November 5, 2023 “Ape Vs. Mecha Ape” (*1/2 out of four) was a cheesy action thriller about the military (Tom Arnold, Anna Telfer, and others) who have recognized the power of their captive giant ape and attempt to create an A.I. ape; when this goes horribly wrong, they have no choice but to release the captive ape to take down the artificial ape leading to a showdown in downtown Chicago. Threadbare effects combined with a tedious script without much action results in this being a slapdash bore. Yet another quick cash-in on “Godzilla Vs. King Kong” that hardly comes close. Continue reading →
November 4, 2023 “Snake Hotel” (* out of four) was a deadening horror thriller about a group of female inmates (Danielle Scott, Chrissie Wunna, Lila Lasso, and others) who make a deal to shorten their prison sentence by taking part in a reality show involving a gigantic killer snake. Sounds fun but is worthless on almost every level and even the snake looks bored. For a movie with more conviction and panache, watch “Snakes On A Plane” again instead. Continue reading →
November 3, 2023 “Locked In” (*1/2 out of four) was a drably done horror psychodrama that will make viewers themselves feel locked in their seats about a helpful nurse (Anna Friel) who is hired to attend to a patient (Famke Janssen) who has been in a coma and has severe mental/medical effects but soon finds there is more to her story than meets the eye and she uncovers dark secrets involving her doctor (Alex Hassell) and others (Finn Cole, Rose Williams, and others). Both inept and inert; the beautiful Janssen spends the entire film in a hospital bed and wheelchair, probably wishing Liam Neeson would finally agree to make “Taken 4.” Continue reading →
November 1, 2023 “Freelance” (** out of four) was an uninspired action comedy about an ex-military enforcer turned lawyer (John Cena) who is hired by his former boss (Christian Slater) to provide security for a journalist (Allison Brie) while she interviews a dictator but havoc ensues when war breaks out and they have to flee and hide in the jungle and fight back with all they have to stay alive. Fast-paced and likeably performed by Cena and Brie but lacks the spark and dazzle that this kind of vehicle needs. Director Pierre Morel appears to be trying for the zany spirit of “Romancing The Stone” but this comes up empty. Continue reading →
November 1, 2023 “Bonded” (* out of four) was a mind-numbingly awful horror psychodrama about a doctor (B.J. Minor) and his friends (Ernest Harden Jr., Brentley Willis, Jarick White, and others) who go on an annual trip but are stalked by a deranged former patient who attempts to stalk-and-slash all of them. Unpleasant and uninvolving all the way through with characters you couldn’t care less about. Only about an hour-and-10 minutes long but believe me you won’t be complaining. Continue reading →
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