August 30, 2023 “Terror Train 2” (** out of four) was a sub-routine slasher thriller about the surviving members (Robyn Alomar, Nadine Bhabha, and others) who are coerced to reunite and re-board the same train once again but an uninvited guest has boarded again and starts killing them all again one by one. Film is a sequel to the 2022 remake of the 1980 original…..but it’s really just more-of-the-same with the same story and plot gimmicks. Seriously, the 1980 original wasn’t that great to begin with Continue reading →
August 28, 2023 “Retribution” (*1/2 out of four) was a fizzled action thriller about a bank executive and loving father (Liam Neeson) who is driving his children (Lilly Aspell and Jack Champion) to school when he receives a call informing him that his car will explode if he stops children and attempts to get out and he has to continue driving all-the-while trying to figure how to outsmart the killer and stay alive. Jagged premise combines elements of both “Speed” and “Locke” but result is dreary and forgettable. This is the third remake of the Spanish 2015 film of the same name but this runs out of gas pretty quickly. Continue reading →
August 28, 2023 “The Dive” (**1/2 out of four) was a good-looking but empty and overly familiar suspense thriller about two sisters (Louisa Krause and Sophie Lowe) who go on a perilous dive in remote waters; when one of them is hit by a rock and trapped roughly 30 meters below the surface and facing depleting oxygen and frigid temperatures, the other sister races against time to save her. Beautiful underwater cinematography from Frank Griebe and a few harrowing moments make this worthwhile although it falters storywise and is derivative of other underwater thrillers. Film is actually a remake of the 2020 Norway thriller “Breaking Surface” but owes more than a bit to the same-titled thriller “The Dive” and also “Underwater.” Continue reading →
August 28, 2023 “Happy Birthday” (** out of four) was a curiously glum and flat horror thriller about a young woman (Maddie Henderson) whose friends (Angel Pean, Kim Sandwich, and others) take her to a haunted house for her birthday present but there is (yawn) an escaped killer on the loose. Yet another throwback to ‘80’s horror movies but duds like these were a lot more fun back then and done with more flair and conviction. Henderson’s sincere performance helps keep this on track, at least for a little while. No relation to any of the “Happy Death Day” movies. Continue reading →
August 27, 2023 “Murdercise” (0 stars out of four) was a Godawful horror comedy about a fitness nerd (Kansas Bowling) who is hired to work on a sleazy workout video and after facing ridicule from friends and co-workers, she befriends a mafia daughter (Nina Lanee Kent) who teachers her to murder her way to the top of the aerobics business. Stupid and sleazy enough to insult anyone’s intelligence, with horrendous acting that literally needs to be seen to be (dis)believed but that is by no means a recommendation. With a title like that, you know not to expect Oscar material but this still plumbs new depths. Continue reading →
August 27, 2023 “Tell Me A Creepy Story” (* out of four) was a static anthology horror movie in a seemingly unrelated collection of stories about serial killers, home invasions, cannibals, and other swell folks. If you’re dying to see a movie that wanders aimlessly and has almost no dialogue (and no scares), then this is the movie for you; other should steer far clear. Next to this clunker, the original “Creepshow” and “Tales From The Darkside” look like Hitchcock in his prime. Continue reading →
August 26, 2023 “Ruined” (*1/2 out of four) was a pre-fabricated “Fatal Attraction” clone about a woman (Annie Ilonzeh) who goes to a relationship therapist (Keri Hilson) about her relationship with her husband (Chris Warren), never realizing that the therapist and her husband have a past together and she is out for psychological and physical revenge. Hilson once again shows she’s a solid actress and does what she can with a ridiculous role but film itself is “ruined” by its predictable plot points and silly writing. Continue reading →
August 26, 2023 “Talk To Me” (** out of four) was an overly arch horror thriller about a group of friends (Ari McCarthy, Hamish Phillips, Kit Erhart Bruce, and others) who discover how to conjure the dead using an embalmed hand but soon realize that they may have to make a terrifying choice between trusting the world of the living or the world of the dead before all Hell breaks loose. Unpleasant story covers all-too-familiar material although remains watchable for undemanding viewers. Somehow, this was screened at the Cannes Film Festival as an entry last year. Continue reading →
August 25, 2023 “Megalodon: The Frenzy” (** out of four) was yet another entry in the endless killer-shark genre about a group of massive 5 megalodons that are out on the prowl in the ocean and various marine biologists and military personnel (Eric Roberts, Caroline Williams, Jessica Chancellor, and others) who try to contain and control the situation. Neither the best nor worst of its genre and does feature a few vivid jolts with the shark attack sequences…………but by this point you’ve seen it all before many times. At least it’s an improvement over “Jaws: The Revenge” which filmmaker Brendan Petrizzo said this was influenced by. Continue reading →
August 25, 2023 “Birth/Rebirth” (** out of four) was a superficial horror psychodrama about a morgue technician (Marin Ireland) who successfully re-animates the body of a little girl (A.J. Lister) and is able to keep her alive using the biological contaminants from pregnant women; when the girl’s mother (Judy Reyes) finds out about this, they enter into a dark pact of trust and truth that endangers all three of them. Interesting story elements of retribution and re-animation but end result is too patchy and dour to be satisfying. Even still, this was an official selection for Best Picture entry at The Sundance Film Festival. Continue reading →
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