“Alpine Lake” (* out of four) was an amateurish horror mess about five college friends (Melvin Jackson Jr, Christine Guerra, Ellyanna, and others) who head to a cabin (cue ominous music) for a weekend getaway when they are suddenly stalked and slashed by a deranged lunatic out on the prowl. Does anybody in movies like these ever go to a cabin the woods and just have a good time? Schlocky and silly time-waster goes nowhere slowly and drowns in its own tackiness. Trash like this was more fun in the ’80’s.