February 20, 2021 “Paranormal Prison” (*1/2 out of four) was a haphazard horror mess about the creators (Todd Haberkorn, Paris Warner, Don Shanks, and others) of a paranormal YouTube channel that is in danger of shutting down if they don’t have a video to upload in time; in desperation, they go to a prison to attempt to solve a long-unresolved mystery with numerous personal and paranormal consequences of terror. Relentlessly moving hand-held camerawork and direction may cause you to reach for the dramamine but at least it’s a welcome distraction from the dumb characters and performances. Even at only an hour-and-10 minutes, this is still pretty tough going. Continue reading →
February 20, 2021 “Return To Splatter Farm” (* out of four) was a splatteringly awful throwback to ’80’s horror about a serial killer who returns for unfinished business in a rural town of Pennsylvania and numerous members of the town (Danielle Donahue, Nico Bryant, Mel Heflin, and others) try to band together to stop him. Lame and low-rent movie makes you think that maybe all those “Friday The 13th” and “Halloween” sequels in the ’80’s really weren’t that bad in retrospect. Scariest thing about the movie is it leaves the door open for a sequel. Continue reading →
February 17, 2021 “Galentine’s Day Nightmare” (*1/2 out of four) was a thoroughly routine suspense thriller about a woman (Camille Stopps) who meets a seeming Mr. Perfect (Anthony Grant) who turns out to be a real nutjob who frames her for murder and turns her life upside down. Anyone who has seen “Fatal Attraction” (or any other suspense thriller) will pretty much guess this entire film from its opening reel. This is the Valentine’s Day equivalent of a box of moldy chocolates. Continue reading →
February 16, 2021 “Weekenders” (** out of four) was a curiously uninvolving melodrama about four twentysomethings (Peyton Michelle Edwards, Erik Bloomquist, Ehad Berisha, and Maggie McMeans) who have a scheduling mixup and wind up at the same air b&b and try to get to know one another and come to realize they have more in common than they all might expect. Sincere and likeable performances do all that they can to keep this flimsy story afloat but it’s mostly a fizzle. Yet another imitation of “The Big Chill” that turns out to be a big nothing. Co-star Bloomquist also directed, co-wrote the script and story, and also co-produced and co-edited. Continue reading →
February 16, 2021 “Alice Fades Away” (** out of four) was a stilted melodrama set in a 1950’s New England village in which a woman (Ashley Shelton) with a troubled past stumbles onto an isolated farmhouse and is taken in by its idealistic residents (Paxton Singletary, Blanche Baker, and others) but a mysterious figure from her past re-emerges and threatens her and the village’s safety. Suspense and tension are minimal and story is too undernourished and underwritten to have much bite; only Christopher French’s moody cinematography has any resonance. Watch “Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore” (or even “Alice In Wonderland”) instead. Continue reading →
February 16, 2021 “My Autopsy” (** out of four) was an excessively lurid melodrama about a young woman (Gareth Tibball) as she tries to escape from an abusive relationship with a mysterious stranger (Dave Stishan) who came into her life but finds that the personal and psychological scars from this are more immense and paralyzing than she realized. Provocative ideas and themes are unpleasantly played out which makes this tough to take for most of its running time. Give writer/director Holly Mollohan points for tackling a serious subject matter but result is more exploitative and than explorative. Continue reading →
February 16, 2021 “Legend Of Fall Creek” (* out of four) was a woefully lame horror show which won’t develop a legend of its own about the 20th anniversary of the death of someone (Irene Watson) at a party in a small-town who makes their return and stalks and slashes his way across the guests at that party and their various family members (Frank Brantley, Alton Clemente, Chuck Clendenin) and anyone else who dares to get in his way. Throwback to classic grindhouse cinema is incredibly low-rent and proud of it but is also stupid and boring. For no apparent reason, one of the character’s names is Nikki Sixx; coincidentally or not, this disheveled mess is the real theatre of pain. Continue reading →
February 16, 2021 “Breaking News In Yuba County” (** out of four) was a strained comedy about an unhappy older woman (Allison Janney) whose philandering husband (Matthew Modine) dies but it turns out that she finds she can take advantage of this situation and reap some publicity and fame from this once the local police (led by Regina Hall) and her daughter (Mila Kunis) think he is only missing. One-joke idea in which the one joke itself isn’t all that funny or entertaining. Director Tate Taylor throws in all the screwball humor he can to keep things lively but to not much avail. Janney is strong as always and is better than film deserves; both Modine and Kunis are wasted. Continue reading →
February 15, 2021 “Cry Me A River” (** out of four) was a hazy suspense melodrama about a disgraced former sports star (Sam Hazeldine) who has been in hiding in Norway for years and is now stalked by a woman (Julie Dray) who closely remembers his murdered ex-wife which forces him to psychologically and physically re-examine her death and the aftermath of events that drove him underground. Well-crafted story of enigmas and red herrings is too muted and too aloof to really have the visceral and emotional impact it needs. Distributor later re-titled this “Dark Corners”. Continue reading →
February 14, 2021 “Me You Madness” (*** out of four) was a cheekily done madcap comedy about a young thief (Ed Westwick) who cases an exotic house in Malibu but doesn’t realize it is the home of an eccentric ’80’s-music addicted serial killer (Louise Linton who also wrote and directed) with whom he soon falls in love with! Much more style than substance here but loaded with so much wall-to-wall great ’80’s music and so much off-the-wall humor that it’s entertaining and fun. An impressive directorial debut and showcase for Linton and a definite must-watch for fans of the ’80’s! Continue reading →
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