June 26, 2022 “The Man From Toronto” (** out of four) was a paper-thin Netflix comedy about the world’s deadliest assassin (Woody Harrelson) and a terminal screw-up (Kevin Hart) whose identities get mixed up at an air B & B rental leading to a plethora of complications and consequences for both of them. A one-joke movie in which even the one joke isn’t all that funny but at least director Patrick Hughes keeps this moving fast. Needlessly contrived and overlong, with only the good-natured performances of its two leads to help it stay afloat. Continue reading →
June 26, 2022 “Crimes Of The Future” (*1/2 out of four) was a severely unpleasant futuristic psychodrama in which humans have adopted to a synthetic environment in which transformations and mutations are commonplace; a celebrity performance artist (Viggo Mortensen) showcases live performances of the metamorphosis of his organs but doesn’t realize that a sinister group is trying to use his celebrity to shed light on the mysterious next step of the human evolution. Typically bizarre and unconventional story from the twisted mind of David Cronenberg but film is pointless, ugly, and (after a while) boring. No relation to the 1970 Cronenberg film which weirdly had the same name. Fifth (and least) collaboration between Mortensen and Cronenberg. Continue reading →
June 26, 2022 “Beavis And Butthead Do The Universe” (*** out of four) was a very funny follow-up about the title morons (voiced by Mike Judge) who are somehow selected for space travel in the year 1998; a fellow astronaut (voiced by Andrea Savage) becomes enraged with their stupidity and tries to kill them but they end up falling into a black hole that instantly transports them to the present day where they have to learn and adapt to the times while that same astronaut is now a powerful senator who enlists the FBI to track them down and have them killed for good this time! Not exactly sure we needed a sequel 26 years after the original but writer/co-director/original creator Judge is more than up to the task as the 2 instantly recreate their moronic chemistry together and there’s a lot of laughs along the way, as the 2 learn about cell-phones, the internet, and white privilege. A definite must for original series fans. Welcome back boys! Continue reading →
June 25, 2022 “Harmony” (** out of four) was a good-looking but unpleasant horror psychodrama about a wounded soldier (Marili Kateri) who is transported to a medical facility to assist in her recovery but she soon uncovers the hidden sinister truth of the medical facility’s agenda and tries to revolt and get out before it’s too late. Scott Jeschke’s striking and alluring cinematography does look good and makes you hope that story is going to build to more than just another derivation of “The Shining” and “Asylum”- but it doesn’t and is cold-to-the-touch. Continue reading →
June 23, 2022 “Bad Blood” (*1/2 out of four) was an anemic horror story about a caring social worker (Tosca Bell) who takes in a homeless boy (Brian Dunne) into her care but soon comes to realize he is a vampire and that her life may be in danger but is then at a moral crossroads over what to do about him. Dour-looking and dull; this might give “Twilight” a run for its money for the dullest vampire characters ever. “Bad Movie” would be a much more apt title for this clinker. Continue reading →
June 22, 2022 “The House In Between 2” (*1/2 out of four) was a turgid pseudo-documentary about the return of home-owner Alice Jackson from the original and her returning team of paranormal investigators (Dustin Pari and Brad Cooney) who attempt to make it safe for her to return back home. Top choice for most unnecessary sequel of the year but this could likely have been titled “Paranormal Activity 8” and no one would be able to tell the difference (or care). Howlingly self-important and solemn at times but unfortunately this isn’t meant to be a comedy. Continue reading →
June 21, 2022 “Lightyear” (** out of four) was a disappointing Pixar children’s story about the space ranger Buzz Lightyear (voiced by Chris Evans- replacing Tim Allen) who spends years attempting to return home but on the way back encounters an army of robots led by the villainous Zurg (voice of James Brolin) who want to steal his fuel source. Perfectly watchable children’s animated tale but neither the story, characters, or animation are in the same leagues as the “Toy Story” series which this is based on and film is overall pretty ordinary. Tom Hanks and company are sorely missed. Continue reading →
June 20, 2022 “Father Of The Bride” (*** out of four) was a delightful remake of the 1950 classic about a stubborn father (Andy Garcia) who learns that his daughter (Adria Arjona) has fallen in love and is about to get married and they have to plan out her wedding, just as him and his own wife (Gloria Estefan) have reached a divide in life and are about to divorce. Third telling of this story is about on par with the original and its previous 1991 Steve Martin remake, with a lot of heart, laughs, and Garcia and Estefan have dynamite chemistry together. Only complaint is Garcia’s character whose incessant negativity and complaining gets to be a bit much at times. Continue reading →
June 20, 2022 “Collision” (*1/2 out of four) was an uninvolving action melodrama set over the course of one day in which a corrupt businessman (Langley Kirkwood) and his wife (Tessa Jubber) try to save their daughter (Zoey Sneedon) from a ruthless and violent crime lord (Vuyo Dabula) but soon realize they may have taken on far more than they bargained for and all of their lives are caught in a crossfire. Set in South Africa on the anniversary that apartheid ended but all this is just window dressing for an unpleasant crime story in which you’re not really rooting- or caring- for anyone. Inauspicious directing debut from award-winning French short-film director Fabien Martorell. Continue reading →
June 20, 2022 “Mad God” (** out of four) was a hollow stop-motion animation feature set in a rainy city of futuristic Hell in which a corroded division bell descends amongst the city and a determined assassin emerges to uncover its truth as he navigates the city’s ugly landscapes and its dark underworlds. With Phil Tippett (“Robocop”, “Starship Troopers”) at the helm- you know you’re going to get some lush and hypnotic images but story becomes sludgy and monotonous after a while, especially because there’s no dialogue and very few actors. This was Tippett’s pet project that he worked on for over 30 years but it doesn’t really seem worth all the bother. Continue reading →
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