April 29, 2022 “Corrective Measures” (*1/2 out of four) was a paint-by-numbers action thriller set in the world’s most dangerous maximum-security prison in which escalating tension between the sadistic warden (Michael Rooker at his hammy worst) and some of the various criminals (Bruce Willis, Daniel Cudmore, and others) and the prison guards (Kat Ruston, Matthew Kevin Anderson, and others) threatens to boil over. Virtually nothing you haven’t seen in 1,000 other (and better) prison movies but ridiculous special-effects showdown at the end seems to come out of left field and seems like it was borrowed from an “X-Men” movie! An adaptation of Grant Chastain’s graphic novel but this should have undergone its own “corrective measures” before the cameras started rolling. Continue reading →
April 28, 2022 “Black Crab” (**1/2 out of four) In a post-apocalyptic world, a tough-as-nails soldier (Noomi Rapace) is forced to save her daughter by leading 5 other soldiers on a covert mission transporting a mysterious package across a frozen dessert but naturally- things do not go as planned and they face double-crosses and death at every turn. A film that holds you with its good filmmaking and acting but never fully grabs you and is never as fiery or riveting as it should be. Icy cinematography from Jonas Alarik and Rapace’s usual rock-solid performance definitely command your attention but film still feels empty at the center. Continue reading →
April 28, 2022 “A Happening Of Monumental Proportions” (** out of four) was a tepid comedy about a various group of parents and school workers (Common, Allison Janney, Jennifer Garner, Bradley Whitford, and others) who become mired up in a plot involving sex, dead bodies, and a sabotaged coffee machine! Occasional laughs but story becomes overly silly and contrived after a while leaving its talented cast high-and-dry. Keanu Reeves has an amusing cameo near the end. This marks actress Judy Greer’s directorial debut. Continue reading →
April 27, 2022 “Children Of Sin” (* out of four) was a sinfully dull horror thriller about two mischievous siblings (Lewis Hines and Meredith Mohler) who are sent to a temporary boarding house whose owner (Jo-Ann Robinson) turns out to be (what else? a religious nut whose not quite as nice as she appears and they have to struggle to survive and escape. Result is like a wilted remake of “Flowers In The Attic” but even that movie was stale material back in 1987. Robinson does what she can with a ridiculous role. Writer/director Christopher Wesley Moore has a small but key role as one of Hines’ lovers at the house. Continue reading →
April 27, 2022 “The Northman” (*1/2 out of four) was a lumbering historical action adventure about a young boy whose father (Ethan Hawke) is brutally murdered by his uncle (Claes Bang) who kidnaps the boy’s mother (Nicole Kidman); two decades later, he has grown into a warrior Viking (Alexander Skarsgard) who sets outs on a mission to avenge his father and rescue his mother and kill his uncle. Skarsgard sure packed on some muscles for this film but all that protein may have dulled his persona, judging from his one-note performance here (he barely changes expressions the entire film). Heavy-going all the way and not even the final showdown is particularly gripping or satisfying. Fans of director Robert Eggers’ other work (I wasn’t) may like this better. Continue reading →
April 27, 2022 “Hostile Territory” (**1/2 out of four) was a spectacularly filmed but emotionally sparse Western set in post-Civil War America in which a Union soldier (Brian Presley) is presumed dead and his children are subsequently sent away on the orphan train but he comes back to attempt to intercept the train and reunite his family before it is too late. Beautiful cinematography from Mark David and solid production values make this worth watching for a little while but story and dramatic center are not all that involving, especially as film goes on for over two-and-a-half hours. Continue reading →
April 27, 2022 “Night’s End” (* out of four) was a miserable horror story about a virtual shut-in (Geno Walker) who moves into an apartment with (yawn) paranormal activity and he asks an online stranger (Lawrence Grimm) to perform an exorcism which has a series of foreboding consequences he never expected. Static movie is set entirely in one room and over computers; if that doesn’t sound like much to get excited about, you wouldn’t be wrong. Michael Shannon adds some welcome humor as an online friend but trust to me- you won’t want this to “end” fast enough. Continue reading →
April 27, 2022 “Burn” (*1/2 out of four) was an insipid underworld melodrama about a morally conflicted hitman (Patrick Lazzara) who discovers that his younger brother (Eric Stayberg) killed the wife (Dawn Barber) of a volatile mob boss and he has two days to get him out of town before a contract killer kills the both of them. Sleazy story feels like reheated Elmore Leonard but without his wit and conviction. Lazzara also wrote and directed and his lead performance is decent but Barber is pretty awful as the femme fatale. Continue reading →
April 26, 2022 “So Cold The River” (** out of four) was an elegant but empty horror thriller about a documentary filmmaker (Bethany Joy Lenz) who shows up at a resort town to investigate the town’s mysterious benefactor and uncovers (what else?) a sinister force lurking beneath the town’s picture-perfect landscape. Well-made, with sleek cinematography from Madeline Kate Kann and beautiful eerie locations, but it’s all window-dressing for a tired story that has been told far too many times before. “So Old The Plot” would have been a more apt title. Continue reading →
April 26, 2022 “The Bubble” (*1/2 out of four) was an utterly stupid action comedy about a group of none-too-bright actors (Harry Trevaldwyn, Samson Kayo, David Duchovny) stuck in a pandemic bubble at a hotel where they are trying to complete a film but each get lost in their own side-fantasies and distractions from indulgence and partying. Director Judd Apatow tries to throw in everything but the kitchen sink to keep you entertained but the sink is pretty empty. And for a film with not much story- it goes on forever at well-over 2 hours. One of Apatow’s more unusual films and also one of his worst. Continue reading →
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