November 11, 2018 “Overlord” (** out of four) was an overstuffed hodgepodge about a rogue squad of American soldiers (Wyatt Russell, John Magaro, Bokeem Woodbine, and others) in WWII who fall behind enemy lines on the eve of D-Day and discover vicious and violent experiments that Nazis are performing and they must struggle to protect each other and escape. Lumpy mix of horror, sci/fi, and WWII melodrama has some good individual scenes and scares that don’t cohere into a satisfying whole. Woodbine is wasted as the boy’s tough sergeant. Produced by J.J. Abrams but lacking his usual Spielberg-grandeur and imagination. Continue reading →
November 10, 2018 “Death House” (*1/2 out of four) was a forgettable horror pic about two federal agents (Cody Longo and Cortney Palm) who investigate a secret prison known as the Death House in which they have to face a labyrinth of horrors while simultaneously being pursued by inmates and they have to struggle to regain their sanity and try to survive. Collection of long-lost ’80’s horror stars (Adrienne Barbeau, Tony Moran, Kane Hodder, Dee Wallace, Bill Moseley) adds up to absolutely nothing as story becomes incoherent and senseless. Original Leatherface actor Gunnar Hansen was one of film’s co-writers but he would have served himself and the audience better by putting a chainsaw to this film’s script. Continue reading →
November 10, 2018 “Mean Queen” (*1/2 out of four) was a dumb, derivative teen melodrama about a teacher (Zoe McLellan) and her daughter (Niya Roam) who try to move on after a difficult year but mom becomes concerned when her daughter soon becomes friends with the school’s resident mean girl (Allie Macdonald) who they realize has a vindictive and murderous streak and will stop at nothing to become the school’s prom queen. Unfortunately, neither Regina George nor Gretchen Weiner showed up to salvage this mess and show them what being a mean girl is all about. Unusually mean-spirited film more than lives up to its title but is defeated by unlikeable characters and overall lack of logic. Continue reading →
November 9, 2018 “The Ranger” (*1/2 out of four) was a shoddy, silly horror thriller about a group of teen punks (Chloe Levine, Granit Lahu, Bubba Weiler, and others) on the run from the cops who hide out in the local woods but are stalked to the death by a berserk park ranger (Jeremy Holm) with more than a few axes to grind. Utterly by-the-numbers horror programmer without any style or conviction, not to mention any scares. Holm seems to be having fun in the title role but most other cast members you’ll be waiting to die. Continue reading →
November 9, 2018 “Die In One Day” (* out of four) was a deadly bore about a man (David White) desperately searching for his daughter (Lisa Marie Picciolo) who instead meets a mysterious actress (Kateryna Korchynska) who entices him to take part in a 24-hour game which turns out to be much more bloody and dangerous than he imagined. Unfortunately, the film itself is pretty unimaginative and pretty nonsensical and silly at the same time. Film’s poster may remind you of “The Purge” but this makes that look like Hitchcock by comparison. Watch “Die Another Day” instead. Continue reading →
November 8, 2018 “Watch If You Dare” (0 stars out of four) was an unwatchable mess about an incoherent collection of horror stories, each one worse than the next. In the first, a masochist decides to cut off part of his skin as a means of sacrifice and sadism. In another, a dinner guest shows up and finds out the hosts are cannibals and that he’s on the menu. Sickening and stupid but also low-rent and boring, and some of the dreadful acting really has to be seen to be believed. For masochists and freaks only. Continue reading →
November 7, 2018 “Cheat The Hangman” (* out of four) was a stultifyingly awful Western that will cheat the viewers who are seeking any entertainment or enlightenment. In the old West (actually contemporary Georgia and South Carolina but never mind), the son of a hangman (Barry W. Jerald, Jr.) becomes embroiled in escalating gunplay with the men who killed his father and finds that his own fate lies in the hands of a rival hangman who has to decide on his life. Laughably bad acting is matched by cheesy sets and ugly cinematography that looks at times like it was shot in someone’s backyard! This turkey makes any of Clint’s lesser Westerns look like masterpieces by comparison. Continue reading →
November 6, 2018 “Robin Hood: The Rebellion” (** out of four) was a chintzy retelling of the classic story about the legendary prince of thieves (Ben Freeman) who discovers that the love of his life Marian (Marie Everett) has been captured by the Sherriff Of Nottingham (James Oliver Wheatley) and him and his team of outlaws must attempt a daring rescue to save her. Climactic battle scene is over before you even know it! Freeman is good in the lead but his role is underwritten. Not bad but can’t match the fervor and passion of the 1991 Kevin Costner version although this is fairly on par with the 2010 Russell Crowe adaptation. Continue reading →
November 5, 2018 “Monster Party” (*1/2 out of four) was a gory mess about three none-too-bright teenage thieves (Sam Strike, Virginia Gardner, and Brandon Micheal Hall) who infiltrate a mansion dinner party hosted by an elite serial killer cult (Julian McMahon, Robin Tunney, and others) and try to escape before they become part of their victims list. Tunney and McMahon are amusingly cast as the cult leaders but film becomes off-puttingly weird and stupid and extremely bloody. Party elsewhere, you’ll be much better off. Continue reading →
November 4, 2018 “The First Date” (0 stars out of four) was absolute rockbottom dreck about a woman (Sherri Lyn Litz) who tries online dating and meets a mysterious stranger who shares her love for scary films but she soon finds out he’s a pretty scary person himself. Jaw-droppingly incoherent at times and loaded with abysmal acting and filmmaking. This looks like it was filmed by someone’s crummy cell phone. Continue reading →
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