September 28, 2025 “First Moon” (0 stars out of four) was an excruciating horror clunker about a young waitress (Lauren Esposito) who is abducted by a sadistic religious cult who believe she has (get this) a sexually transmitted disease from a werewolf and that she has to be given a religious exorcism to purge herself but she has to fight back and escape before the arrival of the first moon. Or something like that. Hard to tell which is more painful, the lead-footed and inept direction or lead Esposito’s ANNOYING (let me re-emphasize that word) screams but either way it’s an unwatchable bore. This fiasco makes even the crummiest “Exorcism” sequel look like “Psycho” by comparison. Continue reading →
September 28, 2025 “The Haunting At Jack The Ripper’s House” (*1/2 out of four) was a drably done horror thriller about a group of YouTube paranormal investigators (Natasha Tosini, Stephen Staley, Kelly Rian Sanson and others) who set out to show their audience that they are not faking their haunts by camping out in old Jack’s house but soon find to their dismay that their is a Jack copycat killer running amok. Trivial timewaster full of annoying characters you can’t wait to see slashed. Film’s title makes little sense since Jack The Ripper’s identity- and thus his address- was to this day unknown. Continue reading →
September 28, 2025 “Deer Camp ’86” (* out of four) was a turkey in deer’s clothing about a group of moronic friends (Noah LaLonde, Jay J. Bidwell, Arthur Cartwright, and others) who travel to Detroit for a camping/hunting trip and (yawn) find out that they’re really the ones being hunted by a malevolent force with murderous intentions. Film’s title is somewhat appropriate since most of the actors look deers-in-headlights and even the murder scenes are botched and badly staged. Set for no apparent reason in 1986; for no apparent reason should you see this either. Continue reading →
September 28, 2025 “Mauler” (*1/2 out of four) was a pretty awful horror thriller about a group of friends (Kate Noel, Breck Cuddy, Tanya Champoux, and others) who enter a creepy murder house and a $25,000 dark-web contest but soon find that there is a maniac on the loose who’s intent on killing them one-by-one on camera. Inept timewaster practically mauls the audience with terrible acting and dialogue. Incredibly- this film seems inspired by (and rips off) the even worse “Halloween: Resurrection” and “The Blair Witch Project 2.” Can’t ANYONE make an effective horror movie these days??? Continue reading →
September 28, 2025 “Witchboard” (0 stars out of four) was a worthless remake of the superior (and underrated) 1986 cult classic about a couple (Madison Iseman and Aaron Dominguez) who play around with a ouija board and awaken and summon a dark spirit that haunts them and threatens to kill them and everyone around them. Unbearably dull collection of cliches from various ouija-horror movies with cheap production values and tacky filmmaking being the icing on the moldy cake. And it goes on (what feels like) forever! A major disappointment and step down from director Chuck Russell who in better days directed one of Arnold’s best movies “Eraser.” Continue reading →
September 28, 2025 “Freakier Friday” (** out of four) was a superficial sequel to the 2003 smash about the continuing misadventures of mom-and-daughter (Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan) and her daughter’s now-teenage daughter (Julia Butters) and how they all have a personality swap and extended identity crisis. Enthusiastic performances from its high-spirited cast help but it’s awfully thin stuff and runs out of steam (and story) far before its 2 hours are up. A bright finale might make you smile anyway. Fans of the original (I wasn’t) might like this better. Continue reading →
September 28, 2025 “Full Moon Fever” (* out of four) was a full-on bore about a wealthy man (David Lee Madison) who is attacked in the woods one night and has to unfortunately count down (along with the audience) until when he becomes a werewolf. Allegedly “inspired” somehow by the classic Tom Petty album of the same name but other Petty song titles like “About To Give Out”, “You Wreck Me” and (especially) “Let Me Up- I’ve Had Enough” describe what it’s like sitting through this. Madison directed also and evidently watched “The Howling” and “Wolf” a few times before filming this timewaster. Continue reading →
September 28, 2025 “The Fantastic Four: First Steps” (*** out of four) was a rock-solid retelling of the comic-book series about the title foursome (Pedro Pascal, Reed Richards, Ebon Moss-Bachrach, Joseph Quinn) who have to defend Earth against the evil forces of Galactus (Ralph Ineson) and the enigma of the Silver Surfer who threaten world domination. Not exactly fantastic but by far the best of the series’ adaptations with strong acting from Pascal in particular and some spectacular visual effects and action scenes especially in the final third to give fans their money’s worth. Fittingly enough- this is the fourth adaptation and the one where they finally got it right! Continue reading →
September 28, 2025 “The Conjuring: Last Rites” (**1/2 out of four) was a well-crafted sequel in this endless series about the two paranormal investigators (Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson) who have to take on one last case involving mysterious entities that question their state of reality as they have to utilize all their past investigative knowledge to try and survive. One of the better series entries, thanks to some good soundtrack selections and occasional scares………….but it’s still pretty thin stuff and (like other entries) goes on way too long. Series fans (I’m not) will likely like this better but it’s about time horror filmmakers “conjured” up some new ideas. Continue reading →
September 28, 2025 “Afterburn” (**1/2 out of four) was an efficient B-movie action melodrama set in the not-too-distant future in which a massive solar flare has destroyed the Earth’s eastern hemisphere and a mercenary for hire (Dave Bautista) is hired by a malevolent millionaire (Samuel L. Jackson) to travel to Europe to steal the Mona Lisa painting and finds a beautiful woman (Olga Kurylenko) but encounters bloodthirsty treachery every step of the way. Very mechanical movie mirrors the sort of 80’s action vehicles you would see with Chuck Norris and Jean Claude Van Damme but having said that- it’s filled with action and has some humorous dialogue. Bautista is strong in the lead and Jackson dominates his scenes as always. Continue reading →
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