“Lowdown Dirty Criminals” (*1/2 out of four) was a terminally arch story set in England of two moronic criminals (Samuel Austin and James Rolleston) who try to make some extra cash by working for an underworld figure (Scott Wills) and end up getting mired up with an even more dangerous criminal (Rebecca Gibney) and all their lives soon are caught in the crossfire. Plays like a Guy Ritchie crime comedy without its bounce or fizz but with lots of noise and ugliness in-your-face instead. One autopsy scene is particularly gruesome and hard to take and rest of film is disposable.