September 14, 2023 “Jurassic Shark 3: Seavenge” (* out of four) was a jarringly awful horror thriller about a group of people (Jada Sanchez, Tim Hatch, Jamie Morgan, and others) who are stranded out in the middle of the ocean and are preyed upon by a 50-ton megalodon shark who wants to devour them all one-by-one. Umpteenth killer-shark movie may be the worst yet which is really saying something but terrible acting and some hideous special effects turn this into a real laugh riot. It’s movies like this that make you realize “Jaws 3 and 4” really weren’t as bad as we thought at the time. Continue reading →
September 12, 2023September 12, 2023 “Us Or Them” (*1/2 out of four) was a static snoozer about two friends (Jack Donnelly and Wayne Gordon) who go on a luxury holiday vacation with their families when they meet a strange young woman (Malin Ackerman) who convinces them to play the title game, which will either make them rich or kill them or both. Intriguing concept stalls quickly and doesn’t move and thus doesn’t generate anything in the form of tension or scares. All three leads try to do what they can but this substandard clunker lets “them” down. Continue reading →
September 11, 2023 “Zombie Town” (** out of four) was a one-note horror comedy about two friends (Madi Monroe and Marlon Kazadi) who watch an old horror film reel and unearth a horrific curse and have to track down its old filmmaker (Dan Aykyroyd) to save their town from an invasion of zombies and stay alive. Good-natured movie has a few laughs and Aykroyd in perfect casting for good measure but unfortunately the chills and chuckles don’t add up to much. Chevy Chase and Henry Czerny have amusing supporting roles but are otherwise wasted. Continue reading →
September 11, 2023 “Thirst” (** out of four) was an overly dry horror thriller about the spread of both insomnia and dehydration in a small town which leads to people stricken with panic and fear and various town citizens (Brian Cogley, Cynthia Gray, Amelia Glazner, and others) congregate and seek salvation on a ranch but chaos soon ensues. Too serious to be fun but yet too silly to take seriously; film incorporates elements of “Contagion” and “The Mist” but doesn’t work as either a horror thriller or as social commentary. Continue reading →
September 10, 2023 “The Nun II” (** out of four) was an occasionally jolting sequel to the 2018 horror smash set in 1956 France in which a priest is murdered and a vindictive evil is spreading but sister Irene (Taissa Farmiga) is determined to seek out its source and stay on in her convent until she comes face-to-face with the demon nun Valak. More mumbo-jumbo/demonic possession/pseudo-religious horror but is at least infused with a creepy atmosphere and does have a few minor scares. Incredibly, this film marks the 9th entry in the endless “Conjuring” franchise so it’s mostly for series fans and completists. If there are any more, it might be time to go back to confession again. Continue reading →
September 9, 2023 “Trinket Box” (*1/2 out of four) was a bloated horror thriller about a newlywed couple (Augie Duke and Acorye White) who move into a new house which is possessed with (yawn) a historical evil which later leads to all Hell breaking loose and their relationship and their sanity being torn apart. Uninspired re-telling of horror elements that “The Amityville Horror” did and did better over 40 years ago except that wasn’t as long and slow as this is. White also co-wrote and co-directed but unfortunately there’s not much surprises in this empty “box.” Continue reading →
September 9, 2023 “Don’t Look Away” (** out of four) was a mostly perfunctory horror thriller about a young woman (Kelly Bastard) who has a strange occurrence with a mannequin that subsequently haunts- and overtakes- the rest of her life and starts to destroy her sense of reality and everyone around her. Co-writer/director Michael Bafaro gives this a creepy sense of dread and shows some style and creepiness but most of film is overall pretty tame and tired. Refreshingly short at only 81 minutes but film still feels puffy and padded at times. Continue reading →
September 9, 2023 “Office Race” (** out of four) was a good-natured but clumsy and dumb comedy about an office drone (Beck Bennett) who hates his job but becomes involved in the world of marathon-running to beat his hated boss (Joel McHale) at his own game and overall stay alive and stay healthy. Title is an obvious pun on Mike Judge’s classic “Office Space” and film makes repeated references to “The Fast And The Furious” series but won’t be held in comparison to either and soon runs out of gas. Likeable cast does its best with thin screenplay and story. Continue reading →
September 7, 2023 “Escalation” (**1/2 out of four) was a relatively gripping action potboiler about a former cop (Chris Mark who looks like a young Jet Li) who goes on a one-man vigilante vendetta to track down his brother’s murderer, leaving the city in chaos and his former officers to try and track him down and also help him. Stylishly done action thriller has enough hard-boiled dialogue and hand-to-hand combat to make it worth watching even though it starts to wear out after a while; Mark’s solid charisma helps to keep it together. Similar in story and context to “Max Payne” but far better than that mess. Continue reading →
September 7, 2023 “All Fun And Games” (** out of four) was a meager horror thriller about a group of teens in Salem (Asa Butterfield, Laurel Marsden, Natalia Dyer) who discover a cursed knife that unleashes a demon that makes them rehash gruesome childhood games in which only one person can survive. Fairly fast-moving and does feature a few jumps and stylish touches but doesn’t add anything fresh or new to this genre. Not bad by the terrible standards of these types of movies but not as much “fun” as others of its kind. Continue reading →
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