March 31, 2020 “Today You Die” (*1/2 out of four) was a mindless and forgettable action thriller about an ex-thief (Steven Seagal mumbling as usual) who gets railroaded and locked up and joins forces with a master criminal (Treach from Naughty By Nature) to escape and enact retribution on those who wronged them both. Routine fight scenes combined with Seagal’s typical wooden acting make this a subpar rental. Treach isn’t bad but it wouldn’t kill him to start playing a different role in future movies. It’s junk like this that made Seagal’s career “die” in the first place. Continue reading →
March 30, 2020 “Don’t Let Them In” (*1/2 out of four) was a joyless horror show about two social-service agents (Michelle Luther and Aidan O’Neill) who follow an investigation to an abandoned hotel where they are suddenly besieged by masked intruders who are trying to kill everyone. Cheap production values and ugly photography negate both Luther and O’Neill’s good performances and camaraderie together. Both “Vacancy” and “The Purge” told similar stories with far more style and scares. “Don’t Watch” would be a more apt title for this timewaster. Continue reading →
March 29, 2020 “Revenge For Daddy” (** out of four) was an overplotted revenge thriller about a girl (Sarah Butler) who meets a new boyfriend (Clayton James) online and life seems great but soon she is suddenly framed for murder and her life is turned upside down. Could it be him or could it be a friend (Eva Hamilton) from the office who has dark secrets from the past? Both predictable and confusing with too many characters and too many revelations and character twists although it’s attractively shot and well-acted. OK for what it is and better than most thrillers of this genre if nothing else. Continue reading →
March 29, 2020 “The Warrant” (**1/2 out of four) was a not-bad Western about a determined sheriff (Neil McDonough) out to track down and apprehend a former friend (Casper Van Diem) turned outlaw with whom he served with in the Civil War but this leads to a far more extensive search and bodycount than he could have imagined. Respectfully done and reasonably well-acted but never escapes from formula for a Western. Entertaining enough for some but sorely lacking the fire and passion and thus entertainment of John Ford or Clint Eastwood and thus comes up empty. Continue reading →
March 28, 2020 “Military Wives” (*1/2 out of four) was a vapid comedy based on the true story of a group of army wives (Kristin Scott Thomas, Sharon Horgan, Emma Lowndes, and others) whose husbands went away to serve in Afghanistan and they formed a musical choir and found themselves starting up a media sensation and musical movement. Strictly for anyone who couldn’t get enough of any of the “Pitch Perfect” movies which this movie rips off often but not even the musical numbers here are particularly good or well-staged. Woefully overlong also at nearly two hours. A disappointment from director Peter Cattaneo who in 1997 directed the far more buoyant and engaging “The Full Monty.” Continue reading →
March 28, 2020 “Resistance” (***1/2 out of four) was a striking, stirring WWII melodrama based on the life of Marcel Marceau (Jesse Eisenberg) who was an aspiring mime artist who eventually joined forces with the French Jewish resistance to save the lives of 10,000 orphans from the terroristic control of Nazi Germany and one ruthless Nazi agent (Matthias Schweighofer) in particular. Full of arresting scenes that command your attention and hold you on the edge of your seat and exquisitely shot by M.I. Litten-Menz. Eisenberg’s usual one-note acting is used to ironic and strong effect here and Schweighofer is genuinely terrifying and all-too-believable in an Oscar-caliber performance. Continue reading →
March 28, 2020 “Downhill” (*1/2 out of four) was a downright awful comedy about a married couple (Julia Louis-Dreyfuss and Will Ferrell) who embark on a family vacation in the Swiss Alps and barely survive an abrupt avalanche which causes them to re-evaluate their marriage and their place in life. Both Dreyfuss and Ferrell are pleasant enough but they face an uphill battle with a paper-thin and pointless screenplay that has no insight and hardly any laughs. Swiss Alps scenery is pretty but there’s not much else to keep you entertained. A weak remake of a 2014 Swedish hit “Force Majeure.” Continue reading →
March 27, 2020 “Vivarium” (** out of four) was an unsatisfying melodrama about a yuppie couple (Jesse Eisenberg and Imogen Poots) who look at a home inside a perfectly ideal suburban neighborhood but soon find that they cannot leave and are stuck inside the labyrinthine neighborhood of which there is no escape and literally drives them insane. Director Lorcan Finnegan and cinematographer MacGregor have an amusing visual style that holds your interest for a little while but it eventually grows monotonous as you realize that the story isn’t leading anywhere. This was all-too-obviously inspired by the works of Stanley Kubrick and David Lynch but this could have a 30-minute episode of “The Twilight Zone” instead. Continue reading →
March 27, 2020 “InstaPsycho” (** out of four) was a pretty predictable teen cyberthriller about a new girl in school (Kara Royster) who is framed for murder by her cliquish best friend (Mackenzie Vega) who uses social media and online information to scheme her way to the top but the other girl attempts to turn the tables on her and prove her innocence. Not bad as far as these things go, with decent acting and film-making, but not original or surprising by any means. “Mean Girls” more-or-less told this same story (minus the murders) far more wickedly and hilarious nearly 16 years ago. Continue reading →
March 26, 2020 “Stalker’s Prey 2: A Predator’s Obsession” (*1/2 out of four) was an illogical and by-the-numbers thriller about a smarmy fisherman (Houston Stevenson) who becomes obsessed with a young girl (Julia Blanchard) he meets and then charms and kills his way into her family and no one catches on until it is too late. Yet another sequel that no one was exactly clamoring for and this one is a direct rip-off of both “Fatal Attraction” and also “A Kiss Before Dying.” Film features a few superfluous shark attack scenes but on the whole it’s pretty toothless. Continue reading →
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