Month: September 2019

“The Corrupted” (**1/2 out of four) was a fast-paced if overly derivative action thriller set after the 2012 Olympics in which an ex-con (Sam Claflin) tries to win back the love and trust of his family while doing battle with a local crime boss (Timothy Spall) who destroyed his life and this leads to him getting caught back up in a serpentine web of deceit, deception, and corruption. Pretty much a cocktail blender of Guy Ritchie and any other movie you’ve seen about British crime although the buzz is somewhat fun while it lasts. Spall fares best as a Mr. Big with police and political connections.

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“Riot Girls” (** out of four) was an awkwardly done thriller set in an alternate 1995 in which two gangs (Madison Iseman, Jenny Raven, and others) are pitted against one another in a war for territory, resources, and survival after a mysterious disease has killed all of the adults leaving only the young to roam the wasteland. Mostly a collection of ideas done before and done better in other movies although it’s fast-moving enough to be watchable. Perhaps it’s time to stop these futuristic melodramas because the future just ain’t what it used to be.

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“The Wrong Cheerleader” (*1/2 out of four) was a wrongly plotted thriller about a cheerleader (Cristine Prosperi) who meets a handsome new student (David Meza) who turns out to be a wrong sicko who will stop at nothing to ensure they are a couple even if it involves killing a few of her friends and classmates. Tired and predictable story is made for those who have simply never heard or watched “Fatal Attraction”. Vivica Fox pops up in a key role as a cheerleader squad leader. Has her career gone wrong or is she simply obligated to appear in these routine thrillers which carry “Wrong” in its title?

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“Haunted” (** out of four) was a sub-routine horror show made out of spare parts of “Saw” and “The Haunting” about a group of friends (Katie Stevens, Will Brittain, Lauryn Alisa McClain, and others) on Halloween who go to a haunted house which turns out to be a torture chamber of Rube Goldberg devices and fancy equipment and only the most strong-willed of them all will survive. Good looking cinematography by Ryan Samul is a highlight throughout and there are some striking individual moments but there’s a reason the “Saw” series (and the torture-porn genre in general) came to an end. Even at only an hour-and-a-half, a little of this goes a long way.

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“Gags The Clown” (** out of four) was a disposable horror thriller set in Green Bay, Wisconsin in which the title unidentified man (Eric Heuvelman) roams the streets stirring up an online phenomenon on social media and in the press in which many debate whether it is a harmless prank or he is actually a sociopathic nutjob. More intelligent and satiric than you might expect for this kind of thing and writer-director Adam Krause does show some flashes of macabre humor but not enough to sustain a full-length film. Better-than-average but it wears out after a while.

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“The Furies” (** out of four) was a heavy-handed horror thriller about a group of women (Airlie Dodds, Linda Ngo, and Taylor Ferguson) who are mauled and pursued to the death by a group of mutant backwoods rednecks which they subsequently learn is part of a deadly version of the most dangerous game. Seems directly inspired by “Wrong Turn” which in turn was directly lifted from “Deliverance” and “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” except this throws in unnecessary and pretentious elements of alternate reality and role-playing. Not the worst of its kind and does have some creative kills but far from groundbreaking.

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“Hellmington” (** out of four) was a cold-hearted melodrama about a weary detective (Nicole Correia-Demude) whose father recently died and she investigates his last words which involved the name of a girl who has been missing for 9 years while her ambiguous uncle (Michael Ironside) watches over her from the sidelines. Good performances and filmmaking hold your attention for a while but can only do so much with this unpleasant story, and film’s ending is a serious letdown. We all have to pay the bills but can’t Ironside play a different type of role for once?

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“Stained” (*1/2 out of four) was a wretched action melodrama which turns out to actually be a modern-day retelling of “Macbeth” about two criminals named John and Jane Macbeth (Edward Gusts and Arielle Brachfield) who scheme to rise to the top of their criminal element at all costs but soon find that the personal nature of those costs are more than they imagined. Attempt at re-telling Shakespeare in the modern day probably looked good on paper but doesn’t translate to film. After a while, you’ll likely be numbed by all the sleaze.

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“Witnesses” (* out of four) was a stupefyingly awful horror thriller about two moronic film-school students (Jesse Howland and Connor Floyd) who decide to shoot their student film in an abandoned warehouse in which they soon find out that a ruthless drug cartel is utilizing this same warehouse for murders and trafficking sex slaves. Floyd’s obnoxious character (and performance) completely sinks this although the film does marginally improve once they get to the warehouse and are pursued. Relentlessly shaky and irritating camera movements may cause you to reach for dramamine.

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“Christmas Break-In” (** out of four) was a silly children’s romp about a precocious 9-year old (Cameron Seely) whose parents can’t pick her up on time at school for Christmas break in the midst of an overwhelming blizzard so it is up to her to save the day when a pair of bumbling crooks (Katrina Begin and Sean O’Bryan) break into the school and kidnap the kindly school janitor (Danny Glover). The kind of children’s movie which gives the word contrivance a bad name but young girls may like it anyway. Glover and Seely try to inject as much charm as they can but suffice to say this is no “Home Alone.”

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