January 27, 2023 “The Plot To Kill My Mother” (*1/2 out of four) was an illogical suspense melodrama about a young woman (Romy Weltman) who grew up in federal witness protection and reels after the loss of her mother but soon uncovers various information that leads her to question everything she has accepted as truth in her life. Allegedly based on a true story but hard to believe since the majority of the movie rings false and hollow. Weltman’s sincere performance is flattened by film’s pat screenplay and direction and predictable “plotting.” Continue reading →
January 26, 2023 “Night Train” (*1/2 out of four) was a stalled action thriller about a single mom (Danielle C. Ryan) unable to stay afloat financially as a teamster who starts working on the black market running medical supplies and drugs while attempting to evade capture from a ruthless F.B.I. agent (Ivan Sergei) who tries to anticipate her every move. Routine and boring action made out of spare parts of too many other past thrillers. Both director Shane Stanley and star Ryan both made last year’s “Double Threat” which had virtually the same story and plot points. Continue reading →
January 26, 2023 “Candy Land” (0 stars out of four) was a terminally sour horror potboiler for freaks and masochists only about a young woman (Olivia Luccardi) who immerses herself into the world of underground truck-stop sex workers and realizes she has found her true calling in life but this feeling of bliss is interrupted by finding out that one of her sisters-in-commerce is a killer. Sleazy and stupid (and proud of it) but also logy and boring; the very definition of a worthless film. William Baldwin sleepwalks his way through a dreadful performance as the town sheriff. Film climaxes with Crowded House’s classic “Don’t Dream It’s Over” but trust me- any and all viewers by that point will be preying this is over as soon as possible. Continue reading →
January 26, 2023 “Attack Of The 50 Foot Camgirl” (* out of four) was an abysmal horror comedy about a popular social media personality (Ivy Smith) who ingests an unknown formula and becomes a gargantuan 50-foot giant while her husband and his friend (Eli Cirino and Christine Nguyen) plot her destruction. Grade-Z throwback to broad comedies and monster movies of the 50’s and 60’s; most of the laughs are unintentional and come from the dreadful acting and certain parts might actually remind you of “Honey, I Blew Up The Kid.” Film is only a little more than an hour long but believe me you won’t be complaining. Continue reading →
January 25, 2023 “Play Dead” (*1/2 out of four) was an abjectly tedious horror thriller about a young criminology student (Bailee Madison) who fakes her death to be able to get into the city morgue to try to obtain crucial evidence but soon finds that the coroner (Jerry O’Connell) is a serious sicko and she has to play dead in order to survive and stay alive and escape. One-note story is made with little tension or suspense and goes on endlessly at nearly two hours. O’Connell is woefully miscast as the coroner; this effort is unlikely to bring his career back from the “dead.” Continue reading →
January 25, 2023 “Don’t Look Deeper” (** out of four) was a generic sci/fi melodrama about a typical disaffected teenager (Helena Howard) who begins to suspect she’s something less-than-human and begins to uncover various factions of artificial intelligence that have rumblings involving everyone around her. Sincere performance from Howard can’t enliven tired proceedings combining teenage angst and futuristic intelligence. Director Catherine Hardwicke (“Thirteen”, “Twilight”) once again shows her empathic connection to youth and outcasts but don’t look for much “deeper” than that here. Continue reading →
January 25, 2023 “Betrayed By My Bridesmaid” (*1/2 out of four) was a subpar suspense melodrama about a newlywed couple (Ashley Dakin and Steven He) who discover to their shock that her bridesmaid (Shana Goodman) is trying to splinter them apart after they find out too little/too late that she is a sociopath (or is it a psychopath?) Yet another thriller made for those- and only for those- who’ve never seen a thriller before. Film is so by-the-numbers it could have just been spit out of a computer. Watch “Betrayed” or “Bridesmaids” instead. Continue reading →
January 25, 2023 “Black Warrant” (** out of four) was a reheated and rehashed action potboiler about a retired C.I.A. agent (Tom Berenger) who is recruited by an old pal (Jeff Fahey) to stop a multi-tentacled terrorist organization and teams up with a hard-nosed D.E.A. agent (Cam Gigandet) when the organization tries to attack the nation’s power grid. Good cast attempts to add spice to a very old recipe as film is a stale cocktail blender of Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, and Jason Bourne. Film’s story and co-script were by actor Michael Pare. Continue reading →
January 25, 2023 “All Eyes” (* out of me) was a practically worthless horror potboiler about a disgraced podcast journalist (Jasper Hammer) who interviews an eccentric farmer (Ben Hall) who claims to have (yawn) paranormal activity and monsters on his farm property. Unfortunately, neither the journalist nor the farmer nor any of the horror activity are the least bit interesting (or original) so it’s a real snooze. This apparently was a family affair because director Todd Greenlee and writer Alex Greenlee and other Greenlee family members all have cameos but there’s not much worth seeing here. Continue reading →
January 25, 2023 “The Price You Pay” (*** out of four) was a sturdy horror thriller about a bank robber (Stephen Dorff), his psychopathic accomplice (Emile Hirsch- looking bizarrely like Jack Black), and others (Gigi Zumbado and Tanner Zagarino) who take refuge in a farmhouse from a young boy (Tyler Sanders) but soon find that they are in for a long night of unspeakable horror. Unexpectedly strong movie is done in the vein of “From Dusk Till Dawn” where first half is a moody crime thriller and second becomes a goofy horror blowout. Starts to lose its grip in the final third but script is much sharper than you would expect. Dorff is excellent as usual. Sadly, the 18-year old Sanders died after completion from a fetanyl overdose. Continue reading →
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