June 18, 2017 “Once Upon A Time In Venice” (*1/2 out of four) was an irritatingly stupid comedy about a Los Angeles private eye (Bruce Willis) out to settle a score with the bumbling street gang who stole his dog! They should have stolen the script to this dog instead. Once upon a time, Willis actually made entertaining movies but this one will definitely die hard and disappear. Director Mark Cullen was one of the writers of Willis’ equally awful “Cop Out”. John Goodman gets some of film’s few laughs as Willis’ best friend and partner in crime. Continue reading →
June 16, 2017 “Dragonheart: Battle For The Heartfire” (** out of four) was a bland sequel to the medieval adventure series about the magical dragon Drago (voiced by Patrick Stewart) who tries to intercede and end the rivalry between a brother (Tom Rhys Harries) and sister (Jessamine Bliss-Bell) who are both fighting for their grandfather’s throne. Hard to believe that this series that began all the way back in 1996 could generate so many sequels and prequels and even harder to believe how anybody could still care by now; not bad but not memorable either. You’d best re-watch the original again instead because it’s virtually the same story anyway. Continue reading →
June 15, 2017 “Strip Club Massacre” (* out of four) was a trashy film massacre about a young girl (Erin Brown) who is seriously down-on-her-luck and begins a new job at a strip club where no one is what they seem which results in havoc involving plenty of shootouts and sex. Dreadful melodrama is strictly for the 42nd Street grindhouse crowd or those that thought “Showgirls” was robbed at Oscar time. Seemingly edited with a chainsaw and doesn’t so much end as come to an abrupt halt, although no one will be complaining. Brown’s strong performance is film’s only saving grace. Continue reading →
June 14, 2017 “11:55” (** out of four) was a sincere but unexceptional story about a U.S. marine (Victor Almanzar) who returns to his hometown and finds himself struggling with P.T.S.D. and falling back into the violent street life he tried to escape which leads to confrontations with former rivals. Almanzar’s strong performance carries this as far as it can go but story is limited in its emotional power and we’ve been down these streets far too many times in other (better) movies. Climactic showdown is more of a slowdown. Give this points for attempting to incorporate elements of military P.T.S.D. into an urban melodrama but it’s overall superficial and forgettable. Continue reading →
June 13, 2017 “Escape From Pleasure Planet” (* out of four) was a laughably dumb porn melodrama masquerading as a sci/fi movie that you can’t wait to escape from. On a distant planet, a princess (Blair Williams) has her erotic vacation interrupted by a renegade alien force led by her arch enemy (Erika Jordan) and more problems ensue when they all crashland on Earth and discover sex for the first time. Lots of graphic sex in search of a point and plot. Dreadful acting and filmmaking makes “Plan 9 From Outer Space” look like Noel Coward by comparison. Continue reading →
June 13, 2017 “Game Of Aces” (*1/2 out of four) was a losing hand about a drunken American soldier (Chris Klein) and a foreign military operative (Victoria Summer) tasked with the rescue mission of a German traitor (Werner Daehn) during World War I which results in a multitude of consequences for all of them. Dated and dull war melodrama is earnest but covers familiar terrain without much heat or conviction and performances are mostly one-note. It’s movies like these that quickly killed Klein’s promising career. Searing music score by Chris Morgan. Continue reading →
June 11, 2017 “Sleight” (** out of four) was a slight urban melodrama about a teenager who works as a street magician (Jacob Lattimore) who is forced to take care of his younger sister after his parent’s pass away and subsequently turns to selling drugs but soon finds himself over his head with nowhere to turn but the magic that has helped and inspire him. Standard story is predictable and has routine complications although its climax- when Lattimore does actually use his magic- is a wow. Vibrant cinematography and Lattimore’s solid performance do their best to offset mediocre script. Continue reading →
June 11, 2017 “Reel Nightmare” (* out of four) was a real bore about three beautiful witches who are awakened by (here’s a novel plot twist) an ancient book and they then begin haunting and terrorizing a movie production crew that’s filming in their former house. Actually rips off the plot of “Beetlejuice” at times, if you can believe that! Inept horror thriller is utterly bereft of scares or thrills and suffers from some reel bad acting. John DeFazio’s impressive and colorful cinematography is film’s only lifeline. Continue reading →
June 11, 2017 “Shimmer Lake” (*1/2 out of four) was a dreary Netflix story about a small-town sheriff (Benjamin Walker) investigating three criminals and a bank heist that they were involved in which went horribly awry. Film is told in reverse but it hardly matters since characters are unlikeable and story is uninvolving and not worth caring about; after a while, it drowns in it’s own unpleasantness. Film doesn’t end so much as stop, if you make it that far. Highly reminiscent of the Coen Bros. (“Blood Simple”, “Fargo”) but severely lacking their grandeur and style. Continue reading →
June 10, 2017 “Patchwork” (** out of four) was an aptly titled horror thriller about three young girls (Tory Stolper, Tracey Fairaway, Maria Blasucci) who go out partying one night and wake up attached together in the same body and they must try to find out what happened and why and how they can get revenge. Uneven and often unpleasant movie has a few great scenes to keep it alive and keep you watching. Director Tyler Macintyre shows some flashes of style and originality that show you some hopeful signs of better things to come. Good soundtrack overpowers slight script. Continue reading →
dlepikcom 