Author: dlepikcom

“Baghead” (*1/2 out of four) was a moribund mess about a young woman (Freya Allan) who inherits a run-down pub but discovers the title evil entity (Anne Muler) lurking in its basement which enables you to talk to lost loved-ones but has severe paranormal consequences on all involved. Stupefyingly dull pileup of gloomy horror movie cliches about possession and the paranormal; by the end, you may just wish she got drunk instead and the movie was over. Based on a 2017 short-film of the same name and in this case less really is more.

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“Land Of Bad” (** out of four) was a pretty punfunctory action thriller about an elite army ODA team (Milo Ventimiglia, Ricky Whittle, Luke Helmsworth, and others) who are suddenly ambushed and their only hope lies with an Air Force officer (Liam Helmsworth) and a drone pilot (Russell Crowe) to guide them out and steer them all to safety. Cinema-lovers can pick apart the visual and dramatic derivations here from “Clear And Present Danger” to “Sniper” and countless others. Not bad but heavily basic and routine. Crowe seems to be playing an aged version of his sinister character from “Body Of Lies” although in fairness this is much better than that 2008 dud.

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“Box: Metaphor” (* out of four) was a metaphorically awful futuristic melodrama set in (yawn) yet another dystopian future in which a prisoner (Kasia Stelmach) is trapped inside a box which is the emblem of a systematic society of supervision and repression (or something like that) and she tries to keep her sanity and escape. Bewildering movie is a head-scratching bore from beginning to end with almost no dialogue and no story and thus no point. Eerie music score by Moksh Sharma is film’s only strong point. No relation to the 2009 Cameron Diaz/Richard Kelly disaster “The Box” but come to think of it is just as bad.

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“Air Force One Down” (** out of four) was a mundane action melodrama about a determined rookie Secret Service agent (Katherine McNamara) who boards the title plane while protecting the President (Ian Bohen doing his best impersonation of Gavin Newsom) but has to battle treachery when turncoat agents and terrorists seize control of the plane. Initially appears to be a remake of “Air Force One” but the plane gets grounded pretty quickly and so does film in routine action stylistics. Still overall watchable, though, and has a proficient amount of hand-to-hand combat and gunplay.

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“Amelia’s Children” (*1/2 out of four) was a misbegotten affair about a young man (Carloto Cotta) who searches for his family in Portugal and reunites with his long-lost mother and twin (Anabela Moreira and Alba Baptista) but soon finds that they have a dark secret that endangered their past and still endangers all of their futures together. Dour and downbeat film has a few effective moments but never builds to much and goes almost completely flat. Inauspicious directorial debut for noted producer and short filmmaker Gabriel Abrantes.

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“Down The Chimney With A Shotgun” (* out of four) was an unbearably awful horror “comedy” about a tortured wife (Nikki Carlson) whose sleazy and abusive husband (Eddie Benevich) comes back from the dead dressed up as Santa Claus and prepares to wreak more havoc. In-your-face and sleazy and stupid movie made with poor production values which are the icing on the moldy cake. For no apparent reason, Benevich’s character speaks almost exactly like “Macho Man” Randy Savage.

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“Attack Of The Meth Gator” (** out of four) was a cheesy horror thriller about a pile of meth drugs that are consumed by an alligator that turns them into a propulsive and murderous monster on the loose and the various townsfolk (LaRonn Marzett, Ray Acevedo, Vanessa Tamayo, and others) have to unite together to stop. Yet another movie obviously inspired by the surprise success of “Cocaine Bear” and won’t win any awards for script or originality but having said that it’s CGI effects are decent and it does provide some gruesome and gratifying kills. OK for what it is.

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“Float” (**1/2 out of four) was a mildly endearing love story about a young Asian-American woman (Michelle Krusiec) who is saved from drowning by a Caucasian dedicated lifeguard (Robbie Amell) and they unexpectedly fall in love and start to develop feelings for one another, despite their cultural and critical differences. Moments of effectiveness and insight are offset by film’s meandering nature and predictability that dwarf its overall absorption. Both Krusiec and Anell are strong and have good chemistry together but are unable to keep film sustained and “afloat” for film’s running length.

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“Tales Of Babylon” (** out of four) was a reheated recipe of Quentin Tarantino, Michael Mann, and (especially) Guy Ritchie fragments about various hitmen in London (Clive Russell, Aaron Cobham, Billie Gadsdon, and others) who find themselves all working on the same job and not knowing that all of them have different contracts against one another and have to find various ways to outwit and outsmart each other and stay alive. Writer/director Pelayo De Lario shows some intensity and talent but can’t transcend film’s derivations and story origins and the seams show obviously as film goes on (and on) for over two hours. Not bad but not “a tale” worth watching.

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“Lover, Stalker, Killer” (**1/2 out of four) was an intriguing documentary about a mechanic (Ryan Avis) who tries online dating for the first time and met a psychotic woman (Jessica N. Johnson) who takes dangerous obsession and fatal attraction to the extreme and how it turned his life upside down. Grippingly told especially for anyone who’s been involved in the unpredictable (and unstable) world of online dating and maintains interest throughout but stops just short of hitting the mark. Never groundbreaking exactly but still overall worthwhile.

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