film about two redneck retard brothers (Lou Taylor Pucci and Dov Tiefenbach) who hustle and engage in criminal behavior to stay afloat and in an effort to escape their middle-of-nowhere life, they hatch their most daring heist yet but don’t realize the changes this will impact on them and their surroundings. Unpleasant and uninvolving from beginning to end. Tribeca Film Festival cited this as one of the best films of the year but they must have had something else on their minds. If you must watch, try and see if you can make sense of Michael Shannon’s bewildering role as a clown (and as film’s narrator). Continue reading →
August 14, 2018 “Patient Zero” (** out of four) was a sub-routine action thriller set in yet another futuristic wasteland in which a global pandemic virus has turned humankind into infected beings and one survivor (Matt Smith) who has the ability to speak their language attempts to lead the survivors in an attempt to find the title patient who may have the cure. By the standards of these “Resident Evil”/”28 Days Later”/”Walking Dead” rip-offs, this isn’t bad and moves fast and has some inventive directorial touches, but you’ve seen it all before and done better. Unoriginality itself has become the real virus in horror movies by now. Stanley Tucci has a bit role as one of the infected. Continue reading →
August 14, 2018 “Hostage X” (** out of four) was a mildly engrossing thriller about a man (Jeremy London) who awakens kidnapped in some foreign country with no memory of who he is but has to remember in a hurry or his kidnappers will kill him while a man he is on the phone with struggles to uncover his identity and get him help. Modestly made and thus yielding modest results but directed and acted with palpable tension until a queasy plot twist in the final third really negates London’s likeability and film’s ending is pointlessly obscure. Continue reading →
August 13, 2018 “Collider” (*1/2 out of four) was a drab futuristic melodrama set in the year 2033 in which a young girl (Christine Mascolo) trapped in a repressive orphanage travels back in time to find her parents and attempt to discover secrets from her past and subsequently amend her future. “Back To The Future” told virtually the same story over 30 years ago and had more laughs, more style, and even more scares than this junk. One more reason that movie is held up as a masterpiece. The future just ain’t what it used to be. Continue reading →
August 12, 2018 “Along Came The Devil” (*1/2 out of four) was a howlingly solemn exorcism/religious/satan horror hodgepodge about a girl (Sydney Sweeney) who searches for answers about her troubled childhood and unknowingly invites in a demonic force which causes her family to turn to a troubled priest (Bruce Davison) to try and exorcise her and restore her sanity. Latest in an endless cycle of paranormal exorcism movies but this one rips off “The Exorcist” so much that the filmmakers should be condemned to Hell! Continue reading →
August 12, 2018 “Slender Man” (** out of four) was a thin horror thriller (no pun intended) set in a small town in Massachusetts in which a group of friends (Joey King, Julia Gondani Telles, Jaz Sinclair and others) set out to prove that an internet horror phenomenon known as Slender Man doesn’t exist until one of them goes missing and they start to realize there may be more to his legend than meets the eye. Well-made and well-acted horror story has just one main problem: it isn’t very scary. The more we learn about the title character, the hokier he seems (and movie gets). Based on an actual 2008 internet meme by Victor Surge which is where it should have stayed. Continue reading →
August 12, 2018 “Action Point” (*1/2 out of four) was a lackluster comedy about a jackass (Johnny Knoxville) who designs and operates his own redneck amusement park which is suddenly threatened with foreclosure. Potentially funny vehicle for Knoxville has muffed opportunities and gags left and right and falls flat repeatedly. Even Knoxville in old makeup at opening and closing (bringing back memories of “Bad Grandpa”) fails to garner a chuckle. Continue reading →
August 11, 2018 “Hotel Artemis” (*1/2 out of four) was a bizarre, empty futuristic melodrama set almost entirely within a building in Los Angeles in which a renegade nurse (Jodie Foster) runs a private emergency room for criminals only. Don’t look for more plot than that or much of a point. Director Drew Pearce throws enough striking visuals and stylistics to keep you watching for a while but it soon dawns on you that there’s no story and thus nothing to really care about. Interesting performance from Foster is left high-and-dry. Jeff Goldblum and Zachary Quinto are wasted in throwaway supporting roles. Continue reading →
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