January 31, 2023 “Night Hunt” (*1/2 out of four) was a pedestrian horror thriller set against the backdrop of Chicago in which two women (Monica Ochoa and Adilene Martinez) attempt to find a serial killer who has been terrorizing the city but don’t quite realize what they are up against. Pretty tame and ineffectual thriller doesn’t provide any insights in regards to serial-killer psychodrama or much in the way of scares either. Writer/director Ricardo Islas has covered this territory before, in 2011’s “The Hauntings Of Chicago” and 2007’s “To Kill A Killer.” Continue reading →
January 31, 2023 “12 Theses” (*1/2 out of four) was an insipid religious horror thriller about a news story from Switzerland about the 12 theses and how everyone associated with it is suddenly dying and it’s up to a determined police captain (Dugald Ferguson) and a theology student (Joanna Castelli) to find out why and how before it’s apocalypse now. Director Stefan Asang shows some style and nuances in his filmmaking and storytelling but it’s all for nothing because it’s yet another dull religious story about evil activity within the church and the end of the world. Loosely based on Herbert Blaser’s horror thriller “Cruor”; by this point there have been so many anti-church horror movies that the Vatican should sue. Continue reading →
January 31, 2023 “Cabin Tales” (* out of four) was a bargain-basement horror cheapie about a group of friends (Ariel Celeste, Mia Knight, Andrew Kunkel, and others) who gather for a weekend getaway at a lake when strange occurrences start happening leading to a murder investigation and explorations as to what really happened. Writer/director/star/co-producer Justin Russell certainly gives his all but this is strictly amateur night in terms of storytelling and acting. Film is only 42 minutes long but still feels padded and thin. Continue reading →
January 30, 2023 “Sorry About The Demon” (*1/2 out of four) was a brainless horror comedy about a young man (Jon Michael Simpson) reeling from a recent breakup who comes to learn that his new place is full of restless and evil spirits but are they his friends or enemies in life? One-joke story quickly wears thin but still goes on for nearly two hours and might have worked better as a one-character play. Dumb writing overwhelms the sincerity of Simpson’s likeable performance. “Sorry About The Movie” would have been a more apt title for this clunker. Continue reading →
January 30, 2023 “Alone At Night” (* out of four) was a perfectly awful horror thriller set during a long night of quarantine in which various friends (Ashley Benson, Jon Foster, Sky Ferreira, and others) find themselves victimized by a mysterious killer. Since all of the characters are unlikeable, you’re literally rooting for the killer to put them (and the audience) out of their misery. Ugly and unredeeming thriller goes nowhere and takes it’s time getting there. Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson show up in meaningless cameos. Continue reading →
January 30, 2023 “Delusional” (* out of four) was a noxious psychodrama about a woman (Anais Almonte) with severe mental health problems who kills her husband and is sent to a mental hospital but the doctor (Billy Hartmann) assigned to review whether she’s mentally competent to stand trial begins to have psychological problems of his own as a result. Viewers who make it to the end of this fiasco will likely experience mental health problems of their own. Offensive movie trivializes (and exploits) a serious subject matter. Almonte tries in the lead but she co-wrote, co-directed, and co-produced and bears most of the blame for this dreck. Continue reading →
January 30, 2023 “Night Of The Bastard” (* out of four) was a stupefying horror thriller about an injured young woman (Mya Hudson) who takes refuge in a secluded home with a gruff recluse (London May); when a sinister sorceress (Hannah Pierce) of a bloodthirsty cult comes and threatens both of them, they must band together to fight them off and stay alive. Loaded with hilariously cheesy effects and filmmaking and terrible acting that turn this into one very long night. Danzig’s long-time drummer May ought to keep his day job; Danzig song titles like “Unspeakable”, “Sacrifice”, and (especially) “I Don’t Mind The Pain” are apt descriptions of sitting through this clunker. Continue reading →
January 29, 2023 “Shark Waters” (* out of four) was a waterlogged horror thriller about a group of friends (Jim Fitzpatrick, Meghan Carrasquillo, and others) out on a fishing charter miles from home and are besieged by a ravenous shark and their only hope for survival and staying alive is their grizzled captain (Mike Rae Anderson- looking a little like Vinnie Paul). Gratuitous killer-shark movie has little kills or shark action and is unbelievably dull. It’s toothless knockoffs like this that make you seriously regret that “Jaws” (or its sequels) was ever made. Continue reading →
January 29, 2023 “Designed For Death” (*1/2 out of four) was a grindingly predictable suspense thriller about an interior decorator (Kelcie Stranahan) who revamps the home of a man (Matthew Pohlkamp) she meets and she then becomes (what else?) obsessed with him and becoming the only person in his life, even if this means killing his family and doing some more internal decorating of her own. All-too-predictable and obvious thriller seems to be following an overly familiar pattern and design. Film’s letdown of an ending is a real spit in the face to anyone who bothered staying with this. This ought to suffer a quick “death” in Redbox machines before being banished to permanent cable. Continue reading →
January 29, 2023 “Shotgun Wedding” (** out of four) was an utterly dumb romantic comedy about a bride and groom (Jennifer Lopez and Josh Duhamel) who gather their families together in Bali for an ultimate wedding reception but plans change when the wedding is taken over and held hostage by pirates and they find they have to put their differences aside to fight back and take back their wedding day. Needlessly contrived and silly, with only the good-natured performances of the cast to keep it afloat. Lopez gives 100% as usual with her effortless charisma but it’s really thin stuff. Lenny Kravitz has a minor role as Lopez’ ex and Cheech Marin shows up as her dad but they still can’t keep this from firing blanks. Continue reading →
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