June 5, 2021 “Brimstone Incorporated” (*1/2 out of four) was a lame and cheesy horror-anthology movie centered around a law firm that is also the gateway to hell and focuses on three stories involving a mama’s boy who then kills his mother, a first date gone horribly wrong, and a songwriter who smokes some very bad marijuana which leads to a series of mind-altering consequences. Only some excellent effects in the last of the stories gives this any distinction or spark but by then it’s too late in the game for it to matter. Film is only recommended for those who didn’t fully appreciate “Creepshow” or “Tales From The Darkside” at the time. Continue reading →
June 5, 2021 “Stalker” (** out of four) was a lurid pulp melodrama about a young man (Vincent Van Horn) who has just gotten to first-base with a new woman (Christine Ko) that he met when he meets and befriends an unstable Uber driver (Michael Lee Joplin) who turns out to be a nutcase who is intent on taking over and destroying his life. Good acting and filmmaking hold your attention for a little while but after a while you’ll be numbed by the unpleasantness and violence. Final plot twist is arbitrary and unnecessary. Perhaps it’s time that filmmakers give the psycho Uber-and-taxi drivers stories a rest for a little while. Continue reading →
June 4, 2021 “Saltwater: The Battle For Ramree Island” (*1/2 out of four) was an anemic horror thriller set during WWII in which a group of soldiers (Charlie Bond, Steven Dolton, Ryan Harvey, and others) in search of a secret Japanese ammunition store instead find themselves in a fight for their lives against a group of deadly saltwater crocodiles in the heart of Ramree Island. Allegedly inspired by a true story in the war but that still doesn’t save film from being a dreary timewaster; even the crocodiles look bored (and pretty tacky also). You’d best watch the Science or Discovery Channel for more scares and excitement. Continue reading →
June 4, 2021 “The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It” (**1/2 out of four) was a reasonably efficient horror show about the Warren investigators (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) looking into more paranormal activity that has led to murder and may be linked to a 1981 murder trial that took place in Connecticut. Eight entry in this blockbuster horror series is actually one of the better entries with a sufficient amount of jumps, jolts, and scares and directed with style by Michael Chaves; still, though, it’s pretty thin stuff and is needlessly overlong at nearly two hours. Fans of the series will love it; others needn’t bother by this point. Continue reading →
June 4, 2021 “Once Upon A Time In The Apocalypse” (*1/2 out of four) was a lackluster melodrama set in the not-too-distant future in which a Civil War has ravaged the country leaving many dead and the rest (Robert Thomas Preston, Mig Windows, Larkin Hastings, and others) living in lawlessness and chaos as they try to re-establish order and stay alive. Not much plotwise and not much else to keep you entertained either; by now, there may have been several films too many about the desolate and distant future. Writer/director/co-producer Nathan Willard also has a supporting role as a survivor of the apocalypse. Continue reading →
June 4, 2021 “The Secrets She Keeps” (** out of four) was a suspenseless suspense thriller about a 16-year old (Zoe Cramond) who uses a dating app and lies about her age and (sure enough) meets up with a young charmer (Michael Vitovich) who turns out to be a serious sicko and soon both her and her mother (Emily Miceli) realize their lives are in jeopardy. It’s movies like these that make you wonder what filmmakers would have done had “Fatal Attraction” never been made. Overall well-directed and professionally made but is obvious at every turn and thus has no surprises and thus not many “secrets.” Originally titled “Dating A Killer”. Continue reading →
June 4, 2021 “Trapped Daughter” (*1/2 out of four) was a monotonous thriller about a girl (Kate Edmonds) and her former best friend (Nicole Danielle Watts) who are kidnapped by a vicious stalker and they must put aside their differences and unite to try and survive. But can they trust each other? Director Dylan Vox and cinematographer Ryan Brown try to infuse this with as much style and energy as they can but it’s all for nothing since the story is unpleasant and characters not very involving. Don’t bother getting “trapped” in this timewaster. Continue reading →
June 1, 2021 “Endangered Species” (** out of four) was an uneven action adventure about an upscale family (Rebecca Romijn, Phillip Winchester, Isabel Bassett, and Michael Johnston) who travel to the wilderness of Kenya for a family vacation hoping to repair growing rifts within the family but when a rhino attacks their vehicle and leaves them stranded in the wilderness, they find that they are the real endangered species and have to unite to survive and stay alive. Heavy-handed and slow-going at first but film starts to get moving in the second half and builds to some gradual and sporadic tension before dissolving into silliness. Jerry O’Connell has a key role as a fellow traveler who is connected to South Afircan poaching. Continue reading →
June 1, 2021 “A Quiet Place Part II” (**1/2 out of four) was a decent sequel to the surprise 2018 blockbuster about the Abbott family (Emily Blunt, John Krasinski, Millicent Simmonds, Noah Jupe) who are forced to venture into the outside world and into the unknown but continue to be terrorized by the same creatures that hunt by sound. A definite improvement (at least to me) of the original- at least there is some actual dialogue and action- but it still never fully shifts into high-gear and gets repetitive in its second half. Deserves points for being another horror film shot in upstate NY and Marco Beltrami’s music score and Polly Morgan’s atmospheric cinematography are definite plusses. Continue reading →
May 30, 2021 “Bigfoot’s Bride” (0 stars out of four) was an abjectly painful schlock horrorfest about Bigfoot (i.e. a guy in a very bad gorilla suit) who goes berserk in search of his lost bride in the woods and a series of concerned citizens and bad actors (Chris Ferrell, Devin Marcus Miller, Xia Orozco, and others) who get in his crosshairs. If Ed Wood were still alive today and making movies- this might be something he would have churned out; unspeakably awful filmmaking turns this into an unintentional laugh riot but film is also stupid and boring. Watch out for the blood-spurting that looks like exploding ketchup! Further proof (as if any were needed) that virtually anyone with a cell-phone nowadays can make their own movie Continue reading →
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