August 28, 2024 “Gunner” (** out of four) was a half-cocked action thriller about a world-weary gunfighter (Luke Hemsworth) who is forced back into action to save his 2 sons (Connor DeWolfe and Grant Feely) from a ruthless drug gang (led by Morgan Freeman and Mykel Shannon Jenkins) leading to all-out war. Utterly derivative action thriller off the assembly line but features enough firepower and violent action to make it watchable. Hemsworth is laughably stoic and Freeman is wasted but Jenkins is strong as the main villain. Continue reading →
August 28, 2024 “Crescent City” (** out of four) was a lukewarm suspense melodrama about a group of cops (Terrence Howard, Esai Morales, Alec Baldwin, Nicky Whelan, and others) on the trail of a serial killer in which everyone is a suspect including each other and they have to violate their own moral code and conduct and start investigating one another to learn who to trust. Good cast does what they can with middling and weak material. Atmospheric lensing by Alex Salahi is a definite standout. With a stronger script and more original story, Morales and Howard could make a snappier team. Continue reading →
August 28, 2024 “Alien: Romulus” (** out of four) was a tired sequel about a group of space colonists (Cailee Spenny, David Jonsson, Archie Reneaux, and others) who scavenge an isolated space station and soon find that it has been infiltrated and overcame by (what else?) aliens. Sort of a greatest-hits of previous “Alien” entries; first half is plodding and dull but the second half finally delivers some scares and action and builds to a fervent finish. Very stylish cinematography from Galo Olivares and direction from Fede Alvarez (and a welcome CGI return with Ian Holmes) make this watchable but a definite sense of deja vu hangs over the proceedings. Continue reading →
August 28, 2024 “Helen Razor” (* out of four) was an absolute snooze about the title girl (Chloe Mantripp) and her stepfather (Gary Grant) who arrive in Germany but are desperately struggling financially so she takes it upon herself to be the provider to the household by robbing and killing innocent victims and turning the streets of Germany into a bloodbath. Dull in the extreme and doesn’t even offer the saving grace of cheap thrills or scares or any humor; if the title is supposed to be a play on words, this makes the “Hellraiser” remake (or any of its sequels) look like Masterpiece Theater by comparison. Continue reading →
August 28, 2024 “They Are Watching” (** out of four) was a tame horror mockumentary about two friends (Keegan Macy and J.M. Stelly) who decide to explore the underbelly of the dark web and instead find themselves in danger from a group who is involved with online torture rooms. Has a few good scenes initially and both characters are ruminative and intelligent but it becomes wearying after a while and starts to dissipate. Not bad but you’ll likely want to stop “watching” after about 45 minutes. Stelly also wrote and directed. Continue reading →
August 28, 2024 “I Met My Murderer Online” (**1/2 out of four) was a somewhat gripping adaptation of the true-crime television series about a group of murderers that stemmed from online meetings involving drugs and casual sex. Mostly for fans of the television series and not for the squeamish but does show intriguing coverage of the dangers of internet dating and how it’s linked to danger and murder. Be careful who you’re talking to out there! Continue reading →
August 28, 2024 “Crystal Lake” (* out of four) was an abysmal timewaster about a group of friends (Karie Gwen, Jackie Imala, Tyler Jones-Palmer, and others) who go to a vacation house for a weekend of partying but are besieged by (loud yawn) a homicidal killer and cops (Joe Tyler and Dan Ferry) who are a little off their rocker. Title is an obvious allusion for horror fans to “Friday The 13th” (a creepy neighbor is also named Jason for an extra nudge in the ribs) but all similarities end there, as film is pointless, stupid, and boring. Imala’s spunky performance is film’s sole virtue. Continue reading →
August 28, 2024 “Taken From Rio Bravo” (** out of four) was a thoroughly routine Western about two friends (Cynthia Rothrock and Matthias Hues) and their Indian guide (Don Wilson) who rescue kidnapped women from various sex traffickers leading to all-out war on the Mexican border. Features the usual Western vistas, gunfights, saloon drinking, etc. etc. but is for hard-core Western completists only. Not bad but just the working definition of competent mediocrity. Continue reading →
August 28, 2024 “Place Of Bones” (** out of four) was a superfluous melodrama set in 1876 in which a determined mother (Heather Graham) is alone on a remote ranch with her daughter but tries to adamantly defend it against a gang of ruthless outlaws who want her out. Well-made and features a solid performance from Graham as usual but she’s about a century too contemporary for this type of role and period piece. Film keeps you watching but is never as riveting or as involving as you want. Continue reading →
August 28, 2024 “The Crow” (* out of four) was an inferior-in-every-way remake of the 1994 gothic masterpiece about a young man (Bill Skarsgard) and his girlfriend (FKA Twigs) who are brutally murdered by underworld thugs (Danny Huston, Laura Birn, and others) and he is resurrected from the grave to traverse the world of the living and the dead to enact revenge. With all the searing emotional power and mesmerizing visual poetry of the original removed (and even the action scenes poorly staged and shot), what’s left is a routine revenge thriller and a desecration of what writer thought was the best graphic-novel adaptation of all time. Some things literally need to rest in peace. Continue reading →
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