Author: dlepikcom

“Anonymous Animals” (* out of four) was a rabid bore set in a remote countryside in which the balance between man and animal has changed and any encounter between the two can turn to hostility and bloodshed and several residents (Thierry Marcos, Pauline Guilpain, Aurelien Chilarski, and others) struggle to make sense of this new world order and survive. Many critics somehow loved this pretentious and molasses-moving mess but I’m surely not one of them; film takes forever to get going and to comprehend but even then it’s not worth the bother. Kevin Brunet and Emmanuel Dauchy’s crisp cinematography is pretty at times but otherwise proceed at your own peril.

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“Rise Of The Footsoldier: Origins” (** out of four) was a lukewarm origin story set in the 1980’s British underworld showing how Tucker (Terry Stone), Rolfie (Roland Manookian), and Pat Tate (Craig Fairbrass) united to form their own firm and become criminal kingpins. Lots of great pulsating ’80’s music can’t camouflage film’s thin storyline and overall weak script. Naturally, Vinnie Jones shows up also but can play this break-your-neck role in his sleep (will someone please get this guy a different role to play?) Final film in this series and based on a true story (like the original) and is mostly for dedicated series fans.

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“One Shot” (** out of four) was a muffled action thriller about an elite team of Navy Seals (Scott Adkins, Ryan Phillippe, Ashley Greene, and others) who embark on a covert mission to transport a prisoner from a C.I.A. prison but find themselves under attack when insurgents try to break in and rescue the same prisoner. Film moves fast enough and features enough intrigue and action to make it watchable but is hindered by overall routine and basic storyline and execution. One more film that pales in the shadow of the “Bourne” series. Phillippe gives his scenes a definite charge and pulse.

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“13 Minutes” (**1/2 out of four) was a reasonably well-done melodrama set in the Midwest and showing the intersection of four different families (Thora Birch, Amy Smart, Anne Heche, Peter Facinelli, Trace Adkins, and others) when a deadly tornado touches down and forces them all to re-examine their relationships and mistakes they made in their lives. Imagine “Twister” re-made as a Robert Altman/Jonathan Demme emotional drama and that’s more-or-less what this is; not a total success (it does lag at times) but an interesting attempt at doing something new and given a definite boost by its first-rate cast. Birch stands out in an excellent performance as a single mom.

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“Apex” (* out of four) was an inept remake of 1994’s “Surviving The Game” about five wealthy hunters (led by Neal McDonough) who play a game of hunting someone in the wilderness but their latest victim is an ex-cop (Bruce Willis) who proves to be a difficult hunt and turns the tables on them turning the hunters into the hunted. Original film was far from a classic but at least it had beautiful cinematography and some good dialogue and action scenes; this film is an incoherent bore. Willis sleepwalks his way through his umpteenth paycheck action role and McDonough is alternately hammy and overacting. Film is hardly the “apex” of either of their careers.

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“Slumber Party Massacre” (*1/2 out of four) was a completely pointless remake of the 1982 cult hit about a group of sorority girls (Hannah Gonera, Frances Sholto-Douglas, Mila Rayne, and others) who are chased to the death by a driller killer whose weapon of choice is a large electric drill (which somehow looked a lot scarier in the original). With the exception of some feminist themes and wordplay, this is a paint-by-numbers thriller without any sparks or scares. At least the original and its sequels had some unintentional yuks and screams.

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“Deadly Due Date” (*1/2 out of four) was a deadly predictable suspense thriller about a young couple (Ashlynn Yennie and Phillip Boyd) who run into a pregnant classmate (Ella Yannon) at their high-school reunion and agree to adopt her child but don’t realize she has sinister and subversive plans for them all. One more suspense thriller without much suspense and without much thrills since the story is so by-the-numbers and rudimentary. Glossy cinematography by Robert Vardaros is one of film’s few assets.

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“Planet Dune” (** out of four) was a pretty disposable action melodrama about a crew (Sean Young, Sharon Desiree, Sienna Farrall, and others) on a mission to rescue a marooned base on a desert planet who find themselves hunted and attacked by gigantic worms who live under the planet’s surface. Yet another cheap knockoff of a high-profile/big-budget blockbuster (in this case “Dune” if you couldn’t guess from its title) although the movie it rips off mostly is “Tremors”. Having said that, it’s fairly fast-moving and does have a few good action scenes. Not bad but not exactly worth running to the Redbox machine for either.

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“Antlers” (*1/2 out of four) was a flaccid horror thriller about a middle-school teacher (Keri Russell) and her brother (Jesse Plemons) whose a sherriff become embroiled with a mysterious student (Jeremy T. Thomas) who carries secrets that lead to terrifying encounters with an ancestral creature that threatens to end all their existence. Pale imitation of “Poltergeist” and also “The Sixth Sense” without much originality and with even lesser scares. Russell tries but is unable to enliven or enrich the proceedings; strong supporting actors Graham Greene, Amy Madigan, and Rory Cochrane are wasted in minor roles.

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“Paranormal Activity: Next Of Kin” (*1/2 out of four) was a torpid sequel in this never-ending series about a documentary filmmaker (Emily Bader) who goes to a secluded Amish community to learn more about her mother and long-lost relatives but soon finds that there is a lot more danger and deception in this community than it initially appears. Horror fans desperate for scares would better off watch “Witness” for more frightful material; this takes forever to get going and only the last 20 minutes deliver the mere goods. Supposedly this is a direct sequel to the original and ignores other entries but who cares? For “Paranormal” completists only.

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