Author: dlepikcom

“Kidnapping In The Grand Canyon” (** out of four) was a fairly derivative survival melodrama about two friends (Gina Vitori and Katrina Rosita) who go hiking in the Grand Canyon and meet a hiking guide (Phillip Boyd) who takes both of them captive and they have to fight him and the forces of nature to escape. Beautifully shot by Jordan Gzesh but otherwise pat and predictable; film is outshown by similarly themed “127 Days”, “Into The Wild”, and “Wilderness.” Mild directorial debut effort from music video director Derek Pike.

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“Elevator Game” (*1/2 out of four) was a hokey horror thriller in which various friends (Nazairy Demkowicz, Liam Stewart-Kanigan, Adam Hurtig, and others) engage in the title game which takes its players to another dimension using a set of rules that can be found online but they all start to realize this results in them dying one-by-one. Allegedly based on an online reality game but seems more like reheated and rehashed horror elements from too many other past movies. For a movie about an elevator, it takes viewers straight down instead of up.

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“It Lives Inside” (** out of four) was a middling horror psychodrama about a young teenager (Megan Suri) struggling with her cultural identity who has a falling out with her friends and family and unwittingly unleashes a demon that preys upon her loneliness and emotional vulnerability but threatens her security and sanity. Stylishly told at times by writer/director Bishal Dutta who looks at standard horror elements from a different cultural and community point of view……..but at the end these are still standard horror elements and as a result film doesn’t add up to much. Watch “It” (chapters 1 or 2 or both) instead.

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“Vanished: Searching For My Sister” (** out of four) was a languid mystery melodrama about a woman (Tatyana Ali) whose twin sister disappears and after being stalled by the police- she takes matters into her own hands and disguises herself as her sister and immerses herself into her sister’s world of drugs and crime to find out what really happened to her. Intriguing storyline of a sister assuming another’s identity is told in pretzel-time logic that recalls Christopher Nolan’s “Memento” but is overall sordid and soggy. Ali once again proves she’s a credible actress but this one will likely “vanish” from Redbox machines within a few weeks.

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“Mega Ape” (0 stars out of four) was a mega-awful horror comedy about a genetically engineered ape who escapes from a top-secret research facility and runs rampant in Hollywood while various environmentalists and law enforcement figures (Tom Sizemore, Bai Ling, Mel Nowak, and others) try to track him down. The kind of movie that makes the 1998 version of “Godzilla” and “Mighty Joe Young” look like Oscar fare by comparison. Incredibly cheap-looking in terms of effects and cinematography and stupid and boring on its own terms. Sadly, this was allegedly Sizemore’s final completed film but he’s wasted in only a few scenes.

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“Bone Cold” (**1/2 out of four) was a moderately well-done melodrama about an experienced Black Ops soldier (Jonathan Stoddard) who goes out on one final mission with another sniper (Matt Munroe) but soon find they are being tracked by enemy soldiers and have to utilize all their psychological and personal skills to stay alive in the midst of the frigid cold. Intriguing story has crisp cinematography by Ben Meredith on beautiful locations and is certainly well-acted but just misses and can’t measure up to “American Sniper” and other similar films about snipers and combat.

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“Jurassic Shark 3: Seavenge” (* out of four) was a jarringly awful horror thriller about a group of people (Jada Sanchez, Tim Hatch, Jamie Morgan, and others) who are stranded out in the middle of the ocean and are preyed upon by a 50-ton megalodon shark who wants to devour them all one-by-one. Umpteenth killer-shark movie may be the worst yet which is really saying something but terrible acting and some hideous special effects turn this into a real laugh riot. It’s movies like this that make you realize “Jaws 3 and 4” really weren’t as bad as we thought at the time.

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“Us Or Them” (*1/2 out of four) was a static snoozer about two friends (Jack Donnelly and Wayne Gordon) who go on a luxury holiday vacation with their families when they meet a strange young woman (Malin Ackerman) who convinces them to play the title game, which will either make them rich or kill them or both. Intriguing concept stalls quickly and doesn’t move and thus doesn’t generate anything in the form of tension or scares. All three leads try to do what they can but this substandard clunker lets “them” down.

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“Zombie Town” (** out of four) was a one-note horror comedy about two friends (Madi Monroe and Marlon Kazadi) who watch an old horror film reel and unearth a horrific curse and have to track down its old filmmaker (Dan Aykyroyd) to save their town from an invasion of zombies and stay alive. Good-natured movie has a few laughs and Aykroyd in perfect casting for good measure but unfortunately the chills and chuckles don’t add up to much. Chevy Chase and Henry Czerny have amusing supporting roles but are otherwise wasted.

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“Thirst” (** out of four) was an overly dry horror thriller about the spread of both insomnia and dehydration in a small town which leads to people stricken with panic and fear and various town citizens (Brian Cogley, Cynthia Gray, Amelia Glazner, and others) congregate and seek salvation on a ranch but chaos soon ensues. Too serious to be fun but yet too silly to take seriously; film incorporates elements of “Contagion” and “The Mist” but doesn’t work as either a horror thriller or as social commentary.

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