September 13, 2020 “Switched” (*1/2 out of four) was an utterly bland teen comedy about a high-school outcast (Miya Horcher) who prays that her nemesis- a popular teen princess (Madeleine Byrne)- knows what it’s like to walk a day in her shoes and be bullied and her prayers her answered when they are unexpectedly switched. Engaging performances by the two girls do all they can to buoy this story but the execution is all wrong; it’s too silly when it should be sharp and biting and becomes maudlin and sentimental in the final third as the two become friends and understand one another. For a much funnier look at a similar story, watch “Vice Versa” or “Switch” instead. Continue reading →
September 12, 2020 “Parched 2: Hangry” (* out of four) was an abysmal horror show about a social media influencer (Remiara Eve) who brings her friends (Angelica Adams, Justen Chu, Steve Machita, and others) for a weekend at the lake for sex and boozing when an appetite stimulant is mistakenly dumped into the lake and turns them all into ravenous killers. Yet another horror sequel that virtually no one was asking for although it’s a worthy sequel in that it’s just as awful as the original. Hard to tell which is more annoying- the nonstop whining characters or the irritating handheld camera movements but it’s a scoreless tie. This is unlikely to make anyone “hangry” for part 3 Continue reading →
September 12, 2020 “Range Runners” (** out of four) was a thoroughly predictable suspense melodrama about an athletic woman (Celeste M. Cooper) hiking along on an isolated trail who is besieged and tormented by (what else?) two redneck hillbillies (Sean Patrick Leonard and Michael B. Woods) who want to steal her backpack but don’t count on her turning the tables against them and attempting to escape. Strictly for those who’ve never heard of or seen “Deliverance”, “Mother’s Day”, or even “Wrong Turn”; relatively well-made and well-acted but is overly familiar and overlong at nearly two hours. Bravura rock-to-the-head finale, though. Continue reading →
September 12, 2020 “Evil Under The Skin” (* out of four) was a limp pile of horror cliches about a mother and daughter (Helen Udy and Angela Banjaras) who head off for a weekend at a secluded cabin but- to the surprise of no one- find that it attracts some strange figures and characters which threaten them and their sanity. Genuinely bizarre and weird story is done with little flair or energy and thus has almost no interest or impact. Even at only an hour-and-30-minutes, this still feels pretty padded. Originally titled “Fading Flowers” until right before its release. Continue reading →
September 12, 2020 “The Owners” (*1/2 out of four) was a sodden horror show about a group of burglars (Andrew Ellis, Ian Kenny, and Jake Curran) who break into the home of an elderly couple (Sylvester McCoy and Rita Tushingham) thinking it’s an easy score for cash but soon find that the couple turn the tables on them and they try to escape with their lives. Violent and unpleasant but (worst of all) pretty dull as the story rips off elements of “Don’t Breathe” and “Home Alone.” Performances do what they can with thin material but still- this is hardly worth owning. Continue reading →
September 11, 2020 “Robin’s Wish” (*** out of four) was an absorbing documentary about the final days of actor/comedian Robin Williams whose legendary comic electricity and charisma was declining as he was struggling with the mental and physical problems brought on by Lewy Body Dementia which resulted in him taking his own life at 63 years old which sent shockwaves around the world. Reverently done with many touching and revealing interviews with his wife Susan Schneider, director Shawn Levy, Williams himself, and many others detailing the final days of a sad clown. Continue reading →
September 8, 2020 “Blood Quantum” (** out of four) was a mindless horror thriller about the dead who are somehow returning to life outside an isolated small-town named Red Crow but the local inhabitants (Michael Greyeyes, Forrest Goodluck, Elle-Maija Tailfeathers, and others) are strangely immune to this zombie plague and have to band together to fight back and stay alive. Tired zombie story in the vein of “The Walking Dead”/”Night Of The Living Dead”/”28 Days Later” although better made than most. Has its moments and jump-starts now and then but not enough. By now, the zombie genre needs a fresh transfusion of “blood” to enliven itself back from the dead. Continue reading →
September 8, 2020 “Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion’s Revenge” (**1/2 out of four) was a moderately watchable animated story in the “Mortal Kombat” cannon about the warrior Hanzo Hasashi (voiced by Patrick Seitz) who loses his family and loved ones in a vicious attack by a rival ninja clan and the only way to save them is by competing (and winning) an interdimensional martial-arts tournament to the death. Far from groundbreaking or memorable but features enough colorful animation and hand-to-hand combat and violence to make it an entertaining time-filler, especially for “Kombat” fans. Original “Kombat” creator Ed Boon was a creative consultant on this one. Continue reading →
September 8, 2020 “Come To Daddy” (0 stars out of four) was rockbottom dreck about a meek young adult (Elijah Wood) who travels to a remote cabin to reconnect with his long-estranged father (Stephen McHattie) but things begin to fall apart when he finds out his father didn’t really invite him and then he finds his father dead. And that’s (unfortunately) just the beginning of the story. Unendurably awful story is ugly and dull in equal measure and becomes torturous after a while. But the biggest problem is Wood who was a fine child actor but as an adult has no presence, no spark, and almost no charisma and is unable to provide any life to this sleazy material. Avoid like the coronavirus. Continue reading →
September 7, 2020 “The Postcard Killings” (** out of four) was a wearily familiar adaptation of James Patterson’s novel about a hard-boiled NYC detective (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) and his estranged wife (Famke Janssen) who go to London to investigate the death of their daughter who was murdered on her honeymoon but find there may be a lot more duplicity and deception at play than either realize. Standard-issue Patterson story of murder and mayhem and cops and vengeance but it’s muddled and inert. Morgan is solid as usual and holds your interest for at least a little while but even he has played this role all-too-many times before. Elegant cinematography by Salvatore Tortino is another definite plus. Continue reading →
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