December 24, 2018 “Secret Santa” (* out of four) was a perfectly dreadful horror melodrama about a family of whiners and complainers (Michael Rady, Drew Lynch, Debra Sullivan, and others) who gather for a Christmas celebration and soon find that their holiday punch has been spiked with a lethal drug that turns them all against one another involving deceit and murder. But since none of them are particularly likeable in the first place, it hardly matters and you may wish the punch was spiked with cyanide instead. Christmas-themed horror dreck like this is enough to turn anyone into a Scrooge. Unwatchable movies like these make the original “Silent Night, Deadly Night” look like “Casablanca” by comparison. Continue reading →
December 23, 2018 “Catskill Park” (*1/2 out of four) was an umpteenth found-footage horror movie about a group of friends (Lauren Francesca, Wen Yann Shih, Katelyn Pearce, and others) who go on a camping trip in the tile park where they are suddenly besieged by 36 inches of snow and various alien rumblings that soon have them on the run for their lives. Yet another found-footage movie in which the footage should have remained lost. Relentlessly shaky hand-held camera movements may cause you to reach for the dramamine and annoying characters and performances will cause you even more to reach for the off button. Can’t somebody make a good horror movie set in upstate NY? Continue reading →
December 23, 2018 “Smoke Screen” (*1/2 out of four) was a sleazy, derivative underworld melodrama about a botched assassination of the U.S. Attorney General which leads its perpetrators into hiding which leads to a war breaking out amongst various criminal factions (Dechen Thurman, Aesha Waks, Camrus Johnson, and others). Writer/director/star Sean Buttimer obviously watched “Mean Streets” several times before this but neither the characters, performances, or storytelling are as passionate or rich as that better-than-ever 1973 masterpiece. Co-star Thurman is Uma’s brother Continue reading →
December 23, 2018 “Why Hide?” (*1/2 out of four) was a by-the-numbers bloodbath about a group of friends (Charlotte Atkinson, Elsie Bennett, Lorna Brown, and others) who gather for the Christmas holidays in a remote lodge on the English countryside where things soon go awry and they all start getting murdered one by one. Movies like these make you realize more and more how much the original “Halloween” and “Friday The 13th” were works of art by comparison. Striking cinematography by James Cook is the only asset here. “Why Watch?” would be a better title for this time-waster. Continue reading →
December 23, 2018 “Bumblebee” (** out of four) was a middling spin-off of “The Transformers” series set in the ’80’s about a girl (Hailee Steinfeld) who on the eve of turning 18 discovers the battle-scarred and broken Bumblebee who she doesn’t realize is a transformer and this attracts the attention of a villainous military general (Jon Cena). Director Travis Knight infuses this with more heart and soul than any of Michael Bay’s noisy headaches but story gets too lumpy and it starts to go flat in its second half although it revs up again for a solid finale in which Bumblebee and the Decepticon Blitzwing battle it out. Kudos to a great soundtrack of ’80’s music and Steinfeld’s strong performance is a definite plus. Continue reading →
December 22, 2018 “Interference” (** out of four) was a muddled psychodrama about a retiring world-weary detective (Bruce Thomas) who tries to discover the identity of a charred woman who is found in front of the boat of the District Attorney (Cayleb Long) who is pursuing a child serial killer. Half-baked and half-hearted ideas and characterizations borrowed from dozens of other cop and lawyer dramas but is given a marginal boost by Thomas who adds some spice and style. Inauspicious directing debut for noted sound effects editor Linda Di Franco. Continue reading →
December 22, 2018 “Shadow Fighter” (*1/2 out of four) was a drably derivative and routine underworld melodrama about an inner-city kid from the wrong side of the tracks (Omar Brunson) who forms an unlikely bond with a homeless ex-boxer (Steve Daron) and they form a mutual alliance to thwart a local thug (Michael Christopher Rodney) who holds a key link to both of their pasts. Film feels like warmed-over remnants of “Rocky” which covered this same territory far much richly and passionately over 40 years ago. Of interest solely for being the penultimate film for legendary Burt Reynolds, even though he appears in flashbacks and is in the film very briefly. For a more knockout crowning of his career, watch “The Last Movie Star” instead. Continue reading →
December 22, 2018 “Spinning Man” (***1/2 out of four) was an enchantingly engrossing murder mystery told in layers and flashbacks as a young woman goes missing and all clues begin to point to the local college professor (Guy Pierce) who is investigated by a hard-nosed police detective (Pierce Brosnan) and even his wife (MInnie Driver) and children begin to suspect his involvement and guilt. But is there more than meets the eye? One of the rare and few contemporary films that invites comparisons to Hitchcock and keeps you guessing with each scene and clue as the plot and script keep turning like a Rubik’s cube that you can’t take your hands or eyes off. Exceptionally well-directed and well-told by Simon Kaijser in (incredibly) his English-language debut and perfected by a superb cast including Pierce, Brosnan, and Driver in their best roles in years. Bullseye! Continue reading →
December 21, 2018 “Nemesis 5: The New Model” (*1/2 out of four) was an inherently derivative and junky futuristic action melodrama set in the year 2077 in which a terrorist organization called The Red Army Hammerheads now dominate the Earth and the fate of mankind as we know it rests in the hands of a new Nemesis model (Schuyler Craig) who must form an army of cyborg humans to destroy the organization and save Earth. Fifth entry in this wearisome series which began all the way back in 1993 is also the first entry in 21 years but this series hasn’t exactly aged like fine wine. This makes the original look like “Blade Runner” or “Robocop” by comparison. Continue reading →
December 21, 2018 “Little Women” (** out of four) is an anachronistic adaptation of Louisa May Alcott’s classic 1868 novel updated to modern times about four women (Sarah Davenport, Allie Jennings, Melanie Stone, Taylor Murphy) and their growing up from childhood to adulthood and their unbreakable bond that holds them together even through turmoil and tragedy. Seventh version of this story (another one is on the way next year) is perfectly watchable but lacks any emotional resonance or nuance and ends up pretty forgettable. Lea Thompson is wasted as the girl’s mother. Davenport fares best as the determined Jo. Continue reading →
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