Month: August 2024

“Jurassic Triangle” (** out of four) was a serviceable sci/fi smorgasborg about a group of scientists (Chrissie Wunna, Danielle Scott, Sian Altman, and others) who crashland on an ancient island and discover they are not alone and there are a group of blood-thirsty dinosaurs out on the prowl and they have to fight back to escape and survive. Yet another knockoff of “Jurassic Park”/”Jurassic World” (hence the title) without many surprises but having said that- the acting is solid, the visual effects are strong, and it remains watchable throughout.

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“Sky Monster” (*1/2 out of four) was a tacky sci/fi thriller about a group of friends (Betsy-Blue English, May Kelly, Evangelina Burton, and others) who are partying on a plane when they are sucked into the Bermuda Triangle and are overtaken by an unholy monster who attempts to derail the plane and kill them all one-by-one. Redeemed only by some good visual effects in the final third but by then film is too far gone for it to matter. A few scenes may remind you of “Snakes On A Plane” but unfortunately Samuel L. Jackson is not present here.

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“Hillock Haunting” (* out of four) was amateur hour about a man (Robin Winton) who inherits a family farm and moves there with his 2 daughters (Ashley Hays Wright and Cadence Wright) and finds out that (yawn) there is a sinister and evil force lurking which overtakes and threatens them all. Yet another DIY project which looks like it was made by someone on their cell-phone camera; even beyond the minimalistic filmmaking and production values, though, filmmakers forgot to bring scares or literally any excitement or dramatic interest to the party. Hays Wright also directed.

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“The Jack In The Box Rises” (*1/2 out of four) was a sputtering horror sequel about the title evil incarnate who is discovered on the grounds of an exclusive girls’ prep school and numerous students (Isabella Colby Browne, Leona Clarke, and others) discover it and have to fight to the death to prevent it from opening and spreading and unleashing. Strictly for those who thought the original “Jack In The Box” was robbed at the Oscar shows; either way, film is no prize in terms of craftsmanship or scares and gets stale pretty quickly. It’s films like this that make you realize how great the original “Child’s Play” was by comparison.

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“Gossip To Die For” (** out of four) was a mostly routine pulp suspense thriller about a troubled NYPD detective (Susan Ateh) who is scrambling to solve a series of high-profile murders that are predicted when published online and she clashes with a fellow detective (Jay Rincon) as they race against the clock to prevent further murders. Rock-solid performance from Ateh and some occasional hard-boiled dialogue aren’t enough to give this much distinction from other suspense thrillers. Originally titled “Deadly Gossip.”

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“Shark Warning” (*1/2 out of four) was yet another needless killer-shark movie about a man (Andrew J. Katers) who returns to his hometown 2 decades after a shark killed his brother; upon finding out that the same shark is still roving in the waters, he gathers up various friends and family (David Chokachi, Angela Cole, and others) to hunt it down and kill it once and for all. Film’s poster will likely remind you of “Jaws” and so will virtually everything else in the film, except that was done with supreme skill and tension and still holds up well nearly 50 years later. You likely won’t remember this one 50 hours from now.

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“Earthquake Underground” (** out of four) was a meager disaster thriller about a young architect (Matthew Gademske) who struggles to save his pregnant girlfriend (Angela Cole) after a massive earthquake submerges the hotel they are staying in and the city around them is collapsing. Strictly-by-the-numbers action movie made for disaster-movie addicts but the only intermittent visual effects and pedestrian dialogue will likely leave them as disinterested as everyone else. What is up with all of the nonstop disaster movies lately?

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