February 19, 2022 “Uncharted” (** out of four) was a noisy adaptation of the Sony videogame about a young street-smart (Tom Holland) who is recruited by a seasoned treasure hunter (Mark Wahlberg) to recover a lost fortune from 500 years ago but soon find that they have to race against a ruthless kingpin (Antonio Banderas) who believes he is the rightful heir of the money. The film equivalent of empty calories with lots of action and wall-to-wall effects but little story or characters to hang them on. An all-too-typical movie video game adaptation although fans of the game may like it more and fans of the genre may find it like a junior-version of “Indiana Jones.” Continue reading →
February 18, 2022 “Flee The Light” (*1/2 out of four) was a disjointed horror psychodrama about a psychology student (Annie Tuma) who attempts to cure her sister’s (Ariana Marquis) crippling mental health problems but finds that they are rooted in (yawn) an ancient creature intent on claiming both their souls. Some stylish directing flourishes are lost in film’s overall monotony and unpleasantness. This was a big winner at Toronto’s indie horror fest but I guess they have to get out more often. “Flee The Movie” would be a better title for this clunker. Continue reading →
February 16, 2022 “Jackass Forever” (*1/2 out of four) was a dismal continuation of this hugely successful series about the reuniting of the crew (Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, and others) after 11 years who continue their endless pranks and stunts and somehow manage to stay alive and always keep laughing. Crude and stupid and proud of it- film is strictly for those who thought the previous entries were robbed at Oscar time. Knoxville and the boys seem to be having fun but it’s awfully hard to take after a while. Fourth and (hopefully) final entry unless they want to make “Jackass Goes To The Retirement Home” in another 11 years. Continue reading →
February 14, 2022 “Shut In” (*1/2 out of four) was a desultory suspense thriller about a single mom (Rainey Qualley) who is locked in a closet by her abusive former boyfriend (Jake Horowitz) and child-molester friend (Vincent Gallo) who in turn threaten her children so she has to outsmart them and stay alive and try to escape. Yet another woman-in-jeopardy/woman-stuck-in-the-house thriller which makes the viewer simultaneously feel stuck. Qualley’s strong performance is the one bright spot for this one-note and (at times) deeply unpleasant film. A disappointment from director D.J. Caruso who did solid work on “Eagle Eye” and “Disturbia.” Continue reading →
February 12, 2022 “Blacklight” (** out of four) was a by-the-numbers Liam Neeson action potboiler starring him as (what else?) a shadowy former government operative who begins to unravel a widespread conspiracy involving the F.B.I. director (Aidan Quinn) once a fellow operative (Taylor John Smith) is murdered and he takes it on the run killing anything and everything that gets in his way. Needlessly murky and overly routine with only Neeson’s effortless charisma to support it although even he seems to be simply going through the motions here. This was actually written by former U.S. Department Of Justice attorney Nick May but regardless- this feels just “Bourne” again. Continue reading →
February 12, 2022 “Those Who Walk Away” (*1/2 out of four) was a maddening horror melodrama about a young man (Booboo Stewart) who meets a woman (Scarlett Sperduto) on a dating app and agrees to go back to her house but soon realizes all-too-late she is a nutjob who imprisons him in her house and he has to do everything he can to preserve his sanity while he tries to escape. It’s much easier to simply escape the film instead. Creepy at first but soon sputters to a halt and becomes unbearably tedious and pretentious. Viewers would best take a cue and “walk away” from this one. Continue reading →
February 10, 2022 “60 Seconds To Live” (0 stars out of four) was an unwatchable freak show for masochists and prospective serial-killers only which basically consists of a series of unrelated 60-second clips of people being killed in meaningless and gruesome ways. Don’t look for any more plot than that or anything else either. Brought to you by the same studio that made “60 Seconds To Die” and “60 Seconds To Sleep” but this literally looks like a collection of somebody’s bad cell-phone videos. A mind-numbing ripoff of “Faces Of Death” but at least that movie had some style and craft. Avoid like COVID. Continue reading →
February 10, 2022 “The Tiger Rising” (** out of four) was a saccharine adaptation of Kate DiCamillo’s children story about a young outcast (Christian Convery) who forms a friendship with a new female student (Madalen Mills) and they both form a bond with a caged tiger in the middle of the woods who helps them to escape from the trouble of their own turbulent home lives. Best performance in the movie is by the tiger itself but he’s on screen for only a precious few minutes; Dennis Quaid and Queen Latifah are wasted in nondescript supporting roles. Only the ending achieves any genuine emotion. Young kids may like it anyway. Continue reading →
February 9, 2022 “Alone With You” (*1/2 out of four) was a tedious, talky horror psychodrama about a young woman (Emily Bennett) who starts to mentally unravel as she prepares for a visit from her girlfriend and starts to encounter voices and hallucinations but are they real or is she losing her mind? Umpteenth derivation of “The Shining” may make the viewers want to seek mental health treatment by the time this is over. Bennett is mostly the whole show here and also co-wrote and co-directed this but it’s awfully self-indulgent and unpleasant. Continue reading →
February 8, 2022 “The Long Night” (*1/2 out of four) was a grueling horror melodrama about a young couple (Scout Taylor Compton and Nolan Gerard Funk) off on a weekend getaway which takes a nightmarish turn when a maniacal cult and their satanical leader (Deborah Kara Unger) descend on their cabin. Result is such a brazen knockoff of “The Strangers” that it’s strange they didn’t just call this a remake or a sequel but either way it’s monotonous and dumb. Compton and Funk previously starred together in “Triple Dog” but this reunion for them is a real dog. Continue reading →
dlepikcom 