March 22, 2024 “FP 4EVZ” (** out of four) was campy, tongue-in-cheek no-brainer comedy for video-game freaks and stoners about a family of rhythm game warriors (Mike O’Gorman, Jason Trost, and others) who have to battle their way into the future to save what remains of an alcohol civilization before a horrific calamity turns all of society stone-cold sober 4 evz! Opening entry warns viewers that this film is best enjoyed after having at least 3 drinks so you already know what you’re getting into! The kind of movie that is admittedly fun at times and packed with cheesy visual effects but starts to wear out after a while and showcase its emptiness. Trost also wrote and directed and was obviously influenced by a lot of early Cheech And Chong. Continue reading →
March 22, 2024 “I.S.S.” (** out of four) was a curiously flat and detached sci/fi melodrama set aboard an international spaceship comprised of Russian and American astronauts (Ariana DeBose, Chris Messina, John Gallagher Jr, and others) when a conflict breaks out on Earth and they are all given separate orders from their respective countries to take control of the spacecraft by any means necessary. Potentially intriguing and exciting storyline is hampered by humdrum execution. Film is full of visual and thematic derivations from “Apollo 13”, “Crimson Tide”, and (especially) “Ad Astra” but isn’t in the leagues of any of those. Continue reading →
March 22, 2024 “Friday Night Sext Scandal” (** out of four) was a predictable teen melodrama about a high-schooler (Anthony Timpano) who becomes embroiled in a scandal exposing photographs of students at school which snowballs into a firestorm of arrests and near-tragedy. Timpano is winning and charismatic in the lead but film covers all-too-familiar territory and never has the compelling fire that it needs. The subject of “sexting” and online social-media drama is only superficially covered here. Continue reading →
March 22, 2024 “Lisa Frankenstein” (** out of four) was a one-joke horror comedy set in 1989 about a reclusive teenage goth girl (Kathryn Newton) who meets a walking corpse (Cole Sprouse) who she immediately falls in love with and the two embark on a mission of love and acceptance and finding body parts that can bring him back to life. Amusing and campy idea is awkwardly executed and is stretched beyond thin at nearly two hours. ’80’s lovers will enjoy the lively soundtrack and retro costumes and production design. Film marks the directorial debut of Robin Williams’ daughter Zelda Williams. Continue reading →
March 21, 2024 “Frozen Sasquatch” (* out of four) was an abysmal horror thriller about a group of scientists (Titus Himmelberger, Natalie Himmelberger, Noyes J. Lawton, and others) who discover the disappearance of a savage creature that is on the loose who has been frozen for untold amount of years. Lackluster amalgam of sci/fi elements from “The Thing”, “Alien”, “Aliens”, and too many others to mention. Made on the cheap with horrendous sasquatch effects although in fairness the sasquatch is a better actor than most of the humans. Continue reading →
March 17, 2024 “The Phantom Warrior” (* out of four) was a numbingly awful, incoherent action story about the origins of Nemesis Knight (Nicole Bartlett) who became a masked vigilante and an immortal soul in the underworld who does battle with various other criminal figures and malevolent types (Steven Berkoff, Charlie Rawes, and others). Ugly and unpleasant movie is also stupid and boring and makes any of “The Punisher” movies look like masterworks by comparison. Terrible acting is the final nail in the moldy coffin here. Continue reading →
March 17, 2024 “Us Or Them” (*1/2 out of four) was a mindless story about two friends (Jack Donnelly and Wayne Gordon) who are invited by a woman (Malin Ackerman) to take part in a competitive game that turns deadly and of which only one can survive. Intriguing storyline is completely usurped by silly and contrived screenplay that gives you no one to root for. It’s a bad sign in a movie like this when you don’t care about “us” or “them.” Continue reading →
March 16, 2024 “Little Wing” (** out of four) was a hokey childhood melodrama about a precocious 13-year old (Brooklyn Prince) who is enduring the loss of her home and her parents divorce and becomes enveloped in the world of pigeon racing and meets an older man (Brian Cox) who becomes her mentor. Sincere dramatic elements and good performances can’t help a story and script that decays into sheer corn. Prince is strong in the lead and Cox is good in an ideal role for him but still this never quite takes “wing.” Continue reading →
March 16, 2024 “Jonah” (** out of four) was a bloated psychodrama about an investigative reporter (Osric Chau) who meets with a woman (Alaina Hufman) who said her son was abducted by aliens and this subsequently leads to a host of repressed childhood memories and trauma for the both of them. Poignant elements of trauma and truth are overshadowed by film’s turgid sense of self-importance and its overlength starts to wear on you. Not bad and not without some positive values but overall meandering and inert. Continue reading →
March 15, 2024 “Love Lies Bleeding” (** out of four) was a generally ugly pulp melodrama about an iconoclastic gym manager (Kristen Stewart) who falls in love with a bodybuilder (Katy O’Brien) who is passing through to Las Vegas but this leads to a multitude of complications with her criminal father (Ed Harris in a terrible wig) and various other underworld figures that result in an impending bloodbath. Teasingly dark and ironic screenplay by director Rose Glass but unpleasant characters and violence make this leave a bad taste in your mouth. This received a standing ovation at the 2024 Sundance Film Festival but not from this FB reviewer. Continue reading →
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