Author: dlepikcom

“Zeros And Ones” (*1/2 out of four) was a dreary political thriller about a world-weary soldier (Ethan Hawke) called to Rome to stop an imminent terrorist bombing and has to navigate some of the darkest streets and underworlds in Italy to race against time and keep the Vatican from being blown apart! Sounds juicy and jolting but is instead an aimless bore. Director Abel Ferrara’s attempt at making a topical thriller with allusions to political imprisonment and COVID but it’s even more self-indulgent and weird than most his other works. Not quite a “zero” but hardly worth checking out either.

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“The Towel Man” (0 stars out of four) was an unbearably inept and ugly horror thriller about a serial rapist known as The Towel Man who terrorizes women (Stephanie Elliot, Ashley Jones, and others) in a small town. Don’t look for more plot than that or anything else for that matter. To call this amateur night in terms of production and filmmaking would be an overstatement as it looks as if it was shot and filmed on someone’s cruddy T-Mobile phone. Film only runs a little over an hour long but believe me- you’ll want to throw in the “towel” long before then. Avoid like COVID.

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“The Spore” (*1/2 out of four) was an enervated horror thriller about the intersection of the lives of various strangers (Jeanie Jeffries, Haley Heslip, Peter Tell, and others) who are consumed by a mutating fungus that spreads through their small town and threatens to kill them all. Lame attempt at a “topical” horror thriller with underlying themes and allusions to COVID but the movie this actually rips off the most is “Night Of The Living Dead.” Good production values are unfortunately eradicated by routine story and execution.

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“Mortal Kombat Legends: Battle Of The Realms” (*** out of four) was a colorfully done animated final entry in this extravaganza series the Kombat heroes (voices of Jennifer Carpenter, Joel McHale, Ike Amadi, and others) who must journey to the outworld to fight for the survival of their homeland which has been invaded and overtaken by the evil warlord Shao Kahn (voice of Fred Tatasciore). Plot is hardly worth following but it makes all the right moves for Kombat fans with nonstop martial arts action and hand-to-hand fights and some striking and psychedelic animation as well. Either way, it’s far more entertaining than the last “Mortal Kombat” live-action reboot.

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“Defining Moments” (** out of four) was a treacly serio-comedy about the intersection of various lives (Burt Reynolds, Sienna Guillory, and Tammy Blanchard) who realize they are at an important junction of their lives and need to consider settling down, long-term legalities involving their elderly relatives, etc. Earnest and well-intentioned film is also mawkish and has hardly any story to hold it together. Plays more like a t.v. movie than a theatrical release. Film’s only “defining moment” is its Reynolds’ final film but “The Last Movie Star” was a much more fitting movie epitaph for him.

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“Double Walker” (** out of four) was a sterile horror melodrama about a young woman (Sylvie Mix) who dies and her ghost subsequently investigates the incidents that led to her own murder which causes her to question the friends and family she thought she trusted. Elegantly made with some stylistic Kubrickian homages to “The Shining” but never fully comes alive and takes flight. Refreshingly short at only 71 minutes and not without interest but only worth it for die-hard psychological horror fans.

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“Home Sweet Home Alone” (*1/2 out of four) was a charmless entry in this now-wearisome series about a 10-year old tyke (Archie Yates) who is left home alone by his parents and must defend his household when it is under siege from two clueless criminals (Rob Delaney and Ellie Kemper). It’s unclear whether this is a reboot or yet another sequel but either way- it’s a stale rehash of the 1990 Christmas classic. What was original and enchanting in the original is clumsy and dumb in this version. Ham-handed overacting from the cast doesn’t help matters. Devin Ratray reprises his role as Buzz from the original but to be kind- he would have fared better staying home and counting his residuals instead.

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“The Accursed” (*1/2 out of four) was dull gobblygook about a woman (Yancy Butler) who spends 20 years hiding the evils of a maleficent curse that was placed on her bloodline until a family member (Izabela Vidovic) accidentally unleashes the curse and all Hell breaks loose. Or something like that. Nonsensical storyline is told colorlessly and ploddingly and soon sputters nowhere. Butler tries but her career at this point is what really seems cursed. Watch “The Accused” instead.

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“Hideout” (* out of four) was a reprehensible melodrama about a group of none-too-bright criminals (Bryan Enright, Katie Lyons, Eric Frances Melargni, and Chris Wolfe) who enter the house of a family (Janice LaFlam, Audrey Kovar, and others) who are not what they appear and they soon turn the tables on the home invaders turning the victimizers into (yawn) victims. Superficial amalgam of “Desperate Hours”, “The Purge”, “Reservoir Dogs”, and too many others to mention gives you no one to root for since the good guys are as dull and unlikeable as the villains. Hide away from this clunker instead.

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“Last Night In Soho” (**1/2 out of four) was an arch-to-a-fault melodrama about an aspiring singer (Thomas McKenzie) who finds she is mysteriously able to enter the 1960’s through her own dreamscape; initially she’s overwhelmed by the glitz and glamour but soon begins to find out there is something darker and more disturbing going on and her sanity gradually begins to slip away. Visually dazzling at times and McKenzie is outstanding in the lead and there are some sequences that are hallucinatory…………but after a while, film becomes a bit numbing and lurid especially in its final third which is highly bizarre and over-the-top. A definite mixed bag and not for all tastes although an interesting attempt at Kubrickian horror by writer/director Edgar Wright.

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