April 15, 2021 “Murder In The Woods” (*1/2 out of four) was an artless horror thriller about a group of friends (Jose Julian, Jeanette Samano, Chelsea Randon, and others) who go to (cue the ominous music) a cabin in the woods where they discover the various dark secrets beneath the cabin and realize all of their lives are in danger. Film is so utterly derivative and by-the-numbers that even the amateurish cast members seem to be just going through the motions. Danny Trejo picks up a few extra bucks as a corrupt sheriff. Filmed in 2017 and could have stayed on the shelf. Continue reading →
April 14, 2021 “Grizzly II: Revenge” (*1/2 out of four) was a cheezoid horror clunker about a giant grizzly bear who runs loose and mauls and attacks anyone and everyone (Deborrah Raffin, George Clooney, Charlie Sheen, John Rhys-Davies, Laura Dern, Louise Fletcher, and others) who gets in his way at a massive rock concert in a national park. Incredibly- this mess was filmed in 1983 in Budapest and was seized and held by the government and was subsequently completed and now released almost 40 years later but to put it kindly it hasn’t exactly aged like fine wine. Concert scenes are impressive considering film’s miniscule budget but film is completely devoid of any scares or thrills. Strictly for those who want to see these stars before they became celebrities but the bear is actually a better actor than them here. Continue reading →
April 11, 2021 “Godzilla vs. Kong” (**1/2 out of four) was an overall proficient action blockbuster about the gigantic battle between Godzilla and King Kong with several scientists and caretakers (Rebecca Hall, Alexander Skarsgard, Millie Bobby Brown, and others) racing to settle things down and to save the world. Lots of spectacular visual effects and action scenes as film has everything money can buy but is dwarfed by pedestrian screenplay with a thin storyline and one-dimensional characters. Yet another multi-million dollar behemoth that feels made by a machine and lacks heart and soul; the final battle is pretty spectacular, however, and still makes this overall worth checking out. Continue reading →
April 10, 2021 “Assistant” (* out of four) was an exceedingly trashy and unpleasant potboiler about a gullible woman (Kate Palmerston) who goes to work for a woman (Claudine Helen) as her assistant and gradually realizes she is drawn into a serpentine and sleazy web of murder and duplicity. The kind of movie where you want to take a shower almost immediately afterwards; is there anything more dispiriting than trash done with no conviction or flair? Even at only a little more than an hour, this is pretty grueling. Continue reading →
April 10, 2021 “The Power” (*1/2 out of four) was a powerless horror thriller set in 1973 in which a young nurse (Rose Williams) is forced to work the night shift in a crumbling hospital in which she soon realizes that an evil spirit is at work which turns her sanity inside-out and that of everyone around her and she has to escape and try to survive. Drably downbeat and inert and never fully rises above the routine; just because it’s set in 1973 doesn’t mean it has to feel like a movie from 1973. Laura Bellingham’s colorful cinematography provides film’s only “power” and signs of life. Continue reading →
April 10, 2021 “The Night They Knocked” (*1/2 out of four) was a wooden, hollow horror thriller about a group of friends (Linnea Gregg, Jack Buckley, Mickey Roberts, and others) who gather at a mountain cabin for a weekend of fun when a sudden knock on the door interrupts their vacation and leads to a never-ending night of horror. Numerous and endless cliches abound. When all of a sudden did “The Strangers” become the eminent horror movie to rip off? Even so, this is a “knock” well worth not answering. Continue reading →
April 7, 2021 “Mummy Dearest” (* out of four) was rockbottom horror fare about a woman (Jennifer Cozza James) who moves in with her daughter (Anna Sherman) and boyfriend (Mike Valley) which turns out to be a haunted hellhole which twists all of them inside-out and turns them all against one another and causes havoc for the surrounding locals (Tara Reid, Michael Pare, Richard Tyson, and others). No relation to any of the “Mummy” movies but makes any of them look like “Casablanca” by comparison; no suspense or no scares and no reason to watch either. Strictly for those who wonder why Reid’s career soon went nowhere and stayed there. Continue reading →
April 6, 2021 “Black Lake” (** out of four) was an oppressively unpleasant and bizarre horror show about a woman (K. Pervaiz) who leaves her family in the city and is given a gift of a red scarf which carries with it the spirit and subjective horror of a South Asian witch which twists her life inside-and-out. Lots of style and little dialogue; while some images are undeniably potent and hypnotic, the film as a whole wears you out with its over-the-top gore and its torpid pace begins to take its toll after a while. Obviously a labor of love for Pervaiz who also wrote, directed, edited, and co-produced. Unsettling music score by BurningTapes is a definite plus. Continue reading →
April 4, 2021 “All That Glitters” (** out of four) was a hollow adaptation of V.C. Andrews’ novel about the continuing adventures of Ruby (Raechelle Banno) who returns to her childhood home in the bayou when her high-school sweetheart (Paul Duke) moves in with her but is tormented by his vindictive mother (Kristian Alfonso) who reveals new secrets about a distant family member (Ty Wood) who turns out to Ruby’s daughter’s father! More soggy than sultry with enough subplots for an entire soap-opera series. For hard-core V.C. Andrews fans only. Continue reading →
April 3, 2021 “Take Back” (** out of four) was a half-hearted action melodrama about a husband and wife (Michael Jai White and Gillan White) whose happiness and marriage is disrupted when a mysterious figure (Mickey Rourke) from his wife’s past re-emerges and kidnaps their daughter bringing them both back into the criminal underworld to try and save her. Overly generic mix of double-crossings and dealings and pulp violence. Jai White sports a new look with glasses and Rourke mumbles and mugs his way through his umpteenth villain role; by this point, his fans may wish he decided to “take back” some of his career choices and make great films again. Continue reading →
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