September 5, 2019 “The Utah Cabin Murders” (*1/2 out of four) was a brutally unpleasant rip-off of “The Strangers” about two sisters (Tiffany Ceri and Jennifer Anderson) who go to a cabin in Utah and are immediately terrorized by two masked psychos who watched “Deliverance” once too many times. No suspense and instead supplies endless blood and fake shocks, in the place of moviemaking skill. Would it kill horror filmmakers to come up with some new ideas once in a while? Continue reading →
September 5, 2019 “Clownado” (* out of four) was an embarrassingly awful horror show about a series of cursed circus clowns who set out on a trek through the Southwest using tornadoes to torment and torture others and a stripper, an Elvis impersonator, a truck driver (John O’Hara, Rachel Lagen, Bobby Westrick), and other swell folks all get caught in their path. Numbingly awful film looks like someone’s bad home movies and some of the terrible acting really needs to be seen to be believed. This makes “Killer Klowns From Outer Space” look like “Lawrence Of Arabia” by comparison. Continue reading →
September 4, 2019 “Ready Or Not” (** out of four) was a tiresome horror show about a bride (Samara Weaving) whose wedding night turns into a literal Hell when her eccentric new in-laws (Henry Czerny and Andie Macdowell) force her to take part in a horror game which she has to fight to the death to stay alive. Holds your attention for a little while but eventually wears out, as it becomes unpleasant and ugly. Nice to see Czerny again but both him and his Macdowell are mostly wasted here. Both of them seem “ready” for a comeback by now but this ain’t it. Continue reading →
September 3, 2019 “Santa Girl” (** out of four) was a cloying confection about a high-school girl (Jennifer Stone) who is actually the daughter of Santa Claus (Barry Bostwick) and wants to experience being an ordinary girl before she marries the son of Jack Frost and takes over the family business and things get complicated when she falls in love with a classmate (Devon Werkheiser). Engaging performances do what they can with a silly script and a whopper of a story. Young girls who are the obvious target audience might like this more. Bostwick is ideally cast but disappears from the movie faster than anyone can say shock treatment Continue reading →
September 3, 2019 “Blood And Truth” (* out of four) was a simply unwatchable experimental action movie in which the viewer interactively plays as a special forces solider named Ryan (voice of Felix Scott) who is trying to stay alive after a London heist and doesn’t know who to trust and encounters treachery at every turn. All this probably makes this seem more original and exciting than it plays out, however. This incoherent mess is the first- and hopefully the last- of its kind. Viewers eager for the interactive thrills of video games should hook up their Nintendo Classics or XBox instead. Continue reading →
September 2, 2019 “Angel Of Mine” (*** out of four) was a powerful drama about a lonely middle-aged woman (Noomi Rapace) grieving over the death of her daughter who begins losing her grip on reality when she starts to suspect that the child of a new couple (Luke Evans and Yvonne Stravhovski) she meets may really be her daughter. Is she crazy or is there something to this premonition? Vibrant acting from all (especially Rapace) and Hitchcockian storytelling make this a must-see. Takes a little time getting going but emerges a grabber. This is a remake of 2008’s “Mark Of An Angel.” Continue reading →
September 2, 2019 “Status Pending” (* out of four) was an ultra-dumb comedy about a millenial (Ivana Palezevic) who hooks up with an oddball (Ben Zolno) she meets on Tinder and has to decide whether to settle down with him or keep looking and start a life with someone else. Unbearable two-character story in which neither character is likeable or the least bit funny. Co-star/writer/director Zolno bears most of the blame for this misfire; his talent status is still pending. Continue reading →
September 2, 2019 “Spider In The Web” (*1/2 out of four) was a drably done thriller about a young government operative (Itay Tiran) who is sent on a mission to follow an older Israeli agent (Ben Kingsley) whose behavior has come into question and he has to decide whether to follow him or will this endanger his government and his country and thus his safety. Intriguing ideas lead absolutely nowhere, as film soon sputters to a halt and deadens midway through. Kingsley is solid as usual but he’s played this role before (and better) in so many other movies. Monica Bellucci is wasted in a throwaway supporting role. Continue reading →
September 2, 2019 “Itsy Bitsy” (*1/2 out of four) was a pretty bland horror story about a family (Elizabeth Roberts, Arman Darbo, Chloe Perrin) who move into their father’s (Bruce Davison) secluded mansion to take care of him and are unaware there is a giant and deadly spider on the prowl but it takes them a long while to figure that out. Final third finally delivers some scares and style but it takes forever to get going and is utterly predictable. Based on old poem “Itsy Bitsy Spider” but seems more like a remake of “Arachnophobia” which was longer but quicker and scarier. Continue reading →
September 2, 2019 “Don’t Let Go” (*** out of four) was a nerve-wracking thriller in which a cop’s (David Oyelowo) family is murdered but he soon begins getting phone calls from his deceased niece (Storm Reid)! Is he going crazy or is this real and can he help solve (and thus prevent) her murder? Breathless story plugs you right into the moment and keeps you on the edge-of-your-seat due to Oyelowo’s gripping performance even though the story has more than its share of holes. Mykelti Williamson is strong in a key supporting role and has probably his best role here since “Forrest Gump.” Continue reading →
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