Author: dlepikcom

“Traumatika” (** out of four) was an uneven horror melodrama about a boy (Ranen Navat) whose mother (Emily Goss) begins to show signs of demonic possession which leads to the both of them encountering a whole series of psychological trauma and questioning their state of sanity and reality. Made of spare parts from other (and better) horror movies “The Amityville Horror” and “The Exorcist” but is at least made and directed with some style and colorfully lensed by Pierre Tsigaridis. Far from the worst of its kind but still doesn’t transcend its derivative origins.

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“Pursued” (*1/2 out of four) was an overlong, overdone horror thriller about a young girl (Miesha Tate) who uncovers a horrific murder online and takes matters into her own hands but is instead pursued by the killer who turns out to be far more ruthless and savage than she expected. Uninvolving story takes both too long to get going and too long to get where it’s going. Molly Ringwald has a minor role as the girl’s mother but based on this effort needs to be “pursuing” better roles for her comeback.

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“John Candy: I Like Me” (**1/2 out of four) was a heartfelt if somewhat superficial documentary about the legendary comedian which showcases his beginnings in Toronto, to his rise in standup comedy and SCTV, to being a beloved movie star, and his untimely death at 43. Doesn’t tell you very much about him that you didn’t already know but does feature lots of interviews from co-workers such as Steve Martin, Dan Aykroyd, Catherine O’Hara, and many others in showing an actor who was much the same offscreen as he was on. Directed by Tom Hanks’ son Colin and Hanks himself has a few key interview scenes.

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“Vicious” (*1/2 out of four) was a viciously dull time-waster about a young woman (Dakota Fanning) who is imprisoned in a house and has to fight for her existence against a sinister force but that finds that her mental health begins to fragment (and yours will too by the end). One-note movie in which even the one note is pretty flat; Fanning is good under the circumstances but is unable to enliven the tired material. Yet another movie which might have worked better as a one-character play. A disappointment from director Bryan Bertino who previously directed 2008’s “The Strangers.”

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“Movie Theater Massacre” (*1/2 out of four) was a paint-by-numbers slasher thriller about a group of employees (Jalen Wilson-Nalem, Adam DeFellippi, and others) working their last week at a move theater that is going out of business when a mysterious murderer shows up and starts killing them off one-by-one. Yet another movie that cites better movies like “Friday The 13th” and “Halloween” but rips them off instead. It’s lame schlock like this that are the reasons various theaters are going out of business.

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“Ballerina: From The World Of John Wick” (** out of four) was an interminable spin-off of the blockbuster series about a female assassin (Ana de Armas) out to avenge the death of her father and encounters deadly treachery and duplicity at every turn as she fights to stay alive. Drenched in style and action like most of the “John Wick” entries but also like those entries it becomes numbing and endless and resembles a video-game more than a film. Keanu Reeves shows up in a few key scenes as Mr. Wick. Directed by Len Wiseman but was re-edited and re-shot by original series creator Chad Stahelski. For Wick completists and fanatics, this supposedly takes place after the 3rd film.

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“Caught Stealing” (** out of four) was an ungainly pulp melodrama set in 1990’s NYC about a former baseball player (Austin Butler) who falls on hard times and becomes embroiled in the criminal underworld and locks horns with a street-smart cop (Regina King) who tries to outmaneuver him at every turn. Vibrant and gritty NYC atmosphere harks back to early period John Cassavetes or Nick Gomez but the central character and story are unappealing and thus uninvolving. A huge disappointment from director Darren Aronofsky who has done far better and richer character studies in the past. King is strong as usual but there’s otherwise not much else worth “stealing” here.

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“The Naked Gun” (** out of four) was a half-cocked remake of the 1988 comedy classic about the son (Liam Neeson) of Frank Drebbin who is just as bumbling as his dad as he investigates a ruthless businessman (Danny Huston) and falls in comic love with a femme fatale (Pamela Anderson). Opens with a very funny bank robbery scene and has some solid laughs in following half-hour but then fizzles out and goes flat and never recovers and is nowhere near as uproarious as the original (or any of its sequels). Neeson is game in one of his first comedy roles but can’t overcome the overall weak material.

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“The Toxic Avenger” (*1/2 out of four) was a mindless remake of the unwatchable 1984 Trauma horror comedy that somehow is now regarded as “a cult classic”; once again, a nerd janitor (Peter Dinklage) becomes transformed by toxic chemicals into a bloodthirsty avenger and does battle with a sinister underworld villain (Kevin Bacon- and what the hell is he doing in this movie?). Nowhere near as toxically awful and inept as the original and is colorfully shot by Dana Gonzales but still pretty ugly and stupid. For diehard toxie/Trauma fans only. Filmed in 2023 and languished on the shelf for years.

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“First Moon” (0 stars out of four) was an excruciating horror clunker about a young waitress (Lauren Esposito) who is abducted by a sadistic religious cult who believe she has (get this) a sexually transmitted disease from a werewolf and that she has to be given a religious exorcism to purge herself but she has to fight back and escape before the arrival of the first moon. Or something like that. Hard to tell which is more painful, the lead-footed and inept direction or lead Esposito’s ANNOYING (let me re-emphasize that word) screams but either way it’s an unwatchable bore. This fiasco makes even the crummiest “Exorcism” sequel look like “Psycho” by comparison.

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