June 16, 2020 “Funhouse” (** out of four) was an underdone horror show about 8 internet celebrities from around the globe (Valter Skarsgard, Khamisa Wilsher, Gigi Saul Guerrero, and others) who compete in an online reality show in which they soon realize they are playing for their very lives and their deaths will soon be broadcast to the entire world. Not the worst of its kind, with some gruesomely imaginative kills and amusing irony, but just a bunch of ideas collected from other and better movies (“The Hunger Games” in particular). By this point- is there really anything left to satirize about social media and the mass commercialism of violence? Continue reading →
June 16, 2020 “The Clearing” (*** out of four) was a fierce horror thriller set during the zombie apocalypse in which a dedicated father (Liam McIntyre) must fight through a Hell wrath of zombies in order to save his daughter (Aundrea Smith) before they’re both turned into zombie brunch and eaten alive. Umpteenth zombie story is livened up and given a fresh coat of paint by unusually vivid and scary zombie attacks and breathless action scenes. Takes its time to get going but once it does there is no letup. Byetheway, this is not a remake of the 2004 Robert Redford/Willem Dafoe drama of the same name. Continue reading →
June 13, 2020 “Darkness Falls” (*1/2 out of four) was a misbegotten murder melodrama about a troubled young detective (Shawn Ashmore) grieving for the recent death of his wife who everyone thinks committed suicide but he then begins to suspect that she was murdered and obsessively trails down all clues, leading to a father/son team (Gary Cole and Richard Harmon) of serial killers whom he swears to bring down. Tired story of serial killers and vengeance and murder doesn’t offer much that’s vitally new to the genre. No relation to the 2003 horror movie of the same time but owes quite a lot to “Death Wish” and (more to the point) “Mad Max.” Continue reading →
June 13, 2020 “Artemis Fowl” (*** out of four) was a frothy adaptation of Eoin Colfer’s blockbuster 2001 novel about the title character (Ferdia Shaw) who becomes a young criminal prodigy who has to search a secret society of fairies (Josh Gad, Lara McDonnell, Adrian Scarborough, and others) to find his missing father (Colin Farrell) but finds that this is a far grander adventure than he realized. Not much story per se but it moves along bouncily and throws so much eye candy and visual effects at you nonstop that it’s fun and entertaining just the same. A nicely done change-of-pace for director Kenneth Brannagh. Continue reading →
June 12, 2020 “The Departure” (**1/2 out of four) was a slight but engaging story about a hot-shot sales manager (Grant Wright Gunderson) who is offered a lucrative promotion for a job in New York; prior to leaving, he asks his best friend (Austin Lauer) to attempt to sleep with his girlfriend (Kendall Chappell) to test her loyalty but this leads to complications and consequences for all of them. Minimalist melodrama yields moderate results but sharp performances from all three keep you watching and keep you involved up till its ending which is unsatisfying and abrupt. Same story told to broader and more comic effect in 1998’s “Kissing A Fool.” Continue reading →
June 12, 2020 “Exit Plan” (** out of four) was a terminally weird and dour story about a man with terminal cancer (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) who checks into a hotel with mysterious secrets and that specializes in assistance with elaborate suicide plans (!) and it is there that he confronts his own mortality and questions his own reality and grasp on the life that he has left. Coster-Waldau is first-rate but you know hardly anything about him or his various relationships that film generates nothing but a sense of cold aloofness. Some eerie moments to be sure but you may be planning your own exit plan long before the hour-and-a-half is up. Continue reading →
June 12, 2020 “Dating Amber” (*** out of four) was a sweetly affecting story of two gay teenagers (Fionn O’Shea and Lola Petticrew) who decide to tell everyone they’re in a straight relationship to fit in with the rest of society but complications ensue especially when they later discover they actually have feelings for one another and start to fall in love. Not a total success, as film often veers from lighthearted comedy to serious drama, but has enough tender moments and laughs to make it a fun viewing. O’Shea and Petticrew’s strong performances and even stronger chemistry and camaraderie gives film a key boost. Continue reading →
June 11, 2020 “Tape” (*1/2 out of four) was an impenetrable melodrama about an aspiring actress (Isabella Fuhrman) in NYC who crosses path with a series of freaks and weirdos and discovers the dark and seedy underbelly of this business and how low she must go within her soul and motivation to make it to the other side. Based on a true story but film wallows in tedium and unpleasantness for nearly two hours and offers no new insights except that acting is a tough business. Leslie Graves’ somber score and stirring music by Michelangelo Sosnowitz are film’s few virtues. If you must watch, try to see if you can make sense of Annarosa Mudd’s bizarre character and performance. Continue reading →
June 11, 2020 “Two Heads Creek” (*** out of four) was a wildly uneven but entertaining romp set in Australia in which a brother and sister (Jordan Waller and Kathryn Wilder) venture to the outback to find the birthplace of their mother but find that the gentle and friendly veneer of the townsfolk hides something much darker and horrific in that many of them are cannibals who like to grind up and eat tourists! Certainly not for all tastes (and certainly inspired by the early works of Peter Jackson especially “Bad Taste”) but has enough screwball laughs and tongue-in-cheek goriness to keep you watching humorously. Waller also wrote the at the times very funny script. Continue reading →
June 10, 2020 “The Dinner Party” (*1/2 out of four) was a bloody mess about a wealthy but deeply eccentric surgeon (Bill Sage) who invites a struggling playwright (Mike Mayhall) and his wife (Allie Hart) to their home for dinner with a promise to bankroll his latest play but have deeper/darker intentions and they soon struggle to psychologically and physically survive. Writer-director Miles Doleac has some flashes of style and macabre wit but it’s gory and mean enough to give anyone indigestion. Hardly a “party” worth attending, especially at nearly two hours. Continue reading →
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