“Bermuda Island” (0 stars out of four) was a mind-numbingly awful schlock horror comedy about a group of none-too-bright passengers (John Wells, Sarah French, Greg Tally, and others) on a flight to Bermuda whose plane crashlands at sea and they are mauled and preyed upon by a bloodthirsty creature (actually a guy in a very bad gorilla suit). Tawdry and tacky from beginning to end with abysmal acting and dreadful dialogue being the extra icing on the moldy cake. Tom Sizemore is/was wasted in a quick-paycheck cameo but let’s be nice and said this was a long way from “Saving Private Ryan” and “Heat.”