January 25, 2023 “There’s Something Wrong With The Children” (*1/2 out of four) was a lame horror thriller about a family (Amanda Crew, Zach Gilford, David Mattel, and others) who goes on vacation and things go astray when the children start disappearing in the woods in the middle of the night (hence the film’s title). Strictly by-the-numbers ripoff of “Village Of The Damned”, for those who never saw the original or even its remake. Inauspicious feature-film directing debut for noted television director Roxanne Benjamin. “There’s Something Wrong With The Movie” would be a better title for this clunker. Continue reading →
January 25, 2023 “Detective Knight: Independence” (** out of four) was a tepid third entry about title Detective Knight (Bruce Willis) who is assigned to stop a former EMS worker (Jack Kilmer) who has become unhinged and a deadly threat to the city. Final entry in this series is more-or-less on par with the first two; not bad but derived from too many other Willis cop movies, “Heat” (which starred Kilmer’s dad Val), and in one key scene “The Dark Knight Rises.” Willis’ real-life health problems are all-too-evident as he’s hardly in much of the movie and most of his dialogue seems dubbed. Lochlyn Munro once again adds some punch as a hard-nosed cop. Continue reading →
January 25, 2023 “Burned By Love” (*1/2 out of four) was a thuddingly predictable suspenser about a woman recently divorced (Shiva Negar) who meets a Mr. Perfect (Dillon Casey) online who seems wonderful on the surface but the more she learns about him, the more she realizes he is (what else?) a sociopath intent on turning her life upside-down. Virtually anyone who has seen a thriller will be able to predict this entire film within the first 15 minutes and remaining hour-and-15-minutes after are almost guaranteed suspense-free. Hard to believe 35 years later they’re still ripping off “Fatal Attraction” but seeing is believing. Continue reading →
January 18, 2023 “The Haunting At Death Valley Junction” (*1/2 out of four) was a meager horror thriller about a team of reality-television investigators (Ernell Mainibat, Victoria Vineiros, and others) who set out to investigate ghosts but (yawn) end up stumbling onto the real thing and find that their lives may be in jeopardy. Umpteenth low-budget film about ghosts, reality television, found-footage horror, etc. Film looks like it was made by college film students with their collective allowances. This will likely wind up buried in death valley soon. Continue reading →
January 18, 2023 “Halloween Friends” (0 stars out of four) was an indescribably awful horror show about the various siblings (Kristen Lundberg, Natalie Polisson, Taylor Storm, and others) of the famous movie killers Freddie, Jason, and Michael who all sit around in terrible wigs and makeup commiserating about their lives and sibling rivalries. Oh and byetheway- one of the Sesame Street characters (and their sister) makes an appearance too. Result is so dreadful that you almost have to give points of audacity for whomever the filmmakers are but by no means at all is that a recommendation. Title is likely an allusion to the recent “Halloween Ends” but trust me this film makes that look like Sir Arthur Conan Doyle by comparison. Continue reading →
January 18, 2023 “Burned By Love” (*1/2 out of four) was a thuddingly predictable suspenser about a woman recently divorced (Shiva Negar) who meets a Mr. Perfect (Dillon Casey) online who seems wonderful on the surface but the more she learns about him, the more she realizes he is (what else?) a sociopath intent on turning her life upside-down. Virtually anyone who has seen a thriller will be able to predict this entire film within the first 15 minutes and remaining hour-and-15-minutes after are almost guaranteed suspense-free. Hard to believe 35 years later they’re still ripping off “Fatal Attraction” but seeing is believing. Continue reading →
January 17, 2023 “Criminal Audition” (* out of four) was a criminally dull melodrama about an ex-lawyer (Rich Keeble) and his team who run an underworld service in which law-abiding citizens take on other’s crimes but one of a new group of civilians (Rebecca Calienda, Blain Neale, and Ben Scheck) they take in turns the tables on them and they all have to play a game of psychological and physical warfare against one another to survive the night. Originally written as a play in which it may have worked better but as a feature-film- it’s static and boring. Film is only an hour-and-a-half long but feels like an endless day in court. Continue reading →
January 17, 2023 “Plane” (**1/2 out of four) was an adequately done action thriller about a pilot (Gerard Butler) who is forced to crashland his plane in the midst of a deadly storm but they are all soon besieged by vicious pirates and he has to team up with a convicted murderer (Mike Colter) on the plane as his only hope to thwart them and stay alive. Never rises above the routine but has enough shootings and some hair-raising suspense to keep action junkies entertained. Butler gives his usual square-jawed conviction and Tony Goldwynn has his best role in years as a supportive air-traffic control specialist. Continue reading →
January 17, 2023 “A Man Called Otto” (** out of four) was a disappointing comedy melodrama about a grumpy old widow (Tom Hanks) who has decided to end it all following the recent death of his wife but he soon forges a friendship with a new neighbor (Mariana Trevino) which gives them both a new lease on life. Hanks is always worth watching but film earnestly meanders for over two hours and is never particularly moving or funny. This was a remake of the 2016 Swedish film of the same name. In one scene, Hanks’ face has to be digitally de-aged using old footage of him from 1989’s “The Burbs”; his son Truman plays him as a younger character in other scenes. Continue reading →
January 17, 2023 “The Devil’s Conspiracy” (*** out of four) was a crackling horror thriller about a Satanic cult that steals the Shroud Of Turin for apocalyptic purposes and it’s up to some concerned locals (Alice Orr-Ewing and Joe Doyle) to combat them and Lucifer (Joe Anderson) himself to steal it back and thus save the world. Gonzo storyline is made entertaining by never stopping moving, never taking itself too seriously, and giving viewers flashy and stylish effects and action to take in. A solid-B effort and strong showing from director Nathan Frankowski. Continue reading →
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