February 11, 2023 “Consecration” (*1/2 out of four) was ridiculous psychobabble that feels like a condemnation about a woman (Jena Malone) whose priest brother commits suicide so she travels to the Scottish convent where he fell to his death and she encounters various religious omens and begins to distrust the priest (Danny Huston) who oversees the church which seems to be hiding various nefarious activity. Latest in a never-ending line of quasi-religious horror movies about the church, exorcisms, religious demons, etc. etc. etc. Can anybody actually tell these interchangeable movies apart??? Malone and Huston are solid as usual but more horror movies like these will really make filmgoers want to say their hail mary’s. Continue reading →
February 10, 2023 “Grotesque” (* out of four) was an aptly titled timewaster about a woman (Elizabeth Chamberlain) who is the victim of a botched plastic surgery procedure which results in her going insane and wanting to kill anyone and everyone who tormented her about her looks and led her to getting plastic surgery in the first place. Potentially satirical look at vanity and obsession with looks and perfectionism is completely undone by its own grotesque acting and terrible filmmaking. Avoid at all costs, unless watching someone chopping their foot off and having to eat it is your idea of a good time. Continue reading →
February 9, 2023 “My Landlord Wants Me Dead” (*1/2 out of four) was a suspenseless suspense thriller about a young woman (Emily Rosslyn Villareal) who fails out of college and loses her job and gets a job with her aunt (Anzu Lawson) taking care of her house but finds that the landlord (Roy Abramsohn) is a nutjob creep who will stop at nothing to make sure she’s out for good. Utterly predictable and stupid thriller full of stilted and awful dialogue. With a title like that, you know not to expect Oscar fare but film doesn’t even provide much in the way of cheap thrills or scares. For a much richer and engrossing landlord/tenant psychodrama, evict this from your list and watch “Pacific Heights” instead. Continue reading →
February 9, 2023 “Float” (** out of four) was a middling horror psychodrama about a vlogger (Kate Mayhew) and her friends (Kaya Coleman, Grant Morningstar, and others) who embark on an annual river float in commemoration of the death of their friend but are besieged and stalked by a mysterious local (Matt Wise) and his sinister followers who want them out. Overall well-made and well-acted for this genre but film gradually sinks and fails to stay afloat because of its own generic story and script. Directorial debut for noted horror producer Zac Locke. Continue reading →
February 9, 2023 “Dying For Chocolate: A Curious Caterer Mystery” (*1/2 out of four) was an unappetizing suspense melodrama about a single mom and caterer (Nikki Deloach) who teams up with a hard-nosed detective (Andrew W. Walker) to uncover the death of her close friend (Jaycie Dotin) as they both start to suspect their might be ties to a large-scale crime operation. Loaded with fluff and empty calories that basically is the coating for a routine and by-the-numbers mystery thriller and it would help if the 2 leads actually had chemistry together. Another adaptation of Diane Mott Davidson’s “Curious Caterer” series but this will likely give all but her most devoted fans indigestion. Continue reading →
February 8, 2023 “Knock At The Cabin” (*1/2 out of four) was an earthbound horror melodrama about a young girl (Kristen Cui) who is vacationing with her parents (Jonathan Groff and Ben Aldridge) when they are visited by armed strangers (led by Dave Bautista) who demand that they make a crucial choice to potentially avert the apocalypse. Typically dour and dull effort from M. Night Shymalahan except this one doesn’t even have the benefit of his usual big-surprise ending to save him. Hard-core Shymalan fans (I’m not in case you were wondering) may find more substance here. K-Ci and The Sunshine Band fans may rejoice also because the film makes prominent use of their ’70’s classic “My Funky Shoes” but unfortunately there’s not much that’s funky or classic about the film itself. Continue reading →
February 7, 2023 “The Barn II” (*1/2 out of four) was a slapdash sequel to a film that I don’t think very many were clamoring for a follow-up; this time around, the Halloween ban has been lifted in Helen’s Valley and a young woman (Lexi Dripps) has been put in charge of the sorority house when uninvited ghouls and zombies decide to drop by for a visit and a snack. If it’s gore you want, you got it but script, story, and acting are all for the birds. Many former horror icons (Linnea Quigley, Doug Bradley, Lloyd Kaufman) pop up in minor roles and cameos but you’d fare best seeing them at a horror-movie convention instead. Continue reading →
February 7, 2023 “Secrets In The Marriage” (*1/2 out of four) was a ludicrous suspense thriller about a young woman (Brianna Cohen) who is swept off her feet by a young doctor (Alex Trumble) and they are soon married; however she soon begins to suspect that something is not quite right and her suspicions are proved correct when he tries to frame her for murder! Incredible lapses in logic (and narrative) are weakened even more by overripe acting. Yet another movie that seriously makes you regret “Fatal Attraction” was ever made. Continue reading →
February 5, 2023 “Streetwalker” (* out of four) was a repulsive horror psychodrama about a young woman (Corissa Gabor) who survives a traumatic ordeal, only to have to endure numerous after effects in which she finds the reality of her mind and the world being called into question. Retro-1970’s trashy decadent filming style is seedy and impressive (you literally think you’re watching a film from 50 years ago); the rest is numbing and unwatchable. Film incorporates numerous themes of PTSD and trauma but it’s all sleazy and exploitative, not explorative. For a much more incisive look at the same themes, walk away from this trash and watch “The Accused”, “Spotlight”, or “I May Destroy You” instead. Continue reading →
February 5, 2023 “My Daughter’s Deadly Roommates” (** out of four) was a glossy but empty suspense thriller about a mother (Nicole Marie Johnson) who becomes suspicious when her daughter (Lilly Brody) starts acting bizarre and she comes to suspect she has been put under a spell and brainwashed by a club of girls she has joined at school. Hybrid of sorts of “The Stepford Wives” with some of “Mean Girls” is attractively shot and watchable but overall pretty ordinary and routine. Story was from adult film actor and filmmaker Andrew Stevens. This marks the directorial debut from cinematographer Adam Biddle (“Event Horizon”, “V For Vendetta”). Continue reading →
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