July 20, 2019 “Above The Shadows” (** out of four) was a pretty blah melodrama about a young woman (Olivia Thirlby) who realizes from childhood she has a problem with gradually becoming invisible to others and she subsequently finds as she gets older that only one man (Alan Ritchson), who is coincidentally a faded MMA fighter, can see her and thus- save her and in turn save himself. Very corny story is helped by the sincere performances of its two leads but it becomes awfully tough to take, especially as it’s stretched out to nearly two hours. Megan Fox is given top-billing here but she only appears in one scene at the very end! Continue reading →
July 19, 2019 “The Wrong Patient” (*1/2 out of four) was a plodding, predictable thriller about a successful plastic surgeon (Sunny Mabrey) who meets a narcissistic (and psychotic) patient (Lindsay Maxwell) who gradually becomes obsessed with her and is intent on turning her and her family’s life upside down. Anyone who can’t predict this story within the first 20 minutes needs to get a new hobby. There’s really not much you can say about a thriller that asks you to get excited at the prospect of plastic surgery. “The Wrong Movie” would have been a better title for this timewaster. Continue reading →
July 19, 2019 “The Lion King” (***1/2 out of four) was a sweeping remake of Disney’s 1994 blockbuster original about a young lion prince named Simba (voice of Donald Glover) who has to flee his kingdom after the murder of his father and has to learn the importance of forgiveness and bravery before he returns to the kingdom to reclaim his place as king from his villainous uncle Scar (voice of Chiwetel Ejiofor). Director Jon Favreau does a majestic job of retelling the story from the original which is every bit as moving, exciting, and humorous as it was in the summer of 1994 and features some showstopping visuals and effects. Kudos also for getting back original Mufasa voice James Earl Jones! By far- the best of Disney’s live-action remakes! Hakuna matata! Continue reading →
July 18, 2019 “They’re Inside” (*1/2 out of four) was a gruesome horror show in which two sisters (Karli Hall and Amanda Kathleen Ward) go to a cabin in the woods to put together a homemade film when two masked strangers show up and attempt to film them being tortured and killed. Hard to believe that two new horror movies in the same week could rip-off the same movie (“The Strangers”) but seeing is unfortunately believing. Film doesn’t so much end as stop but believe me no one will be complaining. Continue reading →
July 17, 2019 “Captain Black” (*1/2 out of four) was a leaden comic-book melodrama about a middle-aged restaurant manager (Jeffrey Johnson who also wrote and directed) who develops a late-period interest in comic books and begins to assume the role of the title character but this leads to him getting into a relationship with a younger girl (Georgia Norman) with consequences he never imagined. Potentially fun story of a regular everybody becoming a superhero is undone by dumb script and story, which takes some very bizarre turns after its beginning and becomes a hollow and moralistic drama instead. Johnson tries in the lead but shows a much steadier hand at acting than his writing or direction. Continue reading →
July 17, 2019 “Return To Horror Hotel” (*1/2 out of four) was a chintzy sequel to a movie that not many were exactly crying out for a sequel to returning to the same hotel for 4 separate stories about killer bedbugs, a WWII sailor who hasn’t aged, a mysterious magical charm that turns girls beautiful, and another about a severed hand that starts terrorizing others. Performances range from perfunctory to embarrassing and none of the stories have any scares or suspense. Yet another horror movie anthology story that makes you realize how great “Tales From The Darkside” and “Creepshow” were all those years ago. Re-watch those classics and don’t bother checking into this “hotel.” Continue reading →
July 16, 2019 “Trespassers” (*1/2 out of four) was an utterly routine and derivative horror thriller about two bickering couples (Angela Trimbur, Jonathan Howard, Janel Parrish, and Zach Avery) who rent a luxury desert home for the weekend and are hoping to have some fun when a deranged stranger shows up at their door in the middle of the night which leads to a bloodbath and a night of surprises. However, there won’t be too many surprises for anyone who has seen “The Strangers” or “Vacancy” or even “Us” which this movie liberally rips off. Good-looking cinematography (by Noah Rosenthal) is film’s only asset. Fairuza Balk has a minor cameo but she would have been better off counting her “Craft” royalties instead. Continue reading →
July 15, 2019 “2177: The San Francisco Love Hacker Crimes” (*1/2 out of four) was an abysmal futuristic thriller set in 2177 San Francisco in which a man (Sean Patrick Flannery) wakes up with no memories of who he is after a murder attempt and is forced to take it on the run with his assassin (Barbi Okeefe) while his wife who is a cop (Dominique Swain) scrambles around to try to find him and sort out what is going on. Incoherent pastiche of “Total Recall”, “Blade Runner”, “Dark City”, and just about every other futuristic sci/fi movie you can think of. Jammed with cheesy CGI effects that make this feel more like a CD-ROM than an actual movie. At this point, the future just ain’t what it used to be. Continue reading →
July 15, 2019 “She’s Missing” (*1/2 out of four) was a muddled, tedious drama about a girl (Lucy Fry) who goes on a search across the desert once her best friend (Eiza Gonzalez) goes missing and she soon digs up various secrets about her friend and also herself which she never knew existed as her life is at a personal and philosophical crossroads. Film attempts the woozy and dream-like stylizations of David Lynch and Oliver Stone but comes closer to Larry Clark instead, as film itself is “missing” any fire, life, or excitement. A few effective moments fail to enliven this head-scratching film. Continue reading →
July 15, 2019 “Avalance” (*1/2 out of four) was a dismal romantic comedy about a librarian (Gideon Emery) and his wife (Autumn Withers) and her lover (Stelio Savante) who all become trapped in a house together where they are forced to come to terms with one another and work out their zany relationships together but they soon find it’s a full house for sure. You know you’re in trouble when you’re watching a three-character story and not one of the characters is likeable! As contrived as it is dumb, and desperately unfunny. Gideon and Withers are actually married in real life which makes their lack of chemistry together even more hard to fathom. Continue reading →
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