October 29, 2021 “Paranormal Activity: Next Of Kin” (*1/2 out of four) was a torpid sequel in this never-ending series about a documentary filmmaker (Emily Bader) who goes to a secluded Amish community to learn more about her mother and long-lost relatives but soon finds that there is a lot more danger and deception in this community than it initially appears. Horror fans desperate for scares would better off watch “Witness” for more frightful material; this takes forever to get going and only the last 20 minutes deliver the mere goods. Supposedly this is a direct sequel to the original and ignores other entries but who cares? For “Paranormal” completists only. Continue reading →
October 27, 2021 “Attached: Paranormal” (* out of for) was a nearly unendurable horror mess shown in home-movie flashbacks about a man (Rob Jankowski) who was found dead in his home and it was deemed a suicide but years later found footage is discovered by local authorities. Did he really commit suicide or was his death the result of paranormal activity? Yet another movie that looks like it was filmed on someone’s cell phone and yet another movie to include the word “paranormal” in its title to attempt to give it some worthiness and class. Either way- it’s a real bore. Lead Jankowski also wrote, directed, and produced but he should have “attached” his talents to something else. Continue reading →
October 26, 2021 “The Deep House” (** out of four) was an overly soggy underwater thriller about a young couple (Camille Rowe and James Jagger) who go deep-sea diving in France and discover a bizarre house that has been submerged underwater; they subsequently enter and explore but at their own peril as they soon find that there is an evil and ominous presence that is lurking at the bottom of the ocean that they have now awakened. Not bad, as film holds you with its becalming mood and eerie atmosphere, but after a while film’s plodding pace begins to drag things down and film’s main “surprise” isn’t much of one. In case you were wondering, co-star Jagger is Mick’s son. Continue reading →
October 26, 2021 “Frank” (* out of four) was a dismayingly awful horror melodrama about a young woman (Krsy Fox) who in a moment of desperation vows a life of servitude to a monster she meets named Frank; she then subsequently commits suicide causing the title monster to wreak havoc and all Hell breaks loose. A vanity project for star/writer/director/co-producer Fox but a complete misfire; by the time you sort out the muddle, film is too far gone for it to matter. Fox previously starred in a few of the “Underworld” entries, a reminder on the right way to do these types of movies with flair and style. Continue reading →
October 25, 2021 “Wired Shut” (*1/2 out of four) was a lugubrious/ludicrous thriller about a wealthy former novelist (Blake Stadel) who is unable to speak after recovering from reconstructive jaw surgery and receives an unexpected visit from his estranged daughter (Natalie Sharp); initially, he is touched by her visit but soon realizes her visit carries much more sinister intentions and his life is in danger. Director Alexander Sharp works in a hallucinatory and operatic style that is reminiscent of mid-period Stanley Kubrick but it’s all for nothing, since film is an unpleasant and off-putting bore. Re-watch “Eyes Wide Shut” instead. Continue reading →
October 25, 2021 “Night Teeth” (*1/2 out of four) was a toothless vampire melodrama about a college student (Jorge Lendeborg, Jr.) who moonlights as a chauffeur and picks up two women (Debbie Ryan and Lucy Fry) and subsequently finds out they are bloodsuckers and gradually gets sucked into their shadowy and violent world of vampirism and blood lust. By the standards of most vampire movies, this one is pretty anemic and could have used a transfusion of some style and conviction. Bizarrely, Megan Fox has a brief (and meaningless) cameo as a member of the vampire clan. Continue reading →
October 25, 2021 “The Last Duel” (** out of four) was a sodden medieval melodrama set in 1386 based on the true story of a woman (Jodie Comer) who claims to have been raped by the squire (Adam Driver) of her husband (Matt Damon) who challenges him to a trial by combat and a vicious duel-to-the-death which was the last sanctioned in France’s history. Director Ridley Scott utilizes his typical lavish visual flourishes and costumes but he has covered this territory before far more successfully in “Gladiator” and “Legend”. Story takes an awfully long time to get going and get where it’s going but the last duel, itself, is sensational. Damon and Ben Affleck (who is unrecognizable as King Pierre d’Alencon) both co-wrote the script but this is no match at all for their last joint effort “Good Will Hunting.” Continue reading →
October 23, 2021 “No Man Of God” (*** out of four) was an engrossing crime melodrama based on the true story of a growing friendship that developed between an F.B.I. agent (Elijah Wood) and Ted Bundy (Luke Kirby) who he was sent to investigate; initially, he had his reservations but the more they met, the more they began to trust and understand one another. No masterpiece and no “Silence Of The Lambs” (which film all-too-obviously emulates in its structure) but Wood’s best performance in years and compelling subject matter hold your attention. Robert Patrick is strong as usual in a small but key role as F.B.I. Bureau Chief Roger Depue. Continue reading →
October 23, 2021 “Every Last One Of Them” (** out of four) was a haphazard action potboiler about an ex-Black Ops soldier (Paul Sloan) searching for his missing daughter but this leads him to uncovering an underground criminal empire (led by Richard Dreyfuss and Michael Madsen) involving sex-trafficking and murder that he is determined to put a stop to. Should this at all sound familiar, that’s because Liam Neeson did this thing first (and better) over a decade ago in “Taken” but even “Taken 2 and 3” were better than this uninspired thriller. Fast-moving enough to be watchable but never terribly invigorating. Madsen sleepwalks his way through his umpteenth role as an underworld heavy; Dreyfuss is a bit long in the tooth to be playing a fearsome gangster. Continue reading →
October 22, 2021 “Escape From Area 51” (0 stars out of four) was an excruciatingly inept and low-grade sci/fi drivel about a female warrior (Donna D’Errico) who uses her otherworldly powers to escape from the captivity of Area 51 and attempts to free another warrior (Anouk Samuel) in the process. Or something like that. Laughably awful acting and storytelling are matched by even worse direction and visual effects; this looks like something you’d see on “Mystery Science Theater” in its heyday. D’Errico’s lip collagen and plastic surgery are far scarier than any of the horror and sci/fi elements here. Her and Nikki Sixx’ daughter (Frankie Sixx) makes her film debut here but she should have “escaped” herself. Motley Crue’s 1985 classic album notwithstanding, this is the real theatre of pain. Continue reading →
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