Category: Uncategorized

“Vengeance” (*1/2 out of four) was a disjointed comedy thriller about a fugitive (Leslie Grantham) on the run for a murder he didn’t commit and returns to his hometown in London after 27 years to help his estranged daughter (Crissy Rock) who was brutally attacked and he resorts to his own form of retribution and his former friends to enact revenge. Strenuously uneven story can’t decide whether it’s a witless comedy, a limp revenge thriller, or an uninvolving underground melodrama and thus doesn’t make an impact as anything. Grantham’s sincere performance is film’s one positive grace.

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“Cola Wars” (***1/2 out of four) was an exceptionally well-done and well-researched documentary about the historic battle between Coca-Cola and Pepsi for the soft drink market and how this affected consumerism significantly in the ’70’s and ’80’s in multi-million dollar endorsement deals with various artists and also later led to Coke historically changing their recipe and marketing strategies for a brief while. Particularly fascinating for those who lived through this time period and also features interesting commentaries on how this tied into capitalism and consumerism of the ’80’s and features plenty of interviews and old commercials.

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“The Nights Before Christmas” (*1/2 out of four) was a good-looking but gory, heavy-handed horror show about a murderous Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus (Simon Phillips and Sayla de Goede) who go on a holiday rampage and have to play a cat-and-mouse game with the F.B.I. (led by Ken Bressers) who are trying to put an end to their reign of terror. Reasonably well-made but otherwise doesn’t have much distinction from umpteen other holiday-themed horror bashes and runs out of energy pretty early; maybe “Silent Night, Deadly Night” wasn’t as bad as everyone thought all those years ago.

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“Rest Area” (* out of four) was an abjectly awful action melodrama about a retired navy seal and C.I.A. operative (Andy Barker) who is on his way home after burying a teammate when he runs into a drug dealer who has sold to many former teammates and he has to decide whether to let him live or die. Lame attempt at mixing an action story with clumsy social commentary and writer/co-director/star/co-producer/cinematographer Barker isn’t nimble at either one. Sleep zone may have been a more apt title for this timewaster.

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“Darkness In Tenement 45” (*1/2 out of four) was an ambitious slog about a precocious 16-year old (Nicole Tompkins) who lives in a low-income apartment building with her overbearing aunt (Casey Kramer); soon the building is boarded up and the tenants are imprisoned due to a pending threat from the Soviet Union and the girl must fight to break free from her aunt, the world threat, and poverty in general. Writer director Nicole Groton heavy-handedly tries to graft various social and political points onto a tired horror framework; give her some points for trying but the results are stale, dull, and unconvincing.

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“Sleepaway Slasher” (*1/2 out of four) was a substandard horror pic about a group of fledgling horror filmmakers (Shawn Thomas Diefenbach, Steven Anderson, and others) who are invited to a horror-movie competition at the site of an unfinished ’80’s cult movie when the bodies start piling up and they realize someone has taken their love of horror films to a bit of an extreme. Throwback to ’80’s horror movies makes you think that maybe the ’80’s weren’t really that great; this one is low-rent pretty much all the way through. James Franco (!) was film’s executive producer but had the good sense to have his name removed.

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“Unhuman Nature” (* out of four) was a near-unwatchable horror psychodrama about a troubled F.B.I. agent (Adam Meirick) sent to the Pacific Northwest on a case that nobody else wanted but soon finds himself entangled with the locals in a deadly game that the town wants to keep secret. Dreadful story is cheap and amateurish but also sluggish and boring. Meirick also co-wrote this clunker but may have bitten off more than he can type judging by the results.

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“Synchronic” (*1/2 out of four) was a dreary horror melodrama about two alcoholic paramedics (Anthony Mackie and Jamie Dornan) who encounter a series of horrific deaths linked to the title designer drug which they come to realize has a series of bizarre and hallucinatory side effects. Opens promisingly but grows more cerebral and slower and gradually falls apart before its pretentious climax. Mackie is strong as usual and provides film’s only real grit and heart.

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“Key Lime Voodoo” (*1/2 out of four) was a sour horror thriller about a renegade detective (Austin Jones) who is out of his jurisdiction in the Florida Keys trying to solve an abduction and possible murder when he encounters spirits that attempt him from finding her and threaten his sanity and thus his life. Florida Keys scenery is nicely captured and shot but haphazard storytelling combined with overall unpleasantness may leave you feeling with strong indigestion. Jones does what he can with nondescript role.

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“The Craft: Legacy” (*1/2 out of four) was a toothless sequel to the 1996 cult classic which won’t develop much of a legacy of its own about a new girl in town (Cailee Spaeny) who is befriended by a trio of outcasts in school (Gideon Adlon, Zoey Luna, and Lovie Simone) who turn her on to the spell of witchcraft and they seek to take vengeance on school and all who have affected them. More-or-less a remake, rather than a sequel, of the original and plays like a watered-down t.v.-movie rehash. Let’s just be kind and say this coven just doesn’t have the magic or spell of the original cast. Michelle Monaghan delivers film’s only strong performance as Spaeny’s mom but this otherwise totally lacks the conviction and “craft” of the original.

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