September 5, 2023 “Old Flame” (* out of four) was a suffocating melodrama about two college friends (Rebecca Robles and Andy Gershenzon) who reunite over dinner but discover a dangerous and dark secret that they ruminate over and over and over again all night. Two-character story with two unlikeable characters who spout smarmy and stupid dialogue that rings completely false. Only the end carries any charge of surprise but good luck getting there; this monotonous mess grows “old” very soon. Continue reading →
September 4, 2023 “Trauma Therapy: Psychosis” (0 stars out of four) was a worthless horror psychodrama about a self-help guru (Tom Malloy) who is exiled to the U.K. but finds 2 dedicated followers (David John Lawrence and Hannah New) and begins running more retreats again which leads to mayhem and chaos all around. Of note solely for being one of the last films of the late Tom Sizemore but he only “appears” here from clips from various interviews which led to director Gary Barth disowning the film. The rest is unwatchable schlock. Film is a follow-up to the 2019 film “Trauma Therapy” but trust me- you may need “therapy” of your own by the time you make it to the end of this mess. Continue reading →
September 4, 2023 “The Equalizer 3” (** out of four) was a tired third entry in this popular series about Robert McCall (Denzel Washington) who has made a home for himself in Southern Italy but soon finds himself in a warring faction with the local mafia (Eugenio Mastrandrea, Andrea Scarduzio, and others) which leads to an all-out bloodbath. A definite improvement over the previous two entries but film is still overly lethargic and overlong. Film marks a reunion between Washington and Dakota Fanning nearly 20 years after “Man On Fire.” Question: is it just me or why does Denzel always look puffy and bored when playing this role? Continue reading →
September 4, 2023 “King Of Killers” (** out of four) was a haphazard action melodrama about a hitman (Alain Moussi) who is part of an international organization of killers (Stephen Dorff, Kevin Grevioux, and others) who are hired to take out the most dangerous criminal in the world (Frank Grillo), only to find out he has turned the tables on them and the hunters are becoming the hunted. Stylish, violent, and absolutely empty although Dorff and Grillo add some spice as usual in minor roles. Similar story told years earlier in “Killer Elite”. Grevioux also wrote and directed. Continue reading →
September 3, 2023 “Slotherhouse” (**1/2 out of four) was a mildly engaging horror thriller about a sorority girl (Lisa Ambalavanar) who finds a cute sloth and brings it home to her sorority house (Olivia Rourye, Grace Patterson, Sydney Craven, and others) to be the new house mascot but soon the bodies start piling up and they realize that this sloth isn’t quite as harmless as it seems. Undeniably silly but at least it’s aware of its own absurdity and is done with a good tongue-in-cheek attitude and moves fast. Plus- that sloth is pretty adorable! Fun for ’80’s horror fans and better than most of its type. Continue reading →
September 3, 2023 “Hidden Exposure” (** out of four) was an emotionally distant melodrama about a jilted girlfriend (Liana Liberato) who follows her boyfriend (Jordan Rodrigues) to his home and attempts to insinuate herself into his relationship with his new girlfriend (Rumer Willis) and becomes obsessed with breaking them apart and having him back to herself again. Good performances from the three leads (especially Liberato) are eroded by film’s wan and cloudy sense of detachment which prevents you from caring about the characters and thus the film. An honorable attempt by director Todd Bogin who shows definite influences from Adrian Lyne and David Cronenberg here Continue reading →
September 3, 2023 “The Cheerleader Sleepover Slaughter” (* out of four) was an abysmal slasher thriller about a wannabe cheerleader (Taylor Herd) who hosts a sleepover event for all of the other cheerleaders (Indica Jane, Sydney Spaulding, Aja Toombs, and others) but one such cheerleader is on a rampage and sets out to systematically kill all of them one-by-one. Dreadful throwback to ’80’s low-budget horror; filled with terrible acting and dialogue which shouldn’t be much of a surprise but film doesn’t even provide much in original kills or any scares. Director Christopher Leto directed the similar “Die Die Delta Pie” and perhaps needs to move on to different material at this point. Continue reading →
September 3, 2023 “Captive” (** out of four) was a thinly conceived horror comedy about a group of stoners (Scout Taylor-Compton, Tasie Lawrence, Michael Lovato, and others) who break into a house for a weekend of partying but unfortunately find a man (Cody Frank) chained in the basement who sets out to kill all of them. Not bad by the admittedly low standards of these things, with some decent kills and touches of dark wit, but undercut by annoying characters and routine framework. Continue reading →
September 2, 2023 “The Threat Next Door” (** out of four) was a moody but mild suspense thriller about an overworked single mother (Shiva Negar) who meets a friendly neighbor (Kimberly Sue-Murray) to babysit her daughter (Bianca Sas) but soon starts noticing strange and bizarre occurrences that make her think twice that there might be something more sinister underneath her polite veneer. Well-lensed and atmospherically shot by Stephen Chandler Whitehead but film is a rip-off of “The Hand That Rocks The Cradle” that simply doesn’t rock enough and have sufficient surprises or scares. Continue reading →
September 2, 2023 “Kiss Of A Rose” (* out of four) was a kiss of death about a beauty (Pristine Edge) who is awoken after 300 years of magical slumber and falls in love with a handsome architect (William Bryant) but finds that there are numerous evil forces out there to steal her happiness and solace and she has to use her sexual dynamics to attempt to ward them off and seal her survival. Mercifully short story is also full of mercilessly bad acting and dialogue. Film’s title was inspired by the Seal song “Kiss From A Rose” but even on that the filmmakers got it wrong; other Seal songs like “Get It Together” and (especially) “A Prayer For The Dying” more aptly describe what it’s like sitting through this. Continue reading →
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