“The Woods Are Real” (*1/2 out of four) was an artificial horror melodrama about a wealthy couple (Matt Dellapina and Chinasa Ogbuau) who meet a friend (Campbell Scott) who has returned from a pilgrimage and vows to change their beliefs and their lives forever. Pointless and preachy story juxtaposes social commentary onto a routine story framework but the result is pretty banal and flat. Decent actors are helpless against some laughably bad dialogue.