Month: January 2020

“Grim Woods” (* out of four) was an amateurish mess about four camp counselors (Kirsten Benoit, Amanda Benoit, A.J. Brisson, and Mikey Brisson) at a remote summer camp who tell campfire stories from an ancient book of evil that (yawn) suddenly comes to life and haunts them all one by one. It’s movies like these that make you realize how much the original “Friday The 13th” really was a masterpiece by comparison. Performances aren’t bad considering film’s dime-store production but otherwise this is pretty tough going.

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“The Turning” (*1/2 out of four) was a pretty awful horror show which most horror fans will want to turn off about a young governess (Mackenzie Davis) who is hired by a man to look after his young nephew and niece (Finn Wolfhard and Brooklyn Prince) on his estate but naturally- all is not what it appears. Davis tries but is defeated by lack of scares and a ridiculous and incoherent ending. Based on Henry James’ “The Turn Of The Screw” but this screws the audience instead. The kind of movie that opens in January.

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“Speed Of Life” (*1/2 out of four) was an incomprehensible melodrama about the death of the late musician David Bowie and how this causes a rippling effect in one family (Ann Dowd, Kimball Farley, and others) and their happiness and relations with one another. Audiences who want to get a greater appreciation of The Thin White Duke would be better off watching “Labyrinth”, “The Hunger”, or “Absolute Beginners”; Bowie song titles like “Cracked Actor”, “Look Back In Anger”, and “The Last Thing You Should Do” may describe your reactions to this mess.

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“Color Out Of Space” (*1/2 out of four) was an outlandish sci/fi saga about a meteorite which catastrophically strikes a small-town and wreaks havoc amongst a farmland family (Nicolas Cage, Joely Richardson, and others) and soon threatens to (yawn) destroy mankind. Absurd adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft’s story actually owes a lot more to the 1987 long-forgotten horror thriller “The Curse” and also “Invasion Of The Body Snatchers.” Some impressive special effects in film’s finale are film’s only real asset. Director Richard Stanley tries for some grandeur at film’s ending but the preceding two hours simply don’t merit it.

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“Seberg” (**1/2 out of four) was an intermittently intriguing melodrama set in the late 1960’s based on the true story of French new wave icon Jean Seberg (Kristin Stewart) and her politcal/romantic/personal relationship with civil rights activist Hakim Jamal (Anthony Mackie) and the firestorm of consequences this led to for all involved. Strong performances from Mackie and Stewart and good storytelling keep you involved for a while but after a while- there’s a certain fire and passion that’s missing which makes the end result respectable but yet aloof.

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“Bad Boys For Life” (*** out of four) was a slickly done third entry in the action series about the two cops (Will Smith and Martin Lawrence) who are contemplating retirement when two ruthless villains (Jacob Scipio and Kate del Castillo) with ties to Smith’s past emerge and threaten to kill them both. Directors Adil Arbi and Billal Fallah take over the reins from Michael Bay but give fans pretty much everything they expect from the series with lots of action and some funny dialogue. Most importantly, Smith and Lawrence still have good chemistry and make a fun team so maybe it’s not quite time for retirement yet.

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“Sorry We Missed You” (**1/2 out of four) was an earnest but meandering story set in England in which a UK delivery driver (Kris Hitchen) and his wife (Debby Honeywood) struggle to raise a family and survive but end up overwhelmed by the various struggles of labor exploitation and raising a delinquent son (Rhys Stone) and trying to stay afloat through it all. Director Ken Loach employs his usual working-class and humanistic touch to characters who are simply trying to survive and no know other way of life but story wanders too much and film doesn’t so much end as stop. Naturalistic and powerful acting from all (especially Honeywood) makes this worthwhile.

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“Dolittle” (*** out of four) was a likeable reboot of the “Doctor Dolittle” franchise this time with Robert Downey, Jr. in the title role who has turned into a hermit after the death of his wife in England but when Queen Victoria (Jessie Buckley) falls ill- he must re-discover his sense of adventure and love of animals to set sail and find a cure to save her. Not a total success but still breezy and engaging and full of cute animals and their wisecracks. Downey is a little miscast but does what he can with his role and his English accent. Emma Thompson, Rami Malek, Octavia Spencer, Tom Holland, and others provide the entertaining voices of the animals.

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“Stalked” (** out of four) was a tiresome horror thriller about a young woman (Nathalie Buscombe) who wakes up in a deserted factory where she realizes she is being terrorized by an invisible force which she has to out-think and out-smart if she wants to stay alive. Buscombe does what she can with her role and there are some good moments but a little of this goes a long way, as film starts to wear out and become unpleasant. Actually rips off “Saw” in a few scenes among a few others.

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“Grand Isle” (*1/2 out of four) was a leaden Southern Gothic melodrama about a handyman (Luke Benward) who is arrested for murder and has to prove his innocence by recounting what happened the night of his arrest involving a bizarre family (Nicholas Cage and Kadee Strickland) who he was working for. Director Stephen Campanelli infuses this with a heavy atmosphere but everything else about it is heavy as well, including Cage who more-or-less is playing the same character he did in “Con Air.” For a richer and more striking look at similar characters, watch 1987’s “Angel Heart” instead.

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