March 26, 2020 “Doll House” (* out of four) was an unbelievably dull horror story about an 11-year old girl (Lxa Lynch) who is sent to a foster home with her doll and her dollhouse and then (yawn) out of nowhere a series of gruesome murders and mishaps begin to happen. Dour-looking and drably photographed and without any redeeming thrills or scares whatsoever; a real snooze. By this point, it may be time to finally end movies about killer dolls. This time-waster makes any of the “Child’s Play” sequels look like “Nightmare On Elm Street” by comparison. Continue reading →
March 25, 2020 “Cabal” (*1/2 out of four) was a chintzy action thriller about a mysterious military assassin (John Ozuna) who is hired to hunt down and eliminate a serial killer who seems to be committing murders in a forbidden forest. Passable opening soon goes nowhere as film’s cheapjack production and dumb script mitigate any potential fun or entertainment. Plenty of violence and nudity for those who want it but sorely lacking anything else in terms of coherence or plot structure. By the way, this is not an adaptation of Clive Barker’s famous novel of the same name. Continue reading →
March 24, 2020 “Ravers” (*1/2 out of four) was a tiresome sci/fi thriller not worth raving much about involving a journalist (Georgia Hirst) who attends an all-night rave party in which a contaminated energy drink turns most of the partygoers into zombies and killers. One-note movie rips off (of all movies) “From Dusk Till Dawn” and soon runs on empty although director Bernhard Pucher and cinematographer Luke Bryant try to infuse it with as much style as possible. One-time 90’s siren Natasha Henstridge shows up and is wasted in a minor supporting role. Continue reading →
March 22, 2020 “Mystify: Michael Hutchence” (*** out of four) was an unusually intimate documentary of the charismatic INXS frontman whose career soared to skyrocketing heights in the 1980’s and then crashed and burned in the 1990’s as he fell into drugs, depression, and despair which led to his suicide in 1997. Director Richard Lowenstein (who directed many of INXS’ music videos) spent over 10 years painstakingly interviewing and editing this project, which includes interviews and footage from Bono and Hutchence’s family. A definite must for INXS fans but also an interesting and downbeat look at a man damaged by fame and personal pain. Continue reading →
March 22, 2020 “Pandamonium” (* out of four) was a rabidly bad horror movie about a girl (Oriana Charles) who starts her first day at a new office when a killer is stalking the office dressed in a panda suit (hence the clever title) and she tries to stay alive and uncover who the killer really is. Amateur hour in terms of acting and filmmaking; even the killing scenes are poorly staged and this looks like it was edited with a chainsaw. “You’re Next” and “Torment” told virtually the same story about a decade ago. Continue reading →
March 22, 2020 “Human Capital” (** out of four) was a cold-hearted story about the intersection of various lives (Liev Schreiber, Marisa Tomei, Peter Sarsgaard, and others) when two of their children are involved in an accident after a party and everyone is scrambling to cover their tracks and hide from guilt. Good actors can only do so much with story and characters that are aloof. Ironically, this is a story about greed and capitalism but this is a remake of a 2013 Italian film of the same name and the only reason to remake and re-tell the same story was likely greed itself. Continue reading →
March 22, 2020 “Abstruse” (* out of four) was an unendurable action thriller about two women (Kaiti Wallen and Jessika Johnson) who become involved in an incident involving a drug dealer (Kris Reilly) at a party and one of the girls’ ex-con father (Tom Sizemore) becomes involved to settle the score. Incoherent story is full of lowlife and unpleasant characters you can’t wait to get away from. Sizemore settles all-too-well into this sleazy story but even he looks bored and hungover. Film doesn’t so much end as stop but it’s doubtful you’ll make it that far. Continue reading →
March 21, 2020 “Jurassic Thunder” (*1/2 out of four) was a slapdash sci/fi thriller about a group of redneck commandos (Heath C. Heine, Rick Haak, Jon Cotton, and more) who have to join forces with a group of weaponized dinosaurs to secure a covert desert base. Yet another umpteenth rip-off of “Jurassic Park” (as if you couldn’t guess from the title) with tacky dinosaurs and crummy visual effects but it’s also needlessly dumb. Amusing opening goes nowhere. Michael Crichton is likely turning in his grave right now. Continue reading →
March 21, 2020 “The Banker” (**1/2 out of four) was an elegant but empty melodrama set in the 1960’s in which two savvy African-American businessmen (Anthony Mackie and Samuel L. Jackson) from opposite sides of the tracks join forces and hire a white man (Nicholas Hoult) to be the head of their banking empire. Initially they’re very successful but this eventually leads to numerous financial/legal/personal consequences for all of them. Both Mackie and Jackson are strong as usual and director George Nolfi’s period and setting recreations are atmospheric but story needs a shot of adrenaline and basic plot is pretty predictable. A mixed bag but worth watching overall for its acting. Nia Long and Colm Meany also provide some additional charge in supporting roles. Continue reading →
March 20, 2020 “The Burnt Orange Heresy” (*1/2 out of four) was an utterly pointless adaptation of Charles Willeford’s novel about a desperate artist (Claes Bang) who is hired by a villanious art dealer (Mick Jagger) to steal a rare painting from a reclusive artist (Donald Sutherland) but soon becomes overwhelmed with greed and ambition as he realizes the operation is spinning out of control. Leaden story never gets off the ground and thus never involves the audience. Jagger shows some style in a very brief role; why he picked this as his first acting role in years shows that time really isn’t on his side. Continue reading →
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