April 24, 2021 “The Boonies” (*1/2 out of four) was a third-rate rip-off of “Wrong Turn”, “Deliverance”, and too many others to mention about a group of campers (Brian Balog, Rick Dutrow, Lance Parkin) and others who find themselves besieged and stalked by a clan of cannibals in Appalachia and have to fight them to the death to survive. Thoroughly predictable and by-the-numbers timewaster; even the cast looks bored and none of the kills are staged with particular relish or style. Parkin also co-wrote and directed. Watch “The Goonies” again instead. Continue reading →
April 18, 2021 “Mortal Kombat” (** out of four) was a joyless remake of the Midway Games classik about a lone rogue MMA fighter (Lewis Tan) who seeks out the greatest fighters in the universe (Jessica McNamee, Josh Lawson, Joe Taslim, and others) in a battle against the enemies of Outworld for the violent fate of the universe. Initially, plodding and awkward as it takes a long time to get going but even when the inevitable slam-bag fight scenes start it’s overdirekted and khaotically shot and edited. Not bad but yet another video-game adaptation that feels like watching an empty video-game. Hard-core Kombat fans may still want to chekk this out but they’d still be better off re-watching the original series or listening to the original soundtrakk CD. Continue reading →
April 16, 2021 “No Way Out” (* out of four) was a suffocatingly routine horror thriller about a group of friends (Johanna Rae, Chris Levine, Christopher McGahan, and Jennifer Karraz) who go on a weekend trip to the woods where (to the surprise of only them) they find they are not alone and are (yawn) besieged by a redneck killer. Countless and umpteenth horror movie about teens in the woods done with no style or flair and no scares either. Would it kill horror filmmakers to come up with some new ideas once in a while? Even the title is unoriginal and byetheway this is no relation to the 1987 Gene Hackman/Kevin Costner classic Continue reading →
April 15, 2021 “Acts Of Revenge” (*1/2) was a numbingly ugly pulp melodrama about a grieving father (Matt Cinquanta) who is heartbroken and delirious after the loss of his family and then stumbles upon a sinister psychiatrist (Kurt Sinclair) and a corrupt ex-police detective (Richard Tyson) and is manipulated into revenge. Umpteenth story of revenge and retribution is violent and unpleasant and even the main protagonist isn’t very likeable. First-time writer/director Cagan Kayi funded this with money from his last semester in film school and one can only hope this is a sign of better things to come. Continue reading →
April 15, 2021 “Murder In The Woods” (*1/2 out of four) was an artless horror thriller about a group of friends (Jose Julian, Jeanette Samano, Chelsea Randon, and others) who go to (cue the ominous music) a cabin in the woods where they discover the various dark secrets beneath the cabin and realize all of their lives are in danger. Film is so utterly derivative and by-the-numbers that even the amateurish cast members seem to be just going through the motions. Danny Trejo picks up a few extra bucks as a corrupt sheriff. Filmed in 2017 and could have stayed on the shelf. Continue reading →
April 14, 2021 “Grizzly II: Revenge” (*1/2 out of four) was a cheezoid horror clunker about a giant grizzly bear who runs loose and mauls and attacks anyone and everyone (Deborrah Raffin, George Clooney, Charlie Sheen, John Rhys-Davies, Laura Dern, Louise Fletcher, and others) who gets in his way at a massive rock concert in a national park. Incredibly- this mess was filmed in 1983 in Budapest and was seized and held by the government and was subsequently completed and now released almost 40 years later but to put it kindly it hasn’t exactly aged like fine wine. Concert scenes are impressive considering film’s miniscule budget but film is completely devoid of any scares or thrills. Strictly for those who want to see these stars before they became celebrities but the bear is actually a better actor than them here. Continue reading →
April 11, 2021 “Godzilla vs. Kong” (**1/2 out of four) was an overall proficient action blockbuster about the gigantic battle between Godzilla and King Kong with several scientists and caretakers (Rebecca Hall, Alexander Skarsgard, Millie Bobby Brown, and others) racing to settle things down and to save the world. Lots of spectacular visual effects and action scenes as film has everything money can buy but is dwarfed by pedestrian screenplay with a thin storyline and one-dimensional characters. Yet another multi-million dollar behemoth that feels made by a machine and lacks heart and soul; the final battle is pretty spectacular, however, and still makes this overall worth checking out. Continue reading →
April 10, 2021 “Assistant” (* out of four) was an exceedingly trashy and unpleasant potboiler about a gullible woman (Kate Palmerston) who goes to work for a woman (Claudine Helen) as her assistant and gradually realizes she is drawn into a serpentine and sleazy web of murder and duplicity. The kind of movie where you want to take a shower almost immediately afterwards; is there anything more dispiriting than trash done with no conviction or flair? Even at only a little more than an hour, this is pretty grueling. Continue reading →
April 10, 2021 “The Power” (*1/2 out of four) was a powerless horror thriller set in 1973 in which a young nurse (Rose Williams) is forced to work the night shift in a crumbling hospital in which she soon realizes that an evil spirit is at work which turns her sanity inside-out and that of everyone around her and she has to escape and try to survive. Drably downbeat and inert and never fully rises above the routine; just because it’s set in 1973 doesn’t mean it has to feel like a movie from 1973. Laura Bellingham’s colorful cinematography provides film’s only “power” and signs of life. Continue reading →
April 10, 2021 “The Night They Knocked” (*1/2 out of four) was a wooden, hollow horror thriller about a group of friends (Linnea Gregg, Jack Buckley, Mickey Roberts, and others) who gather at a mountain cabin for a weekend of fun when a sudden knock on the door interrupts their vacation and leads to a never-ending night of horror. Numerous and endless cliches abound. When all of a sudden did “The Strangers” become the eminent horror movie to rip off? Even so, this is a “knock” well worth not answering. Continue reading →
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